Who Would Have Thought?!

Ch.52

—Katsuki's POV

Am... am fucking nuts!

I completely fucking lost it!

What the actual fuck was I thinking?!

I was suppose to not see him when I opened my eyes but he was still there then... then I...

I fucked up!

I can't let some fucking shit get between Izuku and I!

How the fuck can I be there for him when something happens if I can't even a keep my mind in the right reality?!

Fuck... fucking damn it...

I, I need to pull it together... I really do, for Izuku and I.

For us.

I can't fucking do this, I can't seriously fuck everything up just because my mind is weak, I can't fucking do this!

Am not fucking allowing it...!

Shit... Izuku.

I... I need to...

I lost my fucking mind.

Shit...

—Author's POV

Bakugo knew he messed up, but he also knew he can't do a damn thing about what he had already allowed to happen.

So he pulled himself up from the floor and shut the door and lock it.

He stroll back to his room and hide under his blanket as the abyss of his dreams and sickness swallowed him up as a whole.

But he couldn't do a damn thing about that either.

And worst was.

Whenever he drifted to the shore from the infinite ocean of his dreams he felt happy there, dreaming about what had happen.

Continuing it in his sleep.

Anything that relate to Midoriya made him happy.

Once awake though, it took him a few good  seconds to scold himself that it was the worst possible thing he could have possibly done.

And he reminded himself that he needs to be healthy for Midoriya, so they can be together and they can be happy.

But no matter how many times he scold himself.

He felt happy whenever he remembered that he came to him.
It just felt so real he couldn't help it.

And his words were like drug.

After all, it was all his mind creation, so it said the exact things Bakugo wanted to hear deep down.

He wanted Midoriya to acknowledge him, miss him and to want him... and all that happened.

So, it was reasonable why he couldn't help but be happy.

He found Midoriya overly attractive as well as intimidating but that all felt like cherry on top.

But he really knew he had a huge problem when he got a hard on by his own hallucination as he kept thinking how good the curly green haired teen looked, and how that angry look fit him quite well.

So of course he turned into a sobbing mess once he was done moaning a certain teen name over and over again in his room.

Although he couldn't help but feel relieved as his mind didn't play tricks on him for the rest of the night.

While his reality was clean from his mind sickness, the dream land he would drift off to was a different story, a completely different one where everything could happen.

As it's also a place where he doesn't have to worry about anything or anyone and could enjoy it all.

...his little secrets on his own little dream land.