Meant to be.

Silent Declarations

Addison's POV

I'm not sure what Meredith is going to say, I can see her processing what I've said, gosh I hope I haven't pushed her to far,

"I um..." Meredith starts but stumbles over her words
"It's ok honey take your time," I coo, gently
"She made me promise not to um tell anyone but I your right I don't want to um see her does that make me a bad daughter? But um maybe telling Richard could work, he and my mum where always close especially after um my dad left, I don't know Addie," she said looking at me her big eyes with tears threatening to fall down,
"Oh honey," I say reaching out to grab her hand, "first of all you are not a bad daughter by any means. I wasn't in that room with you but from what Arizona told me your mother isn't nice to you, especially now with everything going on but I suspect she never really was, yet you still go see her you where putting your own health at risk to see her." I explain, and she just looks at me nodding,
"Come here baby girl," I say bringing her into my lap, "I really think Richard will be helpful he can visit your mother and when your feeling up to it maybe we can all go see her, that was she's still being visited often but it's not at a cost to your health, it's not being selfish or anything like that before you start thinking that, sometimes you need to prioritise yourself and that's ok." I explain, "so?" I prompt gently leaning back
"You're right, I'm going to tell Richard but will you be there with me?" She asks
" of course my love, and Zona will to don't worry, we are here for you no matter what." I say smiling
"Thanks Addie," she says yawning
"Go back to sleep," I coo "Zona will be home soon and we can all do something together,"
It doesn't take long for her to fall asleep her head resting on my chest as I gently run my fingers through her hair

She sleeps the rest of the time Arizona is away, stirring slightly as the door opens revealing Arizona,

"How did it go?" I ask gently rocking Meredith in my lap to help her stay asleep,

"Good I got her a some clothes, and a few pacifiers, as well as some more sippy cups, some bottles, some children's cutlery and plates, and I did get some diapers and pull ups but we can just put those in the back of the closet for now I just got them just in case," she starts to explain, "I had a look at other things while I was there the cribs and high chairs are all pretty good priced, but we need Meredith weight for them so we get the right ones, but aside from that I also got just a few toys some crayons, and some pencils. Oh yeah and I also got her some purée I'm not sure if she'll like it so I just got a little bit of a few of the ones that I lik... that where suggested," she continues,

"Thank you ari, that all sounds perfect, she's so lucky to have you." I say smiling, "do you want some help?" I ask watching her pick up all the stuff and start to head towards the kitchen and bedrooms.
"No I'm ok, stay here with her, I'll be back in a moment I'm just going to drop this stuff off." She says smiling,
I can hear her rusting around in the kitchen before she returns, this time with something I can't quite make out in her hand.
As she sits down I notice it's a pacifier,
"This one is specifically designed for adults so it shouldn't damage her teeth or anything." She say, smiling down at Meredith.
"You are just too perfect." I say smiling, I don't know how she managed to have the time to research all of this but I don't know what I would do without her,
I watch as she carefully removes Meredith's thumb from her mouth quickly replacing it with the pacifier, we both sit for a moment not quite sure how she's going to react, but it seems to be ok.

"Has she been asleep the whole time I was away?" Arizona asks as she rests her head on my shoulder, and letting Meredith's feet rest over her lap
"No actually she woke up, and um she asked about Ellis," I say, reaching my arm around to gently run my fingers up her arm,
"Oh, is everything ok, what did you say?" Arizona asked worried, shooting up a bit to look at me
"She agreed to stop seeing her and tell Richard like we discussed," I explained, "she seemed to take it on really well," I smiled,
"I'm glad," Arizona said resting back against my shoulder, "where you ok?" She asked,
"Yeah I was, it shocked me a bit at first I was going to wait until you came home but she brought it up and I just tried to explain it, and to be honest ari, I think deep down she wanted that as well, I think she just needed someone else to tell her it was ok." I explain, half to Ari and half to myself,
"I'm proud of you," ari says, and I smile,
"Thanks my love." I say.

***
A bit later
Meredith's POV

I woke up and Arizona had gotten home, I felt so comfortable on their laps at first I didn't notice anything different but then I noticed something in my mouth, I didn't hate it but it felt different, I reached up towards and was slightly shocked when I saw it was a pacifier, had I been using a pacifier?

"Hey, sleepy head, don't worry if you don't like it you don't have to use it." I hear Arizona say as I study the  pacifier in my hand, I think for a moment unsure how I feel before allowing myself to relax and let comfort take over putting it back in my mouth, sitting up as I do.

"Hey, beautiful, how are you feeling?" Addie says, and I don't say anything a first, before removing the pacifier so I could talk.

"I'm ok," I say quietly,

"What do you think of the pacifier?" Arizona asks,

And I'm not quite sure, how to react I like it, I think but should I like it, I mean they gave it to me but what if they judge me for liking it,
"We don't mind either way, honey we just want you to be comfortable," Ari continues

"I think I like it." I answer,

"I'm glad." Addie says,

***

Later that night,

The three of us just spend the day together I even managed to eat both lunch and dinner, I didn't eat much and if I'm being honest dinner was just another sippy cup of milk but I ate lunch, Arizona has bought some purée, I actually really liked it I had the apple and cinnamon one it was delicious.

Arizona said she was tired so she's already in bed but Addie and I stayed up to watch a movie, I don't know why I feel so comfortable with them but I do, my whole life I've been taught not to ask for help and that if I can't do it on my own I'm weak but somehow I don't feel that way around them, they make me feel like it's ok to be honest and vulnerable.

"Ok, Mer I don't know about you but I'm tired, should we head to bed?" Addie asks,
"Yeah ok," I reply yawning, "can you help me? I feel tired." I ask trying to let myself trust her.
"Of course," Addie says with a smile,

It doesn't take long for us both to get changed, at first Addie goes to help me into her bed, but I don't want to I feel safe with her and Zona I want to sleep with both of them, so I quickly run into Zona's room climbing into the bed next to Arizona.
"You know you don't have to run away from me you can just ask," Addie says lying down next to me,
"Sorry." I say, I shouldn't have run but I wasn't sure oh I don't know,
"It's ok bug, go to sleep," she says smiling and gently kissing my forehead, normally she only called me that when I'm regressed but I don't mind, it makes me feel safe between her and Arizona's arms,
I rest my head into her chest as I close my eyes. Before I hear Addie softly talking to herself.

Addison's POV

As I see Meredith and Arizona lay next to each other in the bed, I can't help but smile, the soft moonlight reflecting of both their beautiful blonde curls, once Meredith is comfortable and asleep I can't help but reflect on the last few days, I need to let my thoughts out,
"Oh beautiful girl, I'm so glad I finally have you safe in my arms, ever since I saw you with Derek, I felt my heart longing for you,  both because I feared that Derek hadn't changed and because you where beautiful and I could see something in your beautiful eyes, a pain I hadn't seen in a long time, since I'd first met Ari, I hated seeing such a beautiful girl with that pain in her eyes, I loved you since I met you that day, and now here I am with you in my arms, and Arizona next to us, I couldn't be luckier."
I whispered to myself, it felt silly to declare my love but it had been eating me up inside and I couldn't not let it out,

Authors Note

Really hope you enjoyed this chapter, I apologise if there is any types my autocorrect has decided to stop working,

Please leave suggestions and ideas,

Do you think Meredith was asleep?
Is there something going on with Arizona?