A Blast From The Past (Jungkook FF 21+)

chapter 32

FLASHBACK

Y/n pov

"Tell me whenever you're ready, okay. I could never judge you. I love you!" He abruptly stopped the car, in the middle of the road.
"Do you realize it's the first time you said it to me?" I began to scratch my forehead. I didn't want him to make a big deal out of it. He knew I loved him, otherwise I wouldn't have chosen him. I opened the car door and got out to get some fresh air. He followed swiftly.
"Kookie, pleaseee, don't make a big deal out of it." He pulled me by the hand and crashed me to his chest.
"I love you, too, baby." I trapped him between my arms.
"I can't believe we're saying it to each other, for the first time. And in the middle of a dark road, of all places." He lifted my chin and held my face between his big hands, kissing my lips, my eyes, my nose, right in the middle of the road. Our bodies were illuminated only by the car's headlights.
"I think it's romantic. Looks like a scene from a movie." I got on my tiptoes so I could nest my face in his collarbone.
"Well...let me make it better then." He brushed his nose into my hair, kissing the top of my head.
"Do you want to spend the rest of vacation with me? We can go anywhere you want." I stepped back so, I could look at him. He was eyeing me, expectantly. I pretended to think, even if I had already decided to say yes the moment he asked. Waiting for an answer was making him so nervous that he was pulling down the hems of his sweatshirt.
"Of course I will. You look so cute when I keep you on edge." He pretended to fake slap my cheek, using his index finger.
"You're so gonna pay for this one." His bunny expression turned into a naughty one.
"But... can we just stay home. I don't feel like being around people, right now. And, honestly, I just want to be alone with you." He nodded but didn't reply properly.
"Now, let's get in the car before we catch the flu and spend the rest of the vacation in bed." Truth be told, it was really cold but we hadn't realized until we got back in the car and turned on the heat.
"We can stay at my place, what do you say?" After settling inside the car, he finally answered.
"Wouldn't your parents mind having a stranger in their house?" I asked, timidly.
"You're not a stranger, you're my girlfriend. They better get used to it. I intend to have you around for a very long time." That made me smile like a kid who had just been given candy.
"How long is long?" I eyed him.
"Until you get bored with me." He smiled, as he brushed a strand of hair, behind my ear.
"Or... you could get bored with me." My mood changed drastically. Namjoon's words were really messing with my head.
"Y/n, please, look at me." I was hanging my head down and he cupped my chin so he could get my attention.
"That is never going to happen, okay?!" I nodded, not wanting to ruin the moment.
"And, on the good news front, there should be no one at the house. My parents are away. The doctors had suggested that my father should get some fresh air. It's supposed to improve his health a bit, for what's possible." I saw him squeeze the steering wheel, not wanting to show how bad, his father's illness, affected him.
"You don't have to always be strong in front of me. I hope you know that. I want to see all of your sides." He was still focused on driving as I caressed his arm, letting him know I was there for him.
"Some sides, better stay hidden. I don't think anyone would want to see them."
We drove in silence for quite some time. Jungkook decided to put on some music. Between everything that happened, we totally forgot to turn on the radio.
"Can I ask you something?" He simply nodded, telling me to go on.
"Why did you quit the "job" back in N.Y?" I air quoted the word job.
"It was really because of your father or... I mean..." I didn't know how to continue.
"It was because of your girlfriend?" I managed to complete the sentence, in one go.
"Listen, Y/n." He got my full attention, since he never addressed me on first name bases, unless it was something really serious.
"What I'm about to tell you, nobody knows about it. Not even Taehyung. I have told him only part of what really happened because the whole truth would be too humiliating." I could feel the tension in his words, by the way he was breathing and moving his shoulders. It was like, all of a sudden, he was gasping for air.
"After I joined the club full time, I became Yoongi's main source of profit. At first, I was just having fun and he was earning a lot of money. Everyone was happy. But then, fun became a full time job. My body couldn't take it anymore. Sometimes, I needed "help" to keep up with everything. Yoongi demanded more and more of me and, at a certain point, I wanted out. It wasn't me who was in dire need of money. I just enjoyed sex, that's it."
"Did he know you were also seeing his sister?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Well, of course. He was happy I kept her happy, too. As long as it didn't interfere with his work, he was okay with it." To me, it looked like he was trying to find the right words.
"In the end, Yoongi and I, reached an agreement, since I wanted to call out. He managed to convince me to participate only in private parties, where the revenue would be more consistent and I wouldn't have to work as much as before. He promised me I would quit as soon as he found someone else to replace me." He turned around, to look at me.
"Why did you accept? What made you say yes?" I asked him as I played with my hands.
"Because I was an addict, Y/n. My body craved sex, even if my mind said no. It was the amount of adrenaline rush I was after, even just for a few moments. I wasn't ready to part from it, yet." He went on.
"One night, Yoongi had organized a big party, in the outskirts of N.Y. I was given the room key, as always. We never knew who was on the other side. Secrecy was the top priority in this line of work. I opened the door and, for a moment, my knees gave in. To say I was totally shocked wouldn't even start to cover it. I thought I was hallucinating and I was waiting to come to my senses. My soul had left my body." He stopped the car, not being able to drive further.
"OMG...Was it your girlfriend?!" He shook his head as he laid his head over the steering wheel.
"No, Y/n, it was my mother."

p.s: who's ready for therapy?!

p.s.s: sorry guys, I know it's a bit twisted :*(

*spoiler alert: Kookie will fall down the spiral, once more but this time, he's not going alone