Insensate.

31. No Longer Apart.

Two hours later.

∞

We still haven't left.

Sebastian laughed at me, he knew I was annoyed. Of course I was, we could've left earlier, but he kept asking dumb questions and admiring the House.

He decided to stop taunting me, now paying attention to Sir Bannarasee informing him about my childhood.

My mind wandered off, I caught Josephine standing right infront of the door, glancing at us from time to time. When she met my eyes, she scurried off. I got up, excusing myself, making my mind up to follow her.

She was fast, I couldn't deny. But with one quick timed movement, I grabbed her wrist and turned her around. "..Stop running away from me!"

She gasped, I stood firmly in front of her. A serious expression etched onto my face, "We need to talk, about us."

"There's nothing to talk about." She crossed her arms, matching my now angered expression.

I scoffed, grinning unenthusiastically. "Yes, there is. Would you mind telling me what the fuck your problem is?" Her eyes twitched, not used to me cursing.

My heart raced, my face burned with the anger that was now rising inside of me. I could feel the way my throat was tightening up, causing my words to choke up. I took a few deep breaths, not letting my emotions to overwhelm. And I spoke once I was ready enough to deliver my message. "You've always hated me, well, It always seemed that way. Why?"

She opens her mouth but closes it again when she realizes that she has nothing to say. Or rather, she has trouble expressing herself.

But I'm relentless, and fucking furious. "Most of our lives, you've never spent time with me. I was locked in my room, you practically didn't even know me. Even when we ate together, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you knew nothing of me! So why do you resent me so much? What have I ever done to you?"

She clenches her fists, tears swell up in her eyes. But she let's me speak, and for that I am grateful. "You look at me weirdly, but now.. You don't believe that I am capable of taking care of myself, and it seems like you're worried about me."

I huffed after getting everything out of my chest. She gnawed at her lower lip, before frowning at me. "Are you finished?"

I scoffed. Josephine released and calmed her tensed up fists, she almost looked dismayed, regret etched onto her face. "..I always believed that you had it easy. I mean, you didn't have to work like the people who had abilities. And yet, you complain."

I had to clutch unto my coat to refrain myself from interrupting her. I was so confused, how and why did she get that impression. Josephine complained, gaining the confidence, her voice got louder. "..It felt as of a Stranger was trying to take my parents away from me,"

My eyes widened, that was how she saw me? A stranger? Wow. I wasn't sure if I could blame her though, but it still hurt me somehow.

"You complain about no one caring about you, make demands about not wanting to hear nothing from your family despite the fact that they're now giving you attention." She screamed as she jabbed her finger against my chest. I could sense something, her Aura gave me the answer I needed.

She was jealous of me.
And that made no sense.
I should be jealous of her, not the other way.
I should be envious of her, and yet here she is, experiencing those two emotions towards me.

She grinned maliciously. "..To be honest, I do enjoy being the most favored child. I mean, who wouldn't? José is good, but he isn't as good as me. I was and would've still been the child that everyone dreamed of having and being." Her face darkened as she spat out all of her hate. "But then, everyone started thinking about you when you decided to leave, good, that didn't bother me because I didn't know you that well,"

She sighed, crossing her arms as she looked at me with a saddened expression. The tone of her voice was more silent, soft and yet it struck my heart harshly. "They started talking about you, forgetting about me. And José, although, he's always forgotten. Then, this thing with your abilities, I wondered, how did you manage to have all the abilities? It irked me."

"You resurrected someone, you were doing things in secret, all by yours, and yet you didn't think to inform your 'family'. You have their attention, they, I suppose tolerate you now, and yet you push them away? Tsk," she clicked her tongue, rolling her eyes. "I was annoyed, furious, someone like you has those abilities, and yet you make horrible and irresponsible decisions with them."

I clapped my hands, laughing but I was unamused. Disgusted and confused with how the tables turned. "You, jealous of me? Envious of me? How pathetic. I should be the one experiencing those emotions. You had a childhood, with your parents. Running around happily with them, plucking out flowers. They read you bed time stories, comforted you, bought you things, built snowman's. I didn't experience any of those, because I was busy trying to figure out if I had any abilities. And you're enviousness, jealous of me?"

I wipe my eyes, I don't want her to see me cry. I stepped forward, my voice low and threatening. "You see me as a stranger? Your younger brother? Didn't you see me when I was a baby? Or was I also a stranger then? You know what, fuck you. You are a self centered, close minded piece of shit. How stupid I was to think that I was actually starting to forgive you for your rude attitude! You disgust me! You, jealous and envious of me? Someone who was and still is the black sheep of this family?"

"See, this is it! You complain and complain, bark and bark. You're not the victim here, can't you think about something else? Have a personality, Gosh, all I hear is, blah blah, I was mistreated, blah blah, who cares?! Move on, instead of dwelling on the past! You have attention now, why are you still complaining?" She swung her hands around, cheeks reddening as she felt even more angry.

Wrath. That was definitely what I was feeling.

I spoke, people listened, but they did not understand. At least, they don't try to. You know how that is? It's frustrating. When people think you do everything for attention even though they don't even pay attention to you regardless. Oh, you are faking this, oh, you are overreacting. Well, I've had it.

I chuckled maniacally, My hands found themselves together, I scratched at my skin, staring right into her eyes. "Move on you say? I'm not the victim, you say? You believe it's easy to move on from the past, when it's constantly haunting you?"

She dismissed me completely, attempting to walk away from this argument. "I don't have time for this, you're immature and insensitive. Be grateful you finally have the parents you wished for," She said. I didn't expect it to turn out like this, for her to actually be a Egoistical brat.

"...You filthy, EGOISTICAL, WORTHLESS LITTLE BRAT!" I hollered aggressively, Rapidly, I put my fists up and punched her square in the face. I heard gasped behind me.

Her breath rasped in her throat and she shrieked out loud in sheer pain. Tears ran down her face, blood stained the floor that dripped out of her nose. "... I hope I made myself clear!!"

Don't hit people. It's just wrong, but in this case, I couldn't care less. She dismissed the years of neglect I experienced, she acted as if I had no trauma, and she compared me to a stranger, even though I was her brother. So, she deserved it.

I turned around, Mother, Father, José, and Sebastian and Sir Bannarasee stood there.

José.. Heard that? The way Josephine thought of him? My heart ached for him.

I glared at those who called themselves my parents. "You disgust me! How dare you call yourselves our Parent's? You are pathetic, Look at what happened to us! We're broken, all of us. Now, you act as if everything is fine, as if we were all alright."

"We are not!" My voice cracks, tears run down my face, I sniffled. "W-we are not!! And we never will be!" My mother covered her mouth, eyes wide, Father's hand held out to me, desperate to get me to his side.

I declared loudly, garnering the attention of my cousins, uncle, and my grandparents. "From now on, and henceforth, I declare that I am no longer a Howell, no longer a Guerrero. I am Joseph, nothing more, and nothing less."