A Blast From The Past (Jungkook FF 21+)

chapter 33

FLASHBACK

Y/n pov

"No, Y/n, it was my mother."
I gasped, out loud, as I covered my mouth with both hands. Without staring back at me, he kept going on about it.
"I closed the door and ran immediately to the bathroom... to vomit my guts out." I saw him shiver and then hug himself, as if trying to shield his whole being from that horrible vision.
"Please, stop! You don't have to continue. I don't want to see you like this." I ran my hand through his hair, trying to comfort him.
"No, I need to tell someone. I've kept it inside for too long." I nodded and wanted to pull him close to me but instead, he took my hand in his, urging me to keep a distance; otherwise, he would have broken down before finishing the story.
"What was she doing there? I mean... I realize it's a stupid question... I..." I couldn't go on.
"She was on vacation, with her friends. Funny thing is, I had called home a couple of days before and my father had told me she was at our beach house, in Jeju. In Jeju." He chuckled at the incredulity.
"Didn't she think she could run into you, there? I mean...uhm...I know it's an enormous city and chances to run into each other are fluke but, still." He shook his head.
"No, because she was staying in Boston. And, besides that, in a thousand years, she wouldn't have expected to see me there. Same as I, on the other hand." I listened to everything he said.
"What did you do then?" I kept squeezing his hand. It had gotten so cold, almost as if there was no blood running through his veins.
"I called a taxi and went home. During the ride, I booked a plane ticket to Seoul. I didn't want to stay there, even for a moment. I packed everything I could, as fast as I could and went to the airport. In the meantime, my mother kept calling me non-stop, so I had to block her number." His eyes went completely blank.
"Do you think, Yoongi did it on purpose?" I had a faint idea that this was a well organized plan but I had to ask.
"Of course, he did. That's how he works. He collects info on you so he could use it as a leverage when he deems it necessary. He caught two birds with one stone. I can't believe I was such a fool. I should've stopped when I said I would but Yoongi knew how much I was addicted to sex and I would cave in, if he asked me nicely." He was angry but at himself.
"And your girlfriend?"
"Honestly?! She had totally slipped through my mind. She was the last person I would think of. I wanted to break up with her for a long time. She was the typical shallow person. All facade and no substance. With you, I could talk about anything and we end up talking for hours, like time doesn't exist. With her, every argument was limited to futile things. After a while, even sex grew tiresome. Sometimes, I couldn't wait to finish and take a shower." He laid down the car seat.
"But why didn't break up, then?! Wasn't it more... honest, if you told her you had no feelings towards her?" He turned around, to stare at me, questioningly.
"That's rich, coming from me, I knoooowww..." I raised my arms in the air.
"I tried once and, the next morning, Yoongi, seeing that she wasn't waking up, had gone to check in on her. He had found her in the bed, her hand hanging low and her medicine bottle on the ground, completely empty. She stayed in hospital for a while, back then. She was unconscious for two days. I really felt both trapped and guilty, not knowing what to do." I nodded.
"Once in Seoul, what did you do?" I asked.
"I told my father that I didn't want to go back in N.Y and I wanted to transfer to Seoul so I could help him take over the company, once I was ready. He was thrilled. Probably, because he knew that, his chances of getting better were diminishing by the day." He kept looking at a blank space somewhere in the dark.
"Did Yoongi contact you after that day?" Even the idea made my body chill.
"No, he had gotten what he wanted. Plus, the next day, one of my friends called to tell me that my girlfriend had made quite a scene looking for me. He had told her that I didn't know where I was or when I would be getting back."
"And your mother?"
"She got back after a week. She had gone to look for me back where I lived and my friend had told her I flew back to Seoul. She waited a whole week to find the courage to get back home, I guess." During all of his confession, he avoided my gaze.
"Hey, look at me, love." He shook his head.
"It's not your fault, okay. It's not!" He finally turned to look at me and tried to put on a smile.
"The tension in the house could be cut off with a knife. Neither of us were ready to discuss what happened. Our conversations were limited to greetings and that's it. I couldn't even look at her without feeling disgusted at her or even myself. One morning, we were alone and she pleaded with me to listen to her. She cried and told me it was the first time she had done something like that. She told how she felt neglected for years because all my father could think of was work. She begged me to believe her." He huffed but then continued.
"She hasn't really cared about him, not once; only about his money. He basically took her out of the mud. He paid her father's debts and then married her. But you can't base a whole marriage on gratitude alone. He always gave her what she wanted. He thought that lavishing her with money would make her happy. When I got back, I learned they were sleeping in separate rooms. I knew better than to ask, at that point." I urged him to get close to me cause I wanted to hold him.
"Y/n, my biggest fear is that, one day, I end up like my father. Trapped in a loveless marriage with nothing to look forward to but work." He was holding me tight, his head nested into my neck. I think this was the saddest thing I had heard him say. I wanted to reassure him that he wouldn't and that he was loved. After he calmed down he said.
"Let's go home, shall we. I can't wait to be alone with you." He straightened up and started the car.
"But we are alone. Unless you're seeing other people in the backseat which would totally freak me out right now." I tried to cheer him up and I managed to make him smile.
"No, silly. I meant alone, at home. I can't wait to see the homey version of you." He cupped my chin as he scrunched his nose, playfully.
"I didn't know you were such a sucker for domestic life, Jeon. You sound like an annoying husband." I chuckled at my own words.
"Well, it's the right occasion to practice, don't you think?!" I widened my eyes, totally not expecting such a thing coming out of his mouth.
"Aren't we jumping a bit ahead of time thinking already about these things?!" I asked.
"Is somebody having cold feet already?!" He was smirking.
"You wish! I'll show the worst version of me, then. You'll see my puffy morning face and my messy bun. My face with my mask on as I walk around in baggy clothes. Then, you'll regret everything you wished for." I answered, putting on a fake moody attitude.
"Honestly, I can't wait to see all of that. I want nothing more. I've seen enough of shiny things that are crappy on the inside." He face turned a bit sour. Probably, thinking about his parents.
"Do you ever imagine us... ahead, I mean." I started talking like a lunatic.
"I do, actually. I imagine a lot of things, when it comes to us." He winked at me, not freaking out at all.
"If it's the right person, I don't mind getting married at a young age. Am I making you freak out, right now?!" He chuckled, seeing me move relentlessly in my seat.
"If you don't expect me to stay home then, no, you are not freaking me out." I answered, honestly.
"Of course I don't expect you to stay home. I want to help you realize your dreams. I will have your back, whenever." He cupped my cheek and rested his hand on it, keeping it there until I turned around and kissed it.
"And now you're gonna tell me you're even willing to stay home with the kids?!" I spurted out, casually.
"Why not?!" I turned around, now completely shocked.
"Jeon, you are showing a whole other side of you today."
"I want to do everything my dad didn't, or couldn't. What did he gain by working nonstop and having his personal life fall apart?! I have seen more strangers than my own parents. Sometimes, I think, my mother didn't even want me. I was some sort of guarantee for her marriage. I want my kids to know they are wanted and loved and never doubt about it."

