Is the light really at the end of the tunnel...

Chapter 33

When I got to the hospital I put Stephania and Sapphira in their conjoined strollers and went inside. The lady at the front desk told me that I should go to the waiting room and wait for the doctor to update me on how he is doing.

Thankfully the girls were sleeping but I managed to call Adelaide’s driver to come with her and take the girls home.

Finally the doctor came and told tell me about Matt’s situation.

“Mrs Porter, your husband has endured a lot of serious injuries and we need to take him up to surgery immediately, the paramedics informed us that his car swerved and hit a tree, hence the serious injuries,” he said and I nodded, I could see his mouth moving but I couldn’t quite register what was being said.

He left.

The doctor, he left to prepare for Mathew’s surgery.

My husband’s surgery…

I sat down in silence until Adelaide came to fetch the girls. I just told her what the girls needed and that was it.

“Honey are you okay, should I cal-,” Adelaide started but I cut her off.
“No, I’m fine,” I said wearing a blank expression on my face.

After that they left.

“I’m okay, my husband is okay, my babies are okay, my family is fine,” I whispered to myself as the tears that were threatening to spill out of my started to burn, my chest began to tighten and I felt a bit lightheaded, beads of sweat formed on my forehead and I could feel my hands getting sweaty and shakey.

I leaned back so the back of my head was against the wall, I closed my eyes, balled up my fists and started counting to ten trying to calm down.

It didn’t work because every time I closed my eyes I saw Sam’s face. I tried to blink away the tears but that did not work either, my elbows weakened and it was like the chair was swallowing me whole, the waiting room began to spin and this is where I knew that I was about to faint.

“No, no, no, this is not happening, not right now,” I whispered once again to myself. I tried pinching myself but that didn’t work either, honestly I didn’t know what was happening.

“Excuse me miss would you like some water?” a lady asked and that’s when I snapped out of that trance.

“Sorry?” I asked looking very confused as this lady stood over me.

“Oh I’m sorry I couldn’t help but notice that you looked like you were about to pass out so I was offering you a bottle of water,” she said hand me the bottle.

“Yes, uhm water, thank you,” I opened the bottle just gulped the water.

“Uhm thank you,” I said calming down a bit, she sat with me for a while and then left.
It has been 3 hours and the doctors has yet come ba-,

“Mrs Porter, your husband has just come out of surgery and he is in the intensive care unit but I can take you to see him while explaining how the surgery went, is that fine?” he asked

“Uhm ye-yeah okay,” I said.

*BEEP*                     *BEEP*                          *BEEP*                    *BEEP*

The minute I saw him the tears just rolled down my face, he looked so vulnerable and weak with all these tubes and machines that were stuck on him and all I could think about was…

I did this to my husband…

He was still asleep so I took a seat on the chair that was next to the bed. As I sat there I couldn’t help but think about the fact that all of this was my fault, I mean from the accident that happened years ago and now this, like how do you recover from this, Sam is slowly ruining my family because he wants revenge and he won’t stop until he’s satisfied.

Even saying his name makes me sick to my stomach. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a small cough coming from Matt and I called the nurse because he was starting to breath over the tube.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re okay,” I said softly running my hand gently through his hair and giving some water to drink.

“Wha- mmhmh, what happened?” he managed to ask with a hoarse voice and I couldn’t help but feel guilty, he must’ve sensed the mood change and spoke again,

“Orabelle,” he said but this time, though hoarse his voice was a bit stern.
“You uhm yo-,” I started but the doctor came in the room to check on him.
“My apologies for interrupting I-,” I didn’t even let the doctor finish
“No that’s okay I uh-, I need to use the ladies room, I will be back before you know it,” I said giving Matt a kiss on his forehead and quickly bolting out of the room.

The minute I entered the toilet I rushed over to the sink and splashed my face with water trying to cool down.

“I, I did I did this to him
I caused all of this
He’s going to hate me 
My children are in danger because of me
My, m-my innocent innocent babies 
They are all in danger because of me”

“Excuse me, miss are you okay?” I heard a voice say as I flinched feeling a hand press against my back.

I took in my stance…
I was leaning against the sink as my hands clenched the edges of the table top.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you were whispering something under your breathing while gripping the table,” the lady said point to my hands and I immediately let go.

“I uhm I’m fine,” I faked a smile taking in a deep breath
“No you’re not now look at me,” she said grabbing me by my shoulders and to say I was shocked would be an understatement.

I decided to hear her out…

“Okay I can see that you are panicking, so I need you to look at me straight in the eyes and put your hand on my chest,” and when she said that I gave her an odd look

“Just trust me,” she said so I did as I was told
“Okay good now try matching my breathing with yours okay,” she said and I did exactly that.
After a few minutes I managed to calm down.
“Thank you, this really meant a lot to me, like you don’t know how much this meant to me,” I said 

“Don’t worry about it I’m always happy to help wherever I can,” she answered making her to the door
“Wait, I didn’t get your name,” I call out
“My name is Naila,” she said with a look and walked out which was a bit odd but I didn’t mind that, I just checked myself in the mirror and I went out.

When I got to Mathew’s room I found him eating some jello.

“I’m back,” I said softly taking seat 
“You ready to tell me what happened,” he placing the cup of jello down.

I narrated the whole story to him starting from what in the park to how he ended up in the hospital. I felt a pit in my stomach as I watched his face change from a blank expression to hatred, disgust and maybe it was my guilt but I think I also saw a tinge of regret. I was about to say something but he cut me off.

“I uh I need to process all of this information can you give me some space,” he said 

He, he couldn’t even look at me, I reached out to touch his hand but moved it. Tears formed in my eyes with my mouth wide open. I stood up and exited the room, my family was falling apart right in front of my eyes.

My phone started to ring but I didn’t recognise the number, I answered anyways.

“You’re lucky he’s not dead,” it was Sam
“Wh-, h-,” I struggled trying to find the words.
“I have my ways, remember I am everywhere,” he said as chills went down my spine and my knees buckled at what he just said and I quickly dropped the call.
5 minutes went by and I decided to go back inside.

“I will come back later I just need to go and check on the girls and update Adelaide on what’s going on because I’m sure she’s worried sick about you, I also managed to send a message to your mom and dad, they’ll be here in a few hours hopefully they will be here when I get back,” I said taking my things

“Wai-, Orabelle wait, I need you to listen to me okay, I-,” he said but I didn’t let him finish.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” I said pecking his lips and heading out and as soon as I left the room I let out a huge sigh.