Hatchetfield.

Playing Favorites

It's common knowledge that gods pick favorites, and the Lords in Black were no exception. Wiggly loved fucking around with the Fosters, Hannah especially (though Webby always managed to butt in and ruin his fun, that bitch), Blinky found the Woodward's family drama his new favorite thing to watch, Pokey was quite fond of Paul and his cute lil barista (they harmonized so well together, after all), and Tinky...

Well. Maybe Tinky had a bit of a hoarding problem-it isn't an addiction, he swears! It isn't his fault the Spankoffski brothers were just so entertaining! Really, who could blame him for loving his favorite toys so much that he just wanted more and more and more to play with?

Ok. Maybe he was a little obsessed. Just a little bit!

Wiggly...didn't seem to understand just how deep this Spankoffski hyperfixation went, which is why he found himself getting rubix cube after rubix cube thrown at his head.

"You promised you wouldn't kill him, Wiggly! I'm the only one who can hurt my Teddy Bear! You broke him!"

There's absolutely nothing in this world that Tinky hated more than a broken toy. He made sure to take care of his, he promises! Sure, maybe their minds had a few cracks, but that's just part of all the fun games they got used in. But broken? Permanently broken?

That was just too far.

"Tinky, you have thousands of other Teds. Surely losing one won't make any difference?" Wiggly sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between nimble fingers.

Tinky just glared, crossing his arms like a toddler about to throw a temper tantrum. Actually, this is basically what this was, really-an eldritch temper tantrum. "You could've asked before you blew him up! That one was special!"

"He's just like every other Ted, what makes that one so unique?"

Tinky thought for a minute, attempting to come up with a good defense. He came to the conclusion that there was absolutely nothing remarkable about that specific Ted, but continued the argument regardless. "He just is, ok?"

Pokey cleared his throat, stepping up beside Wiggly. His expression was flat, unamused. "T'noy, you are making a scene over nothing-you'll forget about this within the hour, just like you did the last two hundred and fifty-seven times."

Gaze shifting to The Singular Voice, the bastard's eyes narrowed. "You'd have the same reaction if he killed off one of your Pauls-which he did, by the way!"

A loud, overdramatic gasp found its way from Pokotho's mouth, and he clutched at his heart (or, at least, where his heart should be. Did the Lords in Black have organs?) looking absolutely scandalized. "Wiggog, you didn't."

Rolling his eyes at his annoying little brothers, Wiggly just groaned. "You're all too attached to your little mortals, brothers. They'll die on their own anyway, did you forget?"

"Not if I can help it..." Tinky muttered. He'd keep his Teds and Peters alive for as long as possible, screaming and wailing in his box for all eternity. Now that sounded like fun!

"You say that like you aren't overly attached, Wiggs," a new voice chimed in. Blinky was sitting in the back with Nibbly, sharing a large bowl of popcorn. Well, maybe sharing wasn't the right word. Blinky only actually ate a few pieces, the rest of it was going straight down Nibbly's gullet. "What about Lex and Hannah, huh? What if I sent them to Watcher World for a bit?"

Now it was Wiggly's turn to gasp. "You wouldn't dare, Bliklotep."

Blinky raised an eyebrow. "Says who?"

"I WANT A NEW TEDDY BEAR TO MAKE UP FOR THE ONE YOU BROKE!" Tinky interrupted, throwing another rubix cube at Wiggly, who ducked. The cube hit Pokey instead, leaving a crack in his precious mask.

"How dare you, you little-" Pokey lunged for Tinky, who grabbed Wiggly and put him between the two of them like a human-er, um, godly shield.

Blinky snickered, pulling his phone out to film the entire thing, while Nibbly grinned and threw a handful of popcorn at his brothers. He didn't have a favorite mortal, so they had nothing to use against him. All humans were the same to him-just another little snack.

Meanwhile, Webby watched from the shadows, sighing. How was she related to these people??