Hatchetfield.

Incorrect Quotes - 2

Daniel: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.
Hannah: Seize the day, seize the night, what's the last one?
Daniel: Seize the dick.

Tinky: Anything else?
Ted: Yeah. Stay away from me!
Tinky: Alright. See you in the room we share.

Emma : You look good in that hoodie.
Paul: You know where else I'd look good?
Emma , zero hesitation: My bed.
Paul, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Grace: Wow, Max, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.
Max: We literally slept together yesterday.
Grace: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Paul: What are you in the mood for?
Emma: World domination.
Paul: That's a bit ambitious.
Emma: You are my world.
Paul: Aww...
Emma:
Paul:
Emma:
Paul: OH.

Peter: I fell—
Stephanie: From heaven?
Peter: No, I literally fell—
Stephanie: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Peter: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Stephanie: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Hannah: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Daniel: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
Hannah: Holy moly-

Bill : Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

Alice: Here's the cold medicine you asked for.
Alice: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*
Bill : ...Thanks.

Wiggly: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.
Webby: ...what happened?
Wiggly: I made a VERY bad mistake.

Lex: Sweet dog you got there.
Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog.
Lex: Still training huh?
Police: What do you mean?
Lex :
Lex : Never mind.

Paul: I've never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

Paul: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.
Emma: Marry me.

Emma: I like your new pants!
Paul: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Emma: I'd like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Paul: The store can't just give away clothes for free.
Emma: Thats's... not what I meant.
Paul: That's a terrible way to run a business, Emma.

Ethan, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?
Hannah: Lex's in the kitchen.

Lex: Know why I called you in here?
Ethan: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
Lex: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Max: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?
Grace: Nope, there's 26.
Max: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.
Grace: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.
Max: You'll get the D later ;).

Peter, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?
Stephanie, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.

Stephanie: Yeah, I don't like people.
Solomon: Oh, well now that's not fair Stephanie. Have you met all of them?
Stephanie: I've met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

Stephanie: Let me copy your homework.
Peter: I was gonna copy yours.
Stephanie: Well, shit.
Peter: Guess I'm not doing it.

Grace: If I die, you can have what little I own.
Stephanie: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die?
Grace: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full.
Stephanie:
Stephanie: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again.

Hannah: Daniel... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Daniel: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Hannah:
Hannah: I wrote sanitize, Daniel

Ethan: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn't anyone around to help you? What if it's congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?
Lex: ...You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Bill: So... what's goin' on?
Alice: You want the long version or the short version?
Bill, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?
Alice: Shit's fucked.
Bill: Oh. Well, yeah, that's definitely not an optimal situation.

Paul: It doesn't have a bone.
Emma: Then.........why......is it called a boner??

Paul: We have a problem.
Emma: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Deb: Alice , you love me, right?
Alice : Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.

Tinky: Strawberry milk doesn't taste like strawberry OR milk.
Ted: Go the fuck to sleep Tinky.

Tinky: When was the last time you cried?
Ted: Uh 15 minutes ago, why??
Tinky: really? That recent?
Ted: Yeah *voice crack* is that a issue? *starts crying again*

Ted: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*
Paul: You can't just skip to the happy ending!
Ted: I don't have time for their problems.

Ted : So, how long have you and Pete been together?
Stephanie: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Pete and I are not together. No. No.
Ted : Really? Sixteen 'nos'? Really?

Stephanie: Well, remember when Pete made a romantic dinner for me?
Ted : Stephanie, he microwaved you a pizza.

Stephanie: As top in this relationship, I think we should-
Peter: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Lex: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.
Ethan: You're very hot, and I still eat you.
Everyone at the table: *silence*
Hannah: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!
Daniel: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

Lex: Ethan! I can't do this stupid math!
Ethan: What's the math problem?
Lex: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.
Hannah, covering Daniel's ears, while Ethan smacks Lex upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.

Hannah: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter "s".
Daniel: *looks over at Ethan and Lex*
Daniel: Is it "sexual tension"?

Grace: So anyways have y'all seen Stephanie?
Ruth: I think they went in Peter's room 'studying'.
Richie: Doubt that. I heard groans there.
*Meanwhile in Peter's room*
Stephanie & Peter, fighting: