Hatchetfield.

A Spankoffski Christmas

It was December 24th and Peter was in the midst of laying out the Spankoffski Christmas decorations around Ted's apartment. He had stolen the box from their parent's house last week, very well knowing that no one would notice it had gone missing. He assumed his parents hadn't put up Christmas decorations since Ted was a kid, because everything he pulled out of the box was completely unfamiliar to him. Most of the objects were coated in a thick layer of dust which Peter wiped off with a small cloth.

"This one's nice." Steph remarked from her spot beside him, holding up a tall, green nutcracker with a shock of black hair shooting out at odd angles. She grinned,  "Kinda looks like you."

"Psh-" Peter remarked, wishing he had a better comeback, "Do you think I should put some more garland on the tree?" He looked back at the $20 Christmas tree he had bought in front of the supermarket. Its eight limbs were already struggling to support the dozens of red and green ornaments Steph had brought over. Steph stood and walked over to inspect the tree, "I don't know if the little guy could take too much more."

"Yeah I guess you're right." Peter stood, "I'd feel a lot better about it if you let me tie on a brace."

"And miss out on Ted having to clean up twenty broken glass ornaments? No way."

He walked over and hugged her from the side, "Alright, but when he forces me to do it I'm blaming you."

She smiled up at him, "Deal."

The pair leaned in but were quickly interrupted by Ted loudly bursting through the front door. A wave of cold air washed into the room. He barked, "Cold one out there." He took note of Peter glaring at him as Steph's hand lay on his chest, "Oh, ho, ho!" He laughed with as much sleaze as he could muster, "Sorry, didn't realize I was interrupting a make out sesh."

"Jesus Christ, Ted. Would you shut the door?" Peter responded, evidently miffed.

"Oh. No, 'welcome home big brother'? No, 'thank you for working so hard in the cold to provide for me'?"

Peter felt the desire to remind Ted that he actually paid for most of the groceries with his tutoring money, and that Ted worked in the tech department of a very well-heated office building, but he refrained. Ted walked past Pete and Steph to the kitchen, pausing for only a moment to ruffle Peter's carefully combed hair.

Peter sighed, frustrated. "C'mon man, really?"

"Sheesh, sorry!" Ted said, in a tone that conveyed nothing of the sort.

Peter released his hold on Steph and they walked over to the cheap green couch in the back corner of the apartment. "Your brother's a dick." Steph stated.

Peter attempted to lighten up, "Ah, c'mon, he's not that bad once you get to know him."

Steph raised an eyebrow before turning over her shoulder, "Hey, Ted!"

He poked his head out of the refrigerator, mouth full of food, "Yeah?"