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It was a year since what happened with Alpha, everyone was at edge, later on Oceanside called for us to help with walkers.
At first, I remembered first meeting Cyndie here, sure she did try to kill me, but I got to know the reel her, after that memory after memory came. When we would fish together, train together, and sit by the ocean.
But than I was reminded about seeing her on that spike.
After we cleared all the walkers, I went to sit near the ocean, it reminded me when Cyndie and I first sat near the ocean, we talked about are lives before the fall.
Ethane. I heard Rachel say behind me.
Hey. I said.
Look, Ethane I know how much Cyndie meant to you, and I just wanted to give this to you. Cyndie was going send it to you but never got the chance. Rachel said as she left.
I looked at the letter Rachel gave me, I sat down and opened it.
'' Dear Ethane, how are how? um how is Alexandria? Sorry I'm not all that great at letters. Look I know we haven't been able to se each other, due to Michonne's rules. But I want you to know that I still care about you, shit I even miss you. You and your terrible fishing skill's, ha sorry. But really I miss you. And missing you made me realize something, and when I tell you this It's really okay if you don't feel the same way. It made me realize that I love you. And Yeah it only took me a year of dating you to realize that. But it's the truth. And I was thinking maybe I would stop by Alexandria, well if Michonne allows me in. But the bottom line is I want to see you. Anyway I hope your doing well, I hope you are doing well. I love you.
Love Cyndie.
Tears came down my face. I did love Cyndie, I loved everything about her. She was kind and gentle.
Ethane. I heard Quinn.
She came and sat beside me, she didn't say anything she just sat their and grabbed my hand. Quinn knew what I needed, and I was glad I had her in my life.
PUT OUT THE FIRE! We heard Nathan yell.
Quinn and I ran down and saw that half on Hilltop was on fire.
We got back to Alexandria, I was going to go for look out but than I heard Judith call me.
Hey, Jude. I said.
Uncle Ethane, it's about Negan. Judith said.
Jude, I told you, I'm not gonna talk to Negan, okay. I said.
Please uncle Ethane, he's changed I promise, and he won't talk to anyone else but you. Judith said.
After what Judith said to, I told her I would go talk to Negan, not for a long time, properly a 5 minute talk.
Once I got down there I saw him, it was seven years since I'd seen him, I kept my distance away for a reason.
Damn, look at that, what's it's been seven years and my son finally came to visit. Negan said.
I thought you said, I wasn't your son. I said.
Oh, come on. You can't really believe me when I said that. That was just something I said, to toughen you up. Negan said.
Toughen me up. I was seventeen years old, when you said that to me. Look I'm only here for five minuets, well actually three minuets. I said.
Look, son- I grabbed a stool and threw it at his bars.
Stop calling me that, you stopped being my dad once mom died. Because the Negan I knew loved working at school because he loved working with kids. He used to take me to the skate park and teach me all types of different moves because he wanted to be the cool dad for me. He would always tell me to be the bigger person when some shit show starts trouble. And he loved playing video games with me, because we would always play it when I would get home from school, and mom would yell at us for getting off of it, but he wanted to keep playing, not because of the game. But because he wanted to spend time with me. That Negan Smith was my Father.
Negan sat there and had nothing to say, he looked sad though.
But you, are nothing to me, Judith may think you have changed, and sure maybe you have, but I still remembers everything that you did. You left Mom and I, when she begged you not to go, and you left a fourteen year old to look after my mother. And before you found her, I did first. I called for her and when I went down that basement and found her, a walker. And than I saw you, and after I went to you for comfort, you blamed me for Mom's death. And I believed it was. Half my life you told me every minuet, every hour of my life. You killed people Infront of me, called me weak when I refused to kill someone's husbands. And now you have the guts to tell me that it was al just to toughen me up? I said.
Back then, I was just scared that if I didn't treat you the way I treated you, you would end up like your mother. Dead and a walker. And I didn't want that for you. Negan said.
You can say that all you want, but I know the truth, you wanted me gone. And I'm so glad that I found Payton, because she was one one that was there, she was the one who told me it wasn't my fault what happened. Payton was there, while you were off being the Negan that everyone feared. I said.
Negan once again didn't say anything, he just looked at me with so much guilt.
Your time is up, and you can stay here all you want, but if you think that saying sorry can make me forgive what you done, than your wrong. I said on my way to walk out the door.
I really never stopped loving you Ethane, deep down you'll always me my boy, my son. Weather you like it or not. Negan said.
He was right, but he would never be my father, not to me.
