First and Last

Chapter 48

Bukas ay babalik na kami sa trabaho. Tapos na din ang durasyon ng leave ko kaya kailangan ko ng bumalik sa kumpanya. It was refreshing, actually. Nakatulong kahit papaano ang bakasyon sa akin. I met them again and found a new haven in their presence. The only thing I am sure of is that I don’t want this feeling to steal again. Not by anyone. This is my time and I am here to enjoy it.


“What’s your plan, Apo?” Lolo asked Arrow about his plan since we are now back together. Hindi naman maaaring kaligtaan na kilala siya at ang banda niya. Knowing what happened the last time, hindi na pwede pang maulit pa iyon.


“I will never let people to ruin this, ‘lo. Kami po muna bago sila.” he answered politely. “Who matters are those people like us who appreciate our happiness.”


Napangiti ako. Masyado ng hindi makabuluhan pa kung hahayaan namin na maulit ang ganoong sitwasyon. Who cares in other people’s opinion? They have their own happiness and so are we. Meron din kami.


We are planning to take it slowly. In private. Iyong kami lamang ang nakakaalm ng mga magiging ganap at mga mangyayari. We want to inform the public in where everything is fully polished na. Iyong wala na silang magagawa at masasabi dahil tapos na. They will left no choice except to accept us.


It was such a simple dinner for all of us. Kasama kong magbabalik sa Manila ang mga lalaki at si Lean. I am done packing my things. Ngayon ay kaunting pagtitipon ang ginanap sa loob ng mansion kung saan kami lamang. Looking at my grandparents, totoo pala na ang magiging kasangga mo sa lahat ay ang pamilya mo. They are since I was a child. Ulila sa magulang at tila isang sisiw na humihingi ng kalinga sa magulang. They are my mom and dad. I never felt that I was abandoned. Through their love, I am complete. More than complete.


Inisahang inom ko ang wine habang nakatingin sa sala namin. Tanaw ko mula dito sa veranda ang dalawang matanda na malamyos na sumasayaw sa musika. The lights are dim. Bagay na siyang nagbigay pa ng tamis sa paligid. The boys have their own world. May katawagan si Aelius. Kier and Hachi is together in the dining. Lean and Hercules are busy talking. Masuyong nakatitig ang lalaki sa kaibigan ko na panay ang kwento sa kanya. His eyes are in love.


“Hey.” agaw ng atensyon ni Arrow sa akin. He hugged me in the back after he sipped on his wine. “Care to share me your thoughts?”


I breathe. This is I want. His warmth and presence. Samahan pa ng kakaibang pakiramdam na siya lamang ang nakakapagparanas niyon sa akin. His breath touch my nape as he dip his head on my neck for a kiss.


“I just…” simula ko. “I am happy. You know…this is what I want. My Lolo and Abuela is happy. Your friends are here. Lean is smiling.” pagpapatuloy ko. Hindi siya umimik. Bagkus ay idinantay niya ang dalawang kamay sa barandilya at ikinulong ako doon habang nasa likod ko siya. “And now, tayo naman. This I what I longed for. Noong una ay hindi ko na ninais pa pero who would expect that we are back together now. Sabi ko ay kung hindi ikaw then I will not insist it anymore. I thought I can find this feeling in other boy’s presence. Someone who can make me feel like this.” I gasped. “But look…I was wrong. Only Arrow can make me feel this. Only Arrow can make me feel like I am complete… Only you can make me feel the warm of being in love.”


He licked his lips. I felt his kisses on the top of my hair. The moonlight shines on every tree as it silently dancing to the wind. My eyes wandered the quietness of our place. Tanging ang liwanag ng mansion ang nakapagpadadagdag ng sinag mula sa mga ekta-ektaryang bukirin. Natatanaw ko mula sa kinatatayuan namin ang kahabaan ng lansangan. Tahimik at payapa.


“Eunice is delusional.” he started. Patuloy lang ang paghalik niya sa ibabaw ng ulo ko at paminsan-minsang humuhugot ng paghinga. “She have this psychological disorder that I can’t name. I  already forgot it. Mula pa noong magkakilala kami, she tends to create scenario in her head in a way we go whatever she would said. And that’s our mistake.”


Humugot ako ng paghinga ng huminto siya sa pagkwe-kwento.


“She claimed me almost her everything. Her boyfriend. Her bestfriend. Her trophy. Her admirer. Even her stalker. I want to disagree and avoid her the moment she want me to introduce her to public as my fiance.” napatiim ang labi ko sa sinabi niya. “Her parents promised me to endure it until Eunice accepted to go to abroad for her medical. And you know the plotwist? She had a stalker. An obsessed one. Paanong hindi? Everyone likes her. Matalino. Maganda. Nakaka-angat sa buhay. Mahusay.”


I nodded. Noong unang kita ko palang sa kanya ay ganoon din ang nakikita ko. She became my role model in our profession. Mahusay at magaling sa larangan ng konstruksiyon. Bagay na gusto ko ay ako din. That’s why I was eager to learn from the experts. Not to be on top higher than her, but to be able to do what she can do on projects.


