Meant to be.

Too Early

⚠️TW- Self harm

Meredith's POV

I woke up before either Addison or Arizona. I can't believe I told them the secret about Ellis if she ever found out I'd be dead. As my thoughts spin in my head I can feel them getting overwhelming. I need to go for a run, it's the only way I can clear my head. Arizona and Addison are sleeping in the other room I saw them as I headed towards the front door. Why does this feel wrong I'm not doing anything wrong I can leave anytime I want.
I managed to open the door without any sound. The cold morning air hitting me in the face. I probably should have grabbed a jacket but I'll be fine.

An hour and a half later
I don't know how it happened but as I ran I ended up running back to Addison and Arizona's house. I had planned to just go home. I've got to go see my mum anyway, but somehow I found myself back at their door. I try to open it, I definitely didn't lock it on my way out, so I'm hoping. Yes it's open. The house is still quiet they must still be asleep, I mean I'm not suprised it's 5:30 in the morning and they have the day off. I quickly sneak in trying to find the shower, I smell like hell. There is a ensuite attached to Addisons room that I didn't see last night, good.
I wince as the hot water hits my back leaving red marks as it trails down, but it's what I have to do. The water stings as it runs over my arms getting into the fresh cuts I made yesterday. I still can't believe I let Addison and Arizona see them how could I be so idiotic, I'm never going to get away from them now. As I finish the shower the entire room is filled with steam, I find it slightly hard to breathe but it's fine. Crap I forgot to grab a towel before I came in here. I'm sure there is one in here somewhere. I start to open some of the cupboard I'm sure they would have one, as I open the cupboard about the sink I freeze, there is a box of blades in there. Thank god, I need the release. I quickly grab them and sit down on the ground abandoning my search for a towel. I can feel the stress escape my body as I pull the blade over my legs. I'm not that stupid I know Addison and Arizona will want to look at my cuts today and if there is new ones it'll be a whole other issue. They don't know about the ones on my legs. I'm careful this time not to do them to deep but I needed the release. As I finish I quickly grab another blade from the packet before putting the box back and sneaking back into Addison's room. It just then I notice a towel on my bed, Addison must have heard me in the shower whoops. I quickly grab it before putting my clothes back on from yesterday. I don't have any other clothes with me. I quickly hid one of the blades in my pocket before hiding one in one of Addisons drawer just in case.
As I enter the hall I can smell something cooking in the kitchen, ugh I don't want to eat.
I sigh before walking in the kitchen where both Addison and Arizona are chatting.
"Oh good morning Meredith," Arizona smiles looking up from what ever she was doing at the table.
"Morning," I reply quietly, just standing at the entrance. Addison turns around and I can see she cooking French toast, the smell is making me feel kinda sick.

Arizona's POV

When I woke up I could hear the shower running in Addison's room. At first I was confused because I could still feel Addison laying next to me but then I remembered it was Meredith. She wouldn't have a towel, I tried to get up without waking Addison but as I tripped on the shoe I left next to the bed I wasn't exactly successful.
"Are you ok Ari?" Addison asks as she quickly makes her way over to me.
"I'm fine Addie just tripped," I say using her hand to stand up.
"Are you sure?" She asks gently,
"Yes I'm sure, I went to get out of bed but tripped on my shoe." I say laughing.
Addie just shakes her head.
"Why where you getting up so early?" She asks checking the time.
"I woke up and I could hear Meredith having a shower, so I was going to get her a towel." I explain walking into the hall.
"Oh ok, I'll go start breakfast then seeing as we are all awake now," she says smirking at me
"I'm sorry I didn't meant to wake you up." I reply before disappearing into the laundry to grab Meredith a fresh towel. I enter Addisons room and the showers still going so I just put the towel on the bed I'm sure she will find it. Before joining Addie in the kitchen.

Addie and I just chatted until I saw Meredith in the door way her hair was still slightly yet, and I noticed she was wearing the same clothes as yesterday crap I hadn't even thought about that.
"Meredith honey, would you like to borrow some fresh clothes?" I ask gently, I don't want to startle her again, she look at me before nodding slightly, I swear I can tears in her eyes.
"Sure come with me." I say before guiding her into my room. Addie's to tall I think Meredith would swim in her clothes. Truthfully I think even my clothes might be a bit big on her but it's the best we got. I pull out a hoodie and some tracksuit pants but she just shakes her head at me.
"Um..sorry it's just um.. if I'm going to see um my mum I um need to be wearing um 'decent clothes'" she says using her finger to air quote decent clothes. Obviously her mother has told her off for not wearing nice enough clothing. I go back into the wardrobe and manage to find a top that's a bit small for me but it's got long sleeves and some trousers that have an elastic waist so we should be able to get to fit.
"How about this?" I ask holding up the set, she just nods
"Thank you," she says quietly, taking the garment out of my hand.
"Ok I'll leave you to get dressed I'm just in the kitchen if you need any help." I say softly. I want to check her cuts but I don't want to push her.
"Thank you." She says again still refusing to look up.

I re-enter the kitchen.
"How'd it go?" Addie asks as she plates up the food.
"I think I managed to find something that'll fit, I gave her sweats at first but she said she had to wear nice clothes to see her mum." I explain sitting down with a sigh.
It doesn't take long for Meredith to arrive in the kitchen. It's clear both pieces of clothing are too big for her but I definitely don't have anything smaller and there is no way Addie would, unless.
"Hey Addie did Amy leave any clothes here when she stayed last time?" I ask just realising that maybe Amelia's clothes might fit a bit better.
"Um possibly let me go check." Addie smiles disappears to her room, before emerging only moments later.
"She came in summer so it was mostly short sleeve tops and dresses but she did have this one pair of trousers." Addison explains holding them up. That could probably work the shirt I gave Meredith fit ok not great but the trousers where the main issue. Meredith silently took them from Addison disappearing again before returning wearing Amelia's pants which where still a tad big but they still fit.
"Here I'll take your clothes and the trouser and wash them." I say gently taking the pile of clothes from Meredith's hand. As I leave the kitchen I can here Addison helping Meredith sit down to have some breakfast. Hopefully she actually eats something this time...

Authors Note
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