You Don't Know Me | A Andy Gibb What If Story

Chapter 91

Time was slowly trickling along. It was like the summer was there, but nothing felt like summer about it. 

August came with a slow burn. We were anxious to get out and go to Croatia. That's all Andy and I could think about.

Andy and I had been busy all day with our perspective things. I had work as usual. He had his therapy appointment.

Before coming home, I wanted to do something for him and bought some roses. Who says men can't appreciate flowers?

He wasn't home yet when I walked in. So, I got the flowers ready and put them on the kitchen island with a little note.

After a while, Andy finally waltzed in. Much to my surprise, he had flowers too.

I tried to act "cool" so when he went to the kitchen, he'd be surprised he got something from me.

"Hi honey," I remarked as he came up to me.

"How was your day?" he asked as he kissed me.

"Good good," I remarked as I tried to avoid the flowers in his hands.

"I got to tell you in a few what my therapist said today," he remarked as he disappeared to the kitchen.

I stayed where I was.

"Where did these flowers come from?" Andy asked confused.

"I don't know they were on the steps when I got home," I replied as a lie.

"There's a card. Did you read the card?" he asked as I heard him grab the envelope.

I went and stood in the doorway and watched him.

"Nope," I remarked as he read it.

His confusion turned into a smile.

"Darling you got these for me? That's nice of you," he remarked as he put the note back in the envelope.

"Men never get roses so I thought it was a nice gesture," I replied as he came over to me and kissed me.

"The way we both wanted to surprise each other and we both thought of flowers," he remarked as he went back to fix the bouquet that he had purchased.

"Well, it is mid-week pick me ups I guess," I told him.

He smiled.

"So what did your therapist say?" I asked him as he finished the bouquet up.

"Oh right well we figured out what my trigger was for the panic attacks," he commented.

"Really?" I asked him.

"You notice how they haven't been coming on lately right? Well when they were really bad, you were not yourself and things were just getting bad for you. I was making myself sick worrying about you," he told me.

I felt bad and yet relieved at the same time hearing that.

"Wait I feel so bad I was the cause of your stress," I remarked.

