Hatchetfield.

A Spankoffski Christmas Part 2

As the bright red sled flew away into the night sky, Ted Spankoffski finally regained his ability of speech. "Oh, when I get my hands on that little motherfucker-" Steph pulled the Christmas lights he was tied down with out of the ground with decent effort. "Who the FUCK does that selfless little bitch think he is?JESUS?!"

"Ted!" Stephanie shouted, "Shut up! Pete's missing. We've gotta focus."

"Maybe, this is part of my THOUGHT PROCESS!" Ted roared.

Steph rolled her eyes as she undid the last string of lights and Ted jumped up to begin a fervent strain of pacing.

"We have no idea where he's going, he could be halfway to Malaysia by now!" He shouted to no one in particular.

Steph sat, leaning against the chimney, and presumably thinking. If they were ever going to find Peter she was the one who would have to come up with a plan. And she hated it. If Peter was here he'd already have one. He was the brain, not her. If he died-

Steph couldn't shake the feeling that this had all happened before. Not even two months ago Peter had sacrificed himself for her and she'd been the one who fucking shot him. The only reason her clever and cheery boyfriend wasn't dead was a demonic football player with a half-baked grudge who wanted to kill him in a more embarrassing fashion.

This time around she'd been the one with a gun to her head and somehow Peter had still managed to take the bullet. Steph shook her head. She needed to stop wallowing in self pity if she ever wanted to come up with a halfway good enough plan to save Pete.

Ted knelt down beside her, she hadn't realized he'd stopped walking. His voice was more gentle than she'd ever heard it before, "Steph, you've gotta help me here. You must know what to do."

Stephanie scoffed, being angry at Ted was much easier than thinking of a plan, "Why 'cause your small mind couldn't think of a good idea if it had a month?"

"YES!"

Steph covered her eyes and ears, hoping that by removing distractions she could force her brain to think of something. She thought about the sleigh, she thought about the beginning of the night, and she thought about Peter. After several minutes a cartoonish lightbulb went off in her head and she lifted her phone into the air, "I've got it!"

Ted looked back at her in mustachioed surprise. "What?"

Steph opened the maps app where she'd been storing the addresses for the upcoming houses. She scrolled down to the fifth stop on the list. "You know how Pete's got that super memory thing? I'll bet he memorized the present route so he could get the right gifts laid out. He's probably  taking that Wiley-dude on this route!"

Ted looked on in confusion, "Why would they stick around in Hatchetfield? Couldn't they spread the Wiggly doll worldwide?"

Steph paused for a moment, "I dunno, I think it has to do with all that Waylon stuff around here. Maybe this is where they're most powerful- or something-"

It was definitely a gamble. They had no clue whether or not Uncle Wiley would follow Peter's direction or if he'd even stay in Hatchetfield. But at the present moment it was all they had to go on.