KTH pov

After Y/n and Jungkook left, the mood was totally ruined. None of us was willing to go to bed, not wanting to leave Namjoon alone. He looked hellish.
"Joonie, you should get some sleep. You're exhausted. Staying awake won't do you any good." Even Jin tried to persuade him.
"Tae is right. It was an overwhelming evening. You need some sleep." I nodded at him.
"Like sleep would fix my heartbreak." He kept walking up and down, not giving it a rest.
"You just broke up with your girlfriend. You gotta give yourself a little time. It's good that you're going back to N.Y, though. At least, you won't get to see the two of them together." I said, hoping to comfort him.
"I'll just wait for her to come back to me. She thinks she's in love with him but she's just mistaking infatuation over him with love." He said, casually.
"Dude, come on. Are you even listening to yourself?! She left with him and didn't even look back. She's not going to come back!" He shook his head, still in denial.
"That fucker is gonna mess up, I know. And... she'll come back to me." He said, totally convinced at his own words.
"You know... or you wish for it to happen?" I asked him.
"You're still defending him even after what he's done?! I'm speechless. Honestly, don't even talk to me." I turned around to look at the others and Jin simply gestured for me to leave him be.
"I'll head back home, tomorrow. I need to talk to her. We can't end it like this. It's me and her we're talking about." He kept insisting.
"She left you for another guy. She's been fucking with him since the day you left. The whole house heard them. My room was next to his. Do you need me to fill you up with the details?!" Somebody needed to put him into perspective. He was being way too delusional for his own good.
"Will you please shut up! I'm already going crazy. I don't need a mental picture of the two of them, right now." He started hitting his head with his fists.
"Joonie, stop it!" I ran to stop him from harming himself.
"Tomorrow morning, we all head back home, then. But you won't go anywhere near her, do you hear me?!" Jin, being the older one, was trying to put his foot down.
"No, you hear me. She's not in her right mind."

p.s: noooo, Joonie, don't