Is the light really at the end of the tunnel...

Chapter 42

"Hey, uhm Juliana can you view my schedule, I want to see if I'm free after three o'clock," I ask Juliana leaning back on my seat because I had been having really bad heartburn and indigestion but right now I felt dizzy.

"Okay yeah let me take a look, are you okay?" she asked

"Yeah, its nothing," I dismiss

"Okay so you have a meeting which ends at three thirty and then you're free after that," she answered

Great, just great, exactly what I need. I literally wanted to cry because I wanted to go to the doctor's office then straight home.

During the meeting I could barely focus because I felt like I was about to pass out and the woman next to me shame man maybe she ate peanuts before she came because I could smell them and it took everything in me not to throw up, I can't even say the amount of times I secretly gagged. It was horrible but thankfully it was over now so I could go.

Mathew and I took different cars because I told him I'd be stopping by the doctor's office, he wanted to come but I told him he needed to work I was going to be fine.

The doctor comes in examines me then asks a few questions

"Mrs Porter have you visited your gynaecologist?" he asks

"No why, is something wrong?" I answer his question with a question

"Uhm, I'm guessing since you're already twelve weeks pregnant you-," I cut him off

"Sorry doc, I'm what now?" I question, I mean that is not possible. Just a month or so ago I was told I'm not pregnant.

"But I did an ultrasound and it didn't show anything,"

"Well, it might have been too early to tell so that is why it didn't show," he answered.

When I was done I called my doctor to schedule an appointment. After that I went straight to my car and just cried for about ten minutes. Hearing the doctor say I'm pregnant and I'm that far along scared me, I mean yes I've had symptoms and my missed periods should have given it away but maybe I was in denial.

I'm going to sound terrible when I say this but I didn't want to be pregnant...

I had the rest of the day off so I went home luckily Stephania and Sapphira were with Noelle and Michael so I at least I had some time to just take everything in.

When I arrived I said a quick hello to Adelaide and rushed straight to my room.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no," I whisper as tears rushed down my face
"A baby, really Orabelle," I say to myself looking at the baby scans.

I probably sat there for ten minutes then decided to go downstairs.

"Are you okay sweets?" Adelaide asked
"I'm pregnant ma," I sighed putting my face in my hands

"I thought you were alre-, you don't seem happy about it," she said sitting down in front of me.

"Ma it's not that I'm not happy it's just too much like I already have two kids who are still in diapers, it's going to be too much work for you and I don't think I am ready for another baby so I don't know and the funny thing is when the doctor first told me that I was not pregnant I was relieved but also sad, more relieved though but now I just I don't know," I confess

"Well honey what do you want to do? Do you want to keep the baby?" she asked

"Yes because I know that when I set my eyes on him or her I'm going to love them and I can't be left with the feelings of what if," I reply without thinking twice