Meant to be.

Nursing

Arizona's POV

I feel awful it's all my fault, if I'd just kept my mouth shut she wouldn't have run away, and she wouldn't have ended up in psych, but I don't say anything, I don't want to worry Addie any more,

Meredith's feeding tube was inserted a few days ago, she was warming up to the idea of it, Addie and I had helped, I saw her start to stir on Addie lap,
"Good morning bug," I say smiling,
"Morning mamma," she says looking at me, and I love it, I love hearing her call me mamma,
"Morning mummy," she says looking up at Addie,
"Morning sweet girl," Addie coos, gently kissing Meredith's forehead.
We sat in silence for a moment letting Meredith wake up, as she did she noticed the tube on her face her hand immediately moving towards it,
"Leave it baby girl it's ok," Addie coos,
"It's to make be better" Mer says smiling
"That's right bug," I say proud of how far she's come in such a short amount of time,
"And if Meredith leave it and let the doctor feed Meredith, I get to go home with Mummy and Mamma," she says smiling again
"Correct baby girl" Addie replies,
"I love you mummy, I love you mamma," Meredith says after a moment,
"I love you too bug," I say smiling, and it hurts she loves me so much but it was my stupidness that hurt her,
"I love you too baby girl," Addie says

Addison's POV
I can see Arizona sitting in the chair next to me, she seems to be almost keeping her distance from Mer as if she's going to hurt her, I know she feels bad about what Meredith said but it's not her fault,
"Pumpkin, do you want to come sit with us on the bed?" I ask, reaching my hand out for her,
"No, um I'm going to get some lunch," she says and I sigh, I hope she's ok. I know she had an appointment with Dr Wyatt yesterday, so hopefully if somethings wrong she will have told her,
I feel Meredith shift slightly in my lap, moving off to the side
"You feeling big now?" I asked smiling, letting her sit on the bed, as I go to sit next to her she grabs my hand
"I am big but I still want you near." She says softly,
"Ok my love, no worries," I say, wrapping my arm around her,
"Meredith." I say
"Yeah?" She replies
"I just want to talk to you about something now I do not want you to be embarrassed or ashamed, but when you've been little the last few days you've been regressing quite young and you've been dry nursing," I say, gently running my finger over her arm, I can see her tense up as I talk
"It's ok honey I don't at all, please don't feel ashamed or worried or anything ok" I say
"Are you sure?" She asks looking up at me her eyes
"Meredith I would never lie to you ok, I actually kind of like it, it makes me feel connected to you," I explain and I can see her relax a bit,
"It doesn't hurt you?" She asks
"It just feel like a bit of pressure but I don't mind, I also wanted to bring it up because I wanted to know if you wanted to actually nurse, I didn't want to do it without your consent but it would be a good way for you to relax while still getting your weight up." I explain, running my fingers through her hair,
"You would do that for me?" She ask, here eyes opening wide,
"Meredith baby I would do anything for you and Arizona." I say,
"Then maybe yeah. I think I would like that, but only if you want to, I don't want to make you feel like you have to." She says
"No baby girl I want to, I'll talk to Dr Wyatt about how to go about it, never time I see her." I explain,
Just then there is a knock at the door.
"Come in," I say,
"Good morning Addison, Meredith." Dr Wyatt says walking into the room,
"Oh good morning Dr Wyatt," I say laughing,
"Whats so funny?" She asks
"Oh nothing I was just taking about coming to see here and up you pop." I say,
"Oh very well but I'll let you know why I'm here then you can tell me what ever it was you needed," she explains. "So I had a look at the food log you where able to get and Meredith I think I know why you've had so many issues with your eating, you've mentioned it before but I wasn't until I saw the food log and the patterns that I was able to diagnose it." She explains
"Diagnose it?" Meredith asks
"Well Meredith I think you have ARFID, Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder" she explains
"What does that mean?" Meredith asks grabbing a hold of my hand,
"It is classified as an eating disorder however it means you are more likely to be sensitive to taste, texture, smell or the appearance of food which leads to sensory-based avoidance. It's good that we know now as we are able to get to know your safe foods, one's that you like and won't make you feel sick, or worried or anything, and then Addie and Arizona can make you food that you will eat," she explains and it all makes so sense, I'm so glad we finally have a bit of a reason and a way to move forward,
"So I'm not making it up?" Meredith asks
"No, why would you say that?" Dr Wyatt asked concerned,
"When I was a kid, Ellis used to tell me that I was making it up and that the foods weren't making me sick," Meredith says quietly, and my heart breaks how could Ellis be that cruel, I also noted she called her Ellis not mum,
"Well Meredith ARFID is something would probably have always had, but I'd imagine between all the nanny's and childcare you where at as a child, it probably just got missed, or passed of as you being a picky kid," Dr Wyatt explained,
"Oh, yeah" Meredith said sinking back into the bed,
"It's ok, Meredith you've got me and Addie now," I say moving her into my lap,
"Bug do you want to nurse?" I ask as I see her soften as she regresses, she doesn't respond just nods, so I carefully pull up the blanket resting of over head making sure it wasn't covering her mouth before removing my shirt.
"So, I see the nursing is going well" Dr Wyatt remarks and I smile
"Yeah, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about..."

Authors Note

I hope you enjoyed this chapter

What do you think is going on with Arizona?