Hatchetfield.

Incorrect Quotes. - 3

(This one will mostly be about: Daniel/Stopwatch, Hannah, Lex and Ethan)

Ethan, about Lex: Can I tell her she looks nice?
Hannah: Sure.
Ethan: Can I tell them I respect her?
Hannah: Maybe, if she asks.
Ethan: Should I show her an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?
Hannah: ...
Hannah: I'd save that for later.

Hannah: But what about Daniel? He was my SOULMATE!
Lex: You said that about a ball of yarn once!

Ethan: We're getting married, bitches!
Lex: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

Ethan: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Lex a little bit.
Daniel, holding Ethan's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Ethan: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Hannah: My mistake.

Ethan: So you're dating Hannah?
Daniel: What? No! I'm just buying them an accessory since they have terrible fashion sense.
Ethan: That's literally a wedding ring.

Ethan: I know you love them.
Hannah: I am not in love with Daniel!
Ethan, staring at Hannah: I—uh—I never said who...
Hannah: *realizes*
Hannah: Shit. Well, anyways-

Lex: How do I make a date really romantic?
Hannah: Be mysterious.
Lex: Okay!
*later, while on a date with Ethan*
Ethan: So where are we going?
Lex: None of your fucking business.

Hannah, joking: Talk dirty to me~
Daniel: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.
Hannah: Wha-
Daniel: The economy is in shambles.

Hannah: Okay, but if you don't like me then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I'm your boyfriend?
Daniel: Dude- Its satire!
Hannah: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

Hannah: We should be partners.
Daniel: You mean like, partners in crime?
Hannah: Yeah... that's precisely what I meant.

Lex : Bro-
Ethan: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Ethan: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Ethan: What do you want to be for Halloween?
Lex : Yours.
Ethan:
Ethan: ...yeah, that would be pretty scary.

Lex : I have feelings for you.
Ethan: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Ethan, sweating: Lex , there's something I need to ask you-
Lex : Finally! You're proposing!
Ethan: How'd you know?
Lex : Ethan, you've dropped the ring five times during dinner.
Lex : I even picked it up—like. Once.

Lex : My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Ethan: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Lex : That one. I want that one.

Lex : I'm in love with you.
Ethan: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Lex : I know.
Ethan: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Ethan, trying to flirt with Lex : I think both of our families suck.

Ethan: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore

Hannah: Are we fighting or flirting?
Daniel: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Hannah: Your point?

Lex: Stop doing that.
Ethan: Stop doing what?
Lex: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you

Hannah: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Daniel: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Hannah: Stop.

Lex: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

Lex: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Ethan: It was autocorrect.
Lex: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Ethan: Yes. Always be aware of autocorrect.

Ethan: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Lex: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Ethan: Yes.
Lex: I'd sleep.

Daniel: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Hannah: Peonies, why?
Daniel:
Hannah: Were you going to get me flowers?
Daniel:
Hannah:
Daniel: ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Hannah: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated!
Lex: Killed without hesitation.

Lex: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)
Hannah: What's that?
Lex: Remorse code.
Hannah: I'm even angrier now.

Girl Jeri: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?
Hannah: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.
Hannah: ...
Girl Jeri: ...
Lex: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS WHOS NEXt-

Hannah: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.
Lex: Those are wanted posters!

Lex, to Ethan and Hannah: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
*silence*
Lex: Damn, y'all depressed as fuck!
Hannah: You didn't clap either-
Lex: SHUT UP!

Lex: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup?
Hannah: The afterlife...
Ethan:...I guess.

*the TV is freaking out*
Lex: Don't worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support.
*unplugs the TV, then plugs it back in again. nothing changes*
Lex: Yeah, that didn't work with my grandma either.

Hannah: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?
Daniel: It's a book. There's a lot of those in here, this is a library.

Hannah: Screw lactose intolerance! I will consume as much dairy as I want!
Hannah 2 hours later, crying on the floor: WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!

Hannah: The wee-woo thingy?
Lex: THE FIRE ALARM!?

Lex: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?
Hannah: ICARUS?

Lex: How would you like your coffee?
Hannah: As dark and as bitter as my soul.
Lex, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

Lex, texting: Hannah, will you please go to sleep?
Hannah, texting back: What makes you think you didn't just wake me up?
Lex, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!
Lex, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin' to sleep soon?
Hannah, texting: I'm trying
Lex, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH
Lex, texting: Okay, don't stay up too late or you'll be cranky :)