“Wala akong kinalaman sa pagsabog ng planta nila. It was them, not me.” yumuko siya sa akin at idinantay ang ulo sa kanang balikat ko. He rested his head ngunit hindi ako nakaramdam ng kahit na anong bigat niya sa akin. “Their plans went wrong. It was me who wants her father to manage their business until such time she will be recovered. Hindi ko naman mamanahin at mas lalong hindi ko naman aangkinin. I disagreed when her father said to me na ako na lang daw. My father offered them partnerships para kahit papaano ay maging patas sa lahat. Instead of me as their heir, partnerships sounds better.”


The music inside tuned up into a higher volume. Narinig ko ang pagbawal ni Kier sa bata na mukhang nangialam sa speaker.


“Unti one day, nandoon ako mismo sa planta nila. She thought I was there to accept her father’s proposal. It was my father’s order to inspect me the plant. She never thought a simple fire in one machine can bring down the whole plant into a massive fire. Her plan is to blame me for the fire. Her stalker did the whole destruction relying on what she ordered to him.”


Napahugot ako ng hininga. I didn’t know this. Buong akala ko ayy---


“And what happened?”

“Nahirapan ng makabangon muli ang negosyo nila. That’s why she became an employee in your company. When I saw how good her construction projects, I assumed she’s already cured.”


“Anong nangyari sa kasama niya?”


“He have his own family now. Wala na din kaming naging balita sa kanya pagkatapos ng nangyari. He bailed out of the prison dahil kagagawan din naman ng babae ang nangyari.” sunod-sunod ang naging sang-ayon ko sa kanya. Tiningala ko siya ng saglit at nginitian. “I never had a bet with her.” simula niya ulit habang nakatingin sa akin.


“I admit. I knew her plans all along. Hindi pa kita kilala noon. I didn’t know any single of information about you. Pangalan mo lang ang paulit-ulit na naririnig ko sa kanya. Until I met you in your house and our past relationship happened. Akala niya ay sinabayan ko siya sa plano niya. My only mistakes is that I didn’t clarify to her everything.”


“When she talked to me, I wanted to say a lot of things. Gusto ko ay layuan na niya ako. She’s not good for the both of us.” he raised his head on the night sky. “But, how can I do that when I saw how vulnerable she is? Pakiramdam ko ay nasasaktan na kita the moment of I will say things to her dahil paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi ang pangalan mo. I will never hurt the woman of my life. I will never hurt Elle at any cost. At any situation.”


He sobbed. Humarap ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang pisngi niya. “Shhh. It’s okay, love.”


He shook his head. “That’s not okay for me.”


“You know when we got separated. Noong nasa ibang bansa na kami. I want to go back here. Multiple times. Sadyang magaling lang talagang pumigil at mangonsensya ang mga g*go.” tukoy niya sa mga kaibigan niya. I giggled.


“Totoo ‘yung sinasabi ni Kier. Oa lang magkwento.”


“But I am thankful to your friends na pinigilan ka nilang bumalik dito.” I tightened his hands around my waist. “Kasi kung hindi ka nila pinigilan, we will not have this relationship again. Baka tuluyan na talagang natapos ang lahat noon sa atin.”


“Yeah. Kaya kahit papaano ay may pakinabang talaga sila.” asar niya sa mga kaibigan. Siniko ko siya at kinurot ng mahina. “Hercules and his advised. Kier and his promises na babalik ka sa akin. He actually telling me everytime you and him will have a video call. Pupwesto pa iyon malapit sa akin habang nakikipag-usap sayo. He told me not to cut my hair. Bitterness lang daw kasi iyon.” he stopped to catch his breath. “Si Aelius naman ay tahimik lang but I know he find ways to comfort me. He’s the most mature in our group. Aelius and Hercules.”


That night, I truly felt what a genuine and warm love is. I am happy for my grandparents. Hercules and Lean for their never ending love fight. Kier and Hachi’s bonding. Aelius and his presence.

Nang makabalik kami ay sa bahay ko na tumuloy si Arrow. Nagkanya-kanyang balik na ang mga lalaki sa bahay nila. Even Lean. I saw his eyes glistened when he roamed his sight all over the corners of my house. Nilagay lang niya ang nahubad na jacket sa sofa at yumakap na sa akin sa kusina.


“It’s feels good to be at your home again.” masuyong sabi niya. He sniffed my neck and hair bago ako pinakawalan.


Kinagabihan ay sa loob lang kami nanatili. He cooked. Ang saya pala sa pakiramdam na narito ulit ang presensiya niya. I never get tired watching his bare back while cooking. Nakatulala lang ako sa kanya hanggang sa natapos siyang mag-ayos ng lamesa. We ate. Nanood lang kami ng movie and enjoyed the heat of ourselves.


Tatandaan ko ng hindi kami para talaga makatapos ng palabas. We can’t watch even a half of its duration. Minutes later, we found ourselves touching each other’s body. Drowning our soul in never ending kisses. I can’t remember how he removed my clothes. All I know is to moan and call his name whenever he hold my waist to bang me on the wall.


“I never get tired loving you.” he murmured before my body shut down to deep sleep. Me too, Arrow. I will never exchange this love to any kind of things. You and you always.

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👷‍♀