Meant to be.

Waking Up

⚠️- TW
     - Self-harm
     -panic attack
     -Very small reference to SA at the very end of the chapter.

Addison's POV

The sun streamed through the gaps in the curtains, as I woke the next morning. Pour a golden glow over both Meredith and Arizona, I could help but, smile, they both looked to beautiful and peaceful.
I didn't want to wake them we were in no hurry but as I stood to get up I felt Meredith's hand stop me, pulling my back, whimpering slightly as she lost the feel of my hand next to hers
"Shh shh, it's ok sweetheart I'm not going anywhere." I say laying back down beside her,

I lay there for about another 30 minutes for Meredith started to stir, in turn waking Arizona. As Ari woke up I could see her thinking, she never broke a promise, she made sure of that, she knew she would have to tell Meredith her story this morning,

Arizona's POV

I'd actually woken up before Meredith, I watched as Addie went to get up Meredith pulling her back into the bed, but I didn't want to get up, not yet, I wanted to enjoy the stillness of the morning a bit more.
It's not that I don't want to tell Meredith my story I do, sharing to her that we understand her pain is a vital part to her healing journey, but my story isn't a pleasant one by any means, and it's hard to tell.
I figured I best actually get up when I felt Meredith started to stir next to me. I was thinking of how I was going to tell Meredith about my story, as I sat up. I promised I would tell her and I never break a promise that is one of my biggest things, and I don't want to break the promise I want to tell her I just have to prepare myself.

Meredith's POV

As I woke up at first I was confused, I could feel people either side of me and I was holding someone's hand, but then I remembered. I remember last night Addie opening up to me about her story, I remember Addie showing me her scars, I remember Arizona holding me while I cried, I remembered throwing up, I remember telling them about not eating, I remember my mum screaming at me, I remember the cuts on my legs stinging. It all comes flooding back to me, it's too much to handle I can't. I feel my body starting to shake, I can feel the panic in my mind. I need to cut, I need that release, I need the release of pain. I shoot up in the bed, pulling hand free from Addisons. I feel trapped in the sheet, I feel suffocated, trapped by the people either side of me.

Addison's POV

The peacefulness of the morning is broken as Meredith wakes up, she jolts up in the bed pulling her hand out of mine, I don't quite know what's happening. Last night was so good, she seemed to really have a breakthrough. I knew it might not last, that for everyone inch we fought for there would be push back, but I had just hopped,
"Shh shh," I tried to gently calm her, resting my hand on her back but she jumped pulling away from me, I could feel her heart racing from the slightly contact I made.
"Meredith it's ok, we are right here it's ok," I heard Arizona say as she realised what was going on,
"No no, leave me alone." Meredith cried crawling off the bed, half tumbling to the floor,
"Hey hey, it's ok," I saw as she stands up, but before I can do anything she's run into the bathroom slamming the door shut.
"Meredith, honey," I call standing at the door, I know it's not locked but I want to give her the ability to try and open it on her own, I want her to know she can trust us that we are here to help her.
I can hear her on the other side of the door frantically moving stuff around. I'm extremely glad I moved the box of blades out of there yesterday along with the box she'd brought with her from home. I know that's what she's looking for. Arizona is now also standing next to me at the door,
"Meredith honey, can we open the door?" Ari asks beside me, after we once again don't hear an answer, I look at Ari before gently starting to open the door.
"Sweetheart we are coming in ok," I explain, leaving now room for argument. I carefully open the door not sure where she will be in the room.
My heart breaks as I see her bawled up in the corner of the room, knees to her chest.
My heart stops for a moment as I can see small lines of red on her arms, I swear I removed anything she could hurt herself with, my as I get closer I realise she's scratched her arms, opening the cuts from two days ago.
"Oh mer honey," I coo gently walking towards her,
"Can I hold you?" I ask sitting down beside her, and I feel her fall into my arms, I pull her so she's sitting on my lap.
"It's ok, hey, it's ok, I'm here, Ari's here sweetheart it's ok" I coo gently rubbing her back with my free hand,
Eventually I feel the tears stop and she looks up at me with big eyes,
"I'm sorry," she mumbles,
"There is no need to me sorry my love, you are completely fine. What your going through, what your dealing with is so incredibly hard," Ari says next me, gently taking Meredith hand in her own
"I just felt like I needed it, I needed the release, and when I couldn't find the blades, I..I...I needed it," she sighed dropping her head into my chest.
"It's ok, honey, it's ok," I coo,
"Your completely fine, you've been shutting yourself out from everyone and this had been your coping mechanism for I'm guessing a while, it's not going to go away over night," I say,
"How about we go out the couch, have a look at your arms and then figure out what to do from there," I say, and I feel her nod against my chest.
And so we do, I stand up carefully, Meredith still in my arms, and make our way to the lounge.
"Ok Meredith can I see," Arizona says gently, as I sit Meredith between us,
Meredith gently unfolds her arms, and I'm relieved it's not as bad as I had through originally.
"Thank you, Meredith that took an amazing amount of strength," Arizona says gently, once we've finished cleaning up her arms, she didn't need any new stitches or anything, just a fresh bandage.
"Both to tell us how you felt, and also to let us help, I'm so incredibly proud of you." She said smiling at Meredith.
"Thank you," Meredith said meekly smiling, "Ari?" She asked after a moment,
"Yes my love," Arizona said smiling,
"Will you tell me your story?" She asked, my breath hitched for moment I'd almost forgotten,
"Are you sure your ready, My love, I will tell you if you want, but my story is a heavy one, I don't want to upset you more," Arizona explained,
"Please Ari," Meredith said softly,
"Ok my dear," Arizona said softly, "first I want to know if you know what this means?" She asked, gently pulling town the side of the pj bottoms to reveal the Medusa tattoo on her hip...

Authors Note

Hope you enjoyed, I am going to hopefully upload the next update very soon which will have Arizona's story.
I just have to run a dance class then I will write it tonight.
I had planned to have it in this chapter but this ended up being longer than I had expected.

Hope you enjoy please leave comments and ideas.