It Makes Me Mad, Knowing You're Sad (BoyxBoy Kohnnie)

Chapter 26: depressed?

A/N
sorry I haven't updated in what seems like forever, but I've been busy. Just Kidding! I have been sitting on my except when I had to go to summer school. Good news this week is my last week of summer school. So thar means more updates! Also Guys DM me if you need anything. Also I will reply to some of the comments before I go to bed. <3 OK continue doing your thing.

Kyle's POV:

"Oh..." I said. I forgot about the roof top thing before he mentioned it. "You probably are wondering what I was doing or what I was thinking, aren't you?" I said knowingly.

Johnnie nodded and laced his fingers with mine. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and said, "I just want to understand, but if you don't want to talk about it... its fine. I just want you to know I'm here for you." He said with tears welling up in his eyes. I can tell this is hitting Johnnie hard. I can only imagine what he's thinking.

I took a deep breath and said with a shaky voice, "OK so I was talking to Bryan and he said something about people won't always accept me and to be careful. I already felt with depression and I thought I was over with that, but here lately before warped it has seemed to come back in a way. hearing Bryan say something like that and me coming to the realization that he's true. Hit me hard. His words have been constantly circling around my head. It was too much for me to handle, All the worries. I couldn't deal and I almost broke." I began to cry and Johnnie came to my side of the table. He hugged me and told me everything would get better. I cried into his shoulder. I feel imbarassed though. I don't like crying in front of people. It makes me feel weak, but at the same time crying feels like such a relief.

"Baby, don't cry. It'll get better. I promise. Stay strong. Sure there will always be people who won't accept you, but you know what? That's a part off life. You just need to keep being you and don't give up. I love you." Johnnie said while wiping away my tears as I calmed down. I was still hugging him and quite frankly I don't want to let go.

"Johnnie, I know it's a part of life but its still so hard to deal with." I said while looking down.

"Kyle, it'll be OK. I know how you feel. I've been depressed and I've dealt with people not accepting me. I just have learned to ignore them. Their opinions dont matter. Also Kyle ... I have one more question for you. " Johnnie said sincerely.

I nodded at him to tell him to continue. "OK ... Umm... why were you on the ledge?" He said while trying to choke back tears.

"OK. I kind of left that out. So you know how I've been depressed lately. Um I kind of left out how I have these thoughts. These thoughts tend to be negative. But they get worse when im alone...sometimes even suicidal. So if you haven't connected the dots yet. I-I was thinking about how e-easy it would be to end it all." I said trying not to show emotion. On the inside I was breaking down, but on the outside I try to look emotionless or like I don't care. I have learned to mask my emotions well.

"Nothing is worth taking your life Kyle.  Nothing and I mean nothing. So many people care about you. You are fucking amazing. Just remember life's a bitch, don't quit. I love you." Johnnie said and gave me a big hug.

"I love you, too. And thank you." I said and gave him a kiss.

"Why are you thanking me?" Johnnie said with a smile.

"For always being there for me and not giving up on me. For actually caring and not telling me to suck it up. Or saying im being a whiny bitch or seeking attention. most of all for being in my life and being you." I said shyly.

Johnnie smile widely and gave me a passionate kiss. Our lips moved in sync. It was amazing.

For the rest of the day, we finished up what we needed to do for warped that day. Then lounged around the bus, cuddling, kissing, and just enjoying eachothers company. Eventually we ended up falling asleep on the couch all cuddled up together.

A/N

There's an update for you guys. I hope you liked it.
So Kyle is depressed and a little suicidal. I might not go that deep into detail into that stuff, but I will try my best.
Vote, comment, or whatever.

-Pierce The Sleeping Black Chemicals-