Meant to be.

A week later

⚠️⚠️TW- self harm
      - restraints
      - mentions of suicidal ideation

One Week Later

Meredith's POV

I did eventually find my way to where I was going, I collected the cash I'd stored ages ago before I moved in with Addison and Arizona and found myself a hotel room.
I know they where probably worried, they have tried to call me several times but they will get over it and they will see how easy life is without me being there to burden them,
I have to go back to work today, I chose today as I know both Addison and Arizona have it off, meaning I shouldn't run into them,
As I get dressed I look at myself in the mirror, a mess of red lines stares back at me,
It hurt to much knowing I was such a burden I'd started cutting more than just my arms and legs, no where that wasn't visible when I wore my scrubs was safe, and now it was all cover in cuts.
I'd had to suture some of them back together, after I'd drunk a bit too much and cut too deeply. I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but if I was going to end it, I wouldn't end it here, no I will not be a burden to the house keeping staff.

As I walk into the hospital it feels different, I don't know how to explain it but it does, I wasn't meant to work today, I'm not meant to work any day that Addison and Arizona aren't working but it's fine I need to keep working, I'll just talk to the chief. I go straight to his office, knocking carefully
"Come in" Richard says and I walk in slowly,
"Meredith?" He says practically jumping from his seat, "Where have you been, Addie and Arizona have been worried sick about you?" He asks walking over to me, but I step back
"I just needed a break, I know I'm not scheduled today but I need to work, can I please work?" I ask
"Sure, um neither Addie or Arizona are working today so I don't know who's service you would be on but if you want to work you can, I'm so glad your ok." He says,
"Thank you Dr Webber, should I go and get my assignment from Bailey?" I ask trying to end this conversation
"Um no she won't have one for you let me check which attending doesn't have an intern today," he says going back to his computer,
"It looks like Dr Shepard is the only one who doesn't have an intern today, but I can swap it around.." he reads
"No it's fine I'll go with Dr Shepard" I answer before rushing out of the room, working with Derek is perfect I need a distraction and he's not going to go easy on me,

Richard's POV
I try to call after Meredith but she's too fast, she looks so thin, I immediately pull out my phone dialling Addie's number,

"Hello Addison talking." She answers, and she sounds like she hasn't slept in a week to be fair I'd image she hasn't,
"Addie she's here, she came back you and Arizona need to get into the hospital immediately she's here." I say,
"Wait Richard slow down, she's there, Meredith is there in the hospital?" She asks
"Yes she was just in my office I tried to speak to her but she ran off before I could. But she's working today" I explain, I then here Arizona voice in the background, it sounds like she crying
"Zona baby, she's at the hospital we need to go." I here Addison say,
"Thank you Richard we will be there soon." She says now talking to me.
"No worries," I reply as she hangs up, I hope she's ok.

Meredith's POV

I find Derek and he doesn't even seem to notice I've been gone for two weeks he immediately tells me about the surgery he has to do this morning, he lets me scrub in and I'm so happy something to keep my mind busy, the surgery goes well and we are standing in the scrub room when a wave of dizziness washes over me, I try and grab the sink to steady myself but miss suddenly feeling myself hit the hard floor beneath me
"Meredith get up." Derek demands turning around, "you have notes to complete." He says grabbing hold of my arm, he does it so suddenly I can't hold back the cry that escapes my lips as his fingers squeeze the fresh cuts from this morning. I freeze as he pulls back my sleeves revealing my arms covered in red cuts,
"Derek please" I start to try and explain but I can't get anything out before he pulls me to my feet dragging me behind him towards the elevator, I'm so confused, where is he taking me.
"Derek whats going on?" I cry as his fingers dig into my arm
"I'm doing something I should have done a long time ago." He replies, clicking the bottom on the elevators I'm struggling to get out of his grasp I don't even see what button he's pressed until he's dragging me out of the elevator, the psychiatric ward in front of us
"No Derek please, I'm not going to do anything." I cry fighting him but my strength isn't there I haven't eaten anything in nearly a week I'm powerless against him, I break down into sobs as he pulls be along basically dragging me at this point, suddenly I'm surrounded by nurses as I feel my feet leave the ground,
I can't comprehend whats being said but I hear words flying around,
"Risk to herself,"
"Combative,"
"Suicidal"
"Danger to others"
I try and fight the nurses as I feel myself being placed into a bed, my arms restrained at my side,
"Please don't do this," I cry, flailing my body around to try and get free, I don't like feeling trapped, I can't do this no, I feel something sharp then suddenly I feel my eyes start to get heavy,
"No please..Addie... Zona" I cry as I feel the darkness engulf me

Authors Note

What do you think?
Hope you enjoyed this chapter,
Poor Meredith,