Meant to be.

Weight

⚠️TW- mentions of weight and eating restrictions
            - body dysmorphia

Arizona's POV

I smiled as we sat at the table, just enjoying each other company, Meredith is sitting playing with Addie's hand while she drinks her milk
"Wona?" I heard Meredith say,
"Yes bug?" I smile looking at her,
"I a bit hungry we have breakfast?" She asks, and I have to hide the celebration on my face this is the first time she's asked for food.
"Sure bug what would you like?" I ask, trying to keep this moving,
"Apple and cinnamon," she answers almost absentmindedly, focused on something to do with Addie's fingers,
"Sure thing bug," I say standing up to get the purée I bought yesterday,

Addison's POV,
I can not believe Meredith just asked for food, I mean it's a good thing and it's amazing but wow, I smile as she moves my fingers around on the table I don't quite know what she's doing but she seems content so I'm happy to let her do it,

Arizona's POV

After breakfast, we are all sitting on the couch watching some tv, Meredith is sitting on Addie's lap enjoying the show and playing with one of the toys I bought yesterday. I was so proud she ate all of her breakfast and her milk, we should probably get dressed soon, I agree with Addie that's it's important to set up a structure, as I look over though, I fail to stop myself giggling at the sight,
Addison looks at me confused,
"I think all that excitement this morning as well as a full breakfast tired our little bug out," I say, and Addie looks down to see Meredith now fast asleep on her lap,
"Oh, I hadn't even noticed," Addie coos, shifting so Meredith's in a more comfortable position, "can you grab.." but before she can finish I've already passed her Meredith pacifier,
"Thank you my love," she says smiling, "should we take her back to bed?"
"Yeah good idea that was we can have a shower and get changed when she wakes up, here I'll take her," I say gently lifting Mer off Addison's lap,
"Thanks Ari," she says smiling,

Once we are all back in the bed, I can't help but smile at Meredith in between us,
"How are you feeling? This morning was a lot, a good lot but still a lot" I hear Addison ask,
"I um... I'm ok are you?" I answer honestly, she right, feelings and admitting our feelings is a big thing for all of us,
"Yeah I'm ok too, I'm relieved actually, I love you Ari, but I also think I love Meredith and to know your ok with that, that she's ok with it; it just makes me feel like I can breathe easier." She answers, and I know it's the truth,
"Oh Addie, I'm so glad, I think this is going to work it's really going to work, she wants to stay," I say smiling, and so does Addie, I watch as she runs her fingers over Meredith hair,
"I think we should make some changes, I mean we are all in the same bed most nights anyway maybe we should just get a larger bed and we can turn the other room into a nursery for Mer," Addie says smiling,
At first I'm not sure how to respond, she right it's a great idea, I don't know why it feels weird
"Yeah Addie I love that idea, which room?" I ask
"Your rooms a bit bigger," she says, "maybe we make your room the 'bedroom.' I can keep my stuff in my closet and we can put a wardrobe in there for Meredith's stuff, what do you think? She asks, and I can see joy in her face, she says I'm the one that gets excited but she does too,
"I like that, I also like the idea of getting a bigger bed, and a bigger blanket." I say laughing
"Yeah so you can hog more of it," she laughs,
"It's not my fault I get cold plus we've not got our own personal little heater, use her to stay warm," I say laughing, as I watch Meredith cuddle into Addie,
"You're right she is a pretty good little teddy bear." She laughs,
"If she's going to live here we probably need to start to address her weight then." Addie says after a moment,
"Yeah, let's see how she is when she wakes up." I say sighing, Addie's right we need to do something about it. Addie and I just lay there with Meredith hand in hand until she starts to stir,

