Hatchetfield.

The gal who didn't like musicals

[ENSEMBLE]
Ooh, ooh

[NORA & ENSEMBLE]
The greatest stories ever told (Ooh...)
Have a hero who must be bold (Ooh...)
They learn a sense of right and wrong (Ooh...)
And better learn the sense through song (Ooh...)

[TED & ENSEMBLE]
Musicals tell the impossible (impossible)
They evoke the philosophical, yeah!

[CHARLOTTE]
So tonight we're gonna chronicle
A story so astronomical

[ALL]
The last remaining story to tell

[NORA & ENSEMBLE]
The gal who didn't like musicals (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
I mean, what the f*ck! (didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
She's the gal who didn't like musicals (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
Yeah, what the f*ck? (didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)

[SAM]
In the tiny town of Hatchetfield
Lived an awful grinch named Emma

[ZOEY]
Spends her day surfing the web
And not singing and dancing with us all

[ALL]
Should we kill her?
Should we kill her?

[PAUL]
Oh, she's pined for by a cute lil, barista
Isn't that worth a show-stopping fiesta, yeah?

[PROFESSOR MCNAMARA]
But for some damn reason
She won't join our singing season

[NORA, SAM & ZOEY]
What an ass!

[NORA, SAM, ZOEY, TED & PAUL]
What a bitch!

[ALL]
What a co-ock!

[NORA & ENSEMBLE]
The gal who didn't like musicals (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
I mean, what the f*ck! (didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
She's the gal who didn't like musicals, na-na-na-na-na-na-na (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na (didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em

It's the end of the world, Emma (end of the world)
If you don't sing (if you don't sing)

[ZOEY & ENSEMBLE]
This is the bridge, Emma (this is the bridge)
Where we globalize everything

[PROFESSOR MACNAMARA]
And the words will come to you
We swear we will teach you

[ALL]
What it means to love
What it means to obey, Emma!

[NORA, spoken]
The apotheosis is upon us

[ALL, spoken]
Yay!

[NORA & ENSEMBLE]
Did you hear the word?
What's the word?

[NORA & TED]
She's a-comin'

[ENSEMBLE]
Who's a-comin'?

[NORA & TED]
Emma's a-comin'

[ENSEMBLE]
Emma's a-comin'?

[ALL]
The star of the show

[Charlotte]
Now for her headlining entrance

[PAUL & TED]
Time to swoon at her leading lady essence

[SAM & PROFESSOR MACNAMARA]
Her name is in the title

[NORA & ZOEY]
She's destined to go viral
Here she is, her name is Emma