It Makes Me Mad, Knowing You're Sad (BoyxBoy Kohnnie)

Chapter 29

A/N

In case you didn't notice I changed the title and cover of the story. Used to be called Kohnnie Fanfic, but now the new title is It Makes Mad, Knowing You're Sad (Kohnnie).Anyways...I hope you guys are liking the story. Thanks for all the reads, votes, and comments. Honestly I didn't think I was a good writer and I wouldn't even get like 20 reads. Anyway Thank You Guys! OK. Carry on.

Kyle's POV:

I woke up and Johnnie was still holding me. I sighed in contentment, but decided to get up. I looked out the window of the bus and saw we were at a hotel in Arizona. Why didn't they wake us up? Who cares as long as I'm with Johnnie.

I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like a wreck. I rolled up my sleeves. My arms were wrapped in blood soaked gauze and they itched. I feel worthless looking in the mirror. I see all my flaws that I'm self conscious about. I look ugly. How does Johnnie like me? I'm a ball of depression, suicidal thoughts, and worthlessness. I just don't understand. He could do way better than me.

Before I knew it, I was scratching at the gauze. I couldn't take it anymore. My thoughts were eating me alive. I just want to do the thing that lets my emotions out. Cut. I can't get the gauze off. I silently curse myself for not being able to. What did he do super glue it?

I was so busy trying to get the gauze off that I hadn't noticed that Johnnie had came in the bathroom until he took my hand away from the gauze I was trying to get off. He looked me in the eyes. I could see how much pain he was in because of seeing me like this. I broke eye contact and looked at the ground.

"I need to change your bandages, OK?" Johnnie said quietly. I just nodded my head and looked away.

He slowly unwrapped my arms and cleaned them. So they wouldn't get infected. Then did something that suprised me. He kissed every single cut and scar on my arms. "I love you so much. I just wish you would see yourself the way I see you." Johnnie said while wrapping my arms back up.

"How do you see me Johnnie? " I asked curiously. I genuinely wanted to hear what he thought about me. His opinion means more to me than anyone else's.

"I see you as a handsome Guy who makes me happy. A Guy with the most amazing smile and a great personality. A Guy who wants to be accepted and is insecure. A Guy who is the most wonderful and one of the most important people in my life. I just wish you could love yourself the way I love you." Johnnie said shyly. Then kissed me as he finally finished wrapping my arms in gauze.

I kissed him back and that was the end of our conversation. We walked out of the bathroom and made two bowls of lucky charms. (A/N Lucky Charms is my favorite cereal) After we finished eating, we got dressed and did our hair. I changed into a pair of red skinny jeans with Johnnie's hoodie And Johnnie changed into a pair of black skinny jeans with a mcr shirt.

We walked of the bus and into the hotel. Just as we walked into the hotel lobby, Bryan was getting out of the elevator.

"Hey guys." Bryan said when he saw us.

"Hey... why didn't you wake us up?" Johnnie said.

"You guys looked so cute sleeping and we didn't want to ruin it." Bryan said with a small laugh and smile. "Anyways guys... we are all in room 182 on floor 3. We will be leaving to go to the venue at 11am. So be ready!" He continued them walked off to talk to the lady at the front desk.

We walked on the elevator and I looked at Johnnie. He looked so cute today. Why can't I look as good as him? But no. I have to look like a darn burnt potato.

"Take a picture. It last longer." Johnnie said sarcastically. I blushed a deep shade of crimson.

"Oh...um...sorry." I said quickly.

"Its OK Kyle. Lighten up. I was joking. But seriously what were you thinking about?" Johnnie asked with concern visible in his eyes.

"Nothing. I just. Ugh. OK." I said while trying to find the words.

"Its OK Kyle. You can tell me anything. Im here for you." He said while grabbing my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

I took a deep breath. "OK. I just feel ugly. I feel like I look like a fricking burnt potato. I feel insecure and self conscious. I just don't get how you or anyone else could like me? I'm a mess. Just a ball of depression, suicidal thoughts, and worthlessness." I said. I didn't even notice I was crying until Johnnie wiped away my tears once again. I hate crying. Now I feel weak.

"Baby, you are fucking perfect to me. If anything I don't see how I could get a Guy as amazing and perfect as you. You are not worthless. You are not ugly. You are more than your flaws. You have an amazing personality and so much more. If anything I'm lucky to have you." Johnnie said while looking me in the eyes and gave me a smile. Gosh his smile is contagious. I couldn't help but smile.

I looked down and said, "I'm far from perfect. I'm imperfect. I so many flaws that you can't even count them all."

"You are perfectly imperfect. Everyone has their flaws, but they are what make us human." Johnnie said then kissed me.

He know just how to shut me up and to stop an arguement. All he has to do is kiss me and its all over. When he kisses me it makes me feel like I belong. Just being in his presents makes me feel better. I love him so much that I can't even find the words to descibe how much I love him. You know the feeling of when you were a kid and its Halloween; and you get a whole bunch of candy and eat as much as you can? Johnnie gives me a feeling better than that. He gives me hope, comfort, and way more. You know when I said I felt worthless? Well I have found my purpose. I have found the thing that makes me feel like I'm worth it. That thing is Johnnie.

A/N

Boom another update.

I know Ive been updating a lot this week.

Once I hit a flow of Ideas, Its kind of impossible for me to not update. Lol.

Anyway...

Vote, Comment, or Whatever.

-Pierce The Sleeping Black Chemicals-