"Hey bug, how you feeling." I ask, gently rubbing her back to help her wake up,
"Good." She replied sitting up between us, "thank you." She says,
"For what Mer?" I ask letting her sit up,
"For just letting me be, and helping me." She says smiling,
"You're very welcome, honey but you don't need to thank us, that's why we are here." Addie replied.
Meredith just smiled, I locked eyes with Addie and we both knew we had to mention it,
"Mer?" Addie starts but she doesn't say much more
"Yeah," Meredith replied
"Speaking of helping you, Addie and I are worried about something," I continued,
"Honey I know eating is hard for you but your very light, and we are concerned," Addie finishes,
I can feel Meredith tense beside me,
"I um... I no I'm not to skinny I'm too big, that's what my mum always told me." She replies,
"Meredith look at me, I think we need to get your weight but you don't have to know if you don't want to, we can find a way to get it without you having to see." I answer, holding her hand,
"I um.." she replies and I can see the tears in her eyes, I hate this I feel like we are hurting her but I also know if we don't do anything no matter how much we are able to help her nothing will change
"Honey, your a doctor, if you had a patient you where worried was underweight but they thought they needed to loose weight what would you do?" Addie asks,
"I" Meredith thinks for a moment then sighs, "I would probably refer them to psych  as that's normally a symptom of body dysmorphia, but I.." she goes to reply but stops herself, the tears threatening to fall from her eyes,
"Oh my love, I'm sorry, I know it's hard but do you think we could try and get your weight so Addie and I know how to best help you," I ask, gently squeezing her hand.
"I suppose." She mumbles,
"Thank you my love. Do you think you can step on the scales backwards that way you don't have to look at the scale?" Addie asks but Meredith shakes her head,
"I can no, I can't stand on it I'm sorry just the idea of it moving underneath me, moving under my weight no I can't I'm sorry." She says crying,
"Oh baby girl, it's ok, you don't have to cry." I coo, looking at Addison,
I can see Addison thinking, before
"I have an idea baby girl, what if I hold you and step on the scale, that way you won't feel it move, and we can still get your weight?" Addie asks
"Yeah ok," Meredith replied quietly,
"Ok my love, let have a shower, then we can do it after before we get dressed," Addie replied,
I'm really grateful she offered, I know we'd spoken about it but I don't know if it was something I could have done, weight has all ways been a bit if a touchy subject for me not as much as Meredith but after Elizabeth I found it hard at times to accept my body as it was.

***

After the shower, Addison weighed Meredith and then we all went to the lounge to watch some more tv, or Addie and I watched tv while Meredith played with some blocks on the floor.
"So?" I ask,
"If I'm being honest Zona I don't know how she got this far, Ari she only weighs 32kg (70lbs), if she got weighed at the hospital she would be immediately rushed up to psych and put on an involuntary hold with a feeding tube but that's not going to help her if that happens" Addison's says and I can nearly see the tears in her eyes.
"Oh Addie, what are we going to do, she starting to eat which is good but she's malnourished she needs more weight quickly, but giving her a feeding tube would ruin everything we've been able to do, it would send her flying backwards in her progress." I say
"I don't know, I might have an idea but I want to see what Meredith thinks first," Addison says, "Meredith honey can you come over here for a moment,"
"Weah," Meredith tilts her head looking at us,
"Honey do you think you could bring back big Meredith just for a bit we need to talk to you,
"Um... yeah." Meredith replied moving to sit between us, "is everything ok?" She asks,
"Meredith we are both so proud of you for letting Addie weigh you earlier but as we suspected you are super underweight honey." I start,
"And if you were a patient you would be given a feeding tube but we don't want to do that, so I have an idea." Addie continues, "we can get the stuff that would normally be given through a feeding tube prescribed still and you can have them as bottles during the day, replacing some of your milk?
I can see Meredith thinking,
"I um.." she starts but stops
"Ok." She says and at first I almost didn't hear it,
"Yeah you will?" I ask
"I'll try, I can't promise anything but I'll try, I still feel like I'm huge but some part of me also knows that, thats not true and that you and Addie wouldn't lie to me. So I'll try." She says looking at me,
"Good girl I'm so proud of you." Addie says pulling Meredith into her lap,
"So so proud of you," I add,
"Meredith you are exceptionally brave my love, and I'm so happy to get to calm you mine." Addie says hugging her,

Authors Note

Hears a new chapter, I hope you enjoy.
It's a bit of a longer one so I hope you enjoyed it.

As always please leave comments and ideas below