Is the light really at the end of the tunnel...

Chapter 1

It was after dad’s funeral and we were all going home. At this point I feel numb because I did not only lose my father but I lost my best friend too, he was my everything, my strongest support and now he’s gone. Every time I look back it’s like he is going to come and tell us this was a prank and that he is alive. I feel so broken inside, my heart is so heavy.

After a long drive we finally arrived home and that is when my worst nightmare began because the very minute we entered the house my mom began shouting at me saying that I was the one that killed dad but how could I when I loved him with all my heart. 

What happened to my sweet loving mother whom I knew and love.

I was still surprised by her outburst but what she said next was more than enough to convince me that she never loved me.

“I wish you were never born!” she shouted at me her eyes red with anger. 

“Mom please I’m sorry please don’t do this to me, I love you and you love me, you used to tell me that every day,” I cried at this point I was sobbing and apologizing for God knows what, I couldn’t even think straight because I was also shocked by my mom’s behaviour. 

“Listen let me tell you something, I did not want you when your father was alive and I still don’t want you now, I was just pretending for your father’s sake and now that he is gone I don’t have to pretend anymore,” she said and I felt so hurt by what she was telling me, I mean I just lost my father and here she is being insensitive telling me all this nonsense.

“Mom now that is just uncalled for how can you say that to your own child?" Kyle questioned coming in and defending me.

“What, I’m only saying the truth," she shrugged 
“Mom!” Kyle was now furious and amazed by mom’s sudden behaviour.
“You know what I do not have time for this I am already stressed as it is, I’m going up to my room,” she said whilst going upstairs to her room.
Kyle stayed and comforted me until Kira and Kiana came in and ruined the moment.

“Wow Orabelle, always seeking attention, guess your plan to win mom’s attention didn’t work,” Kira said laughing at me causing me to cry even more.

“Cry-baby,” Kiana scoffed.

“Girls please just stop it, we just lost our dad and the last thing that he would have wanted was to see us not getting along with each other, so let us try to just get along, please, if not for dad then do it for me,” Kyle said all in one breath.

“Pshht, what’s so special about you?” Kiana asked to which Kyle shot her a death glare.
“Whatever,” they both said at the same time and left.
“Look, do not listen to them okay, they are just being insensitive bullies, please don’t cry Belle (my nickname), I hate seeing you like this” he said wiping my tears away.

                          *************

Months have passed and my family (except my brother) was still treating me like an outsider, mom would “ forget to give me food” or would lock me outside thinking I’d spend the night at a friend’s house, I mean when have I ever done that.

My sisters on the other hand were no less than her, they would bully me, making me feel very insecure about myself and they always made me feel weak, gosh I hated that.
One night I was washing the dishes but then I dropped my mom’s favourite glass by mistake and as soon as she heard a crash she barged into the kitchen, looked at the glass that was on the floor, then looked at me with so much fury in her eyes.

“Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve a daughter who is as useless and worthless as you,” she sneered calmly then exited the kitchen so I took that as my cue to clean up the mess I made and go back to my room. I did all that with tears streaming down my face.
That night I could not sleep because I was crying all night, why did I have to be born because now that my dad is gone, mom is treating me like I’m an outsider where I feel very unwanted and trust me that is not a nice feeling at all.

When I go to my sisters, even though I’m not on good terms with them there is that little bit of hope that maybe one day they will treat me like their little sister again but that hope comes and goes because they just give me the cold shoulder.

The only person I can truly rely on is my brother and I am so grateful for him because he would come in every five minutes to check up on me trying to make small conversations with me to kind of distract me from my current situation and I really appreciate him for that. That is why he is my favourite brother even though I only have one.

I wonder what I would have done if Kyle was not here.

“Hey sister, you okay there?” Kyle asks sitting at the edge of the bed.
“Never been better,” I answer with a huge smile on my face (I hope everyone can sense the sarcasm).

After that we didn’t say anything he just engulfed me in a hug which was highly appreciated and I silently cried on his shoulder, this is just too much, these were the only words that were tattooed on mind right now and after our little sibling bonding session he said four words which lost their meaning these past few weeks…

*It’s going to be okay*

“But it never is!” I wanted to shout and argue but I didn’t, I just chose to silently nod and look away quickly blinking the tears away.
A few minutes later my brother left and I decided to sleep, though I had this one thought that was invading my mind, I had to leave this place.

No, no I needed to leave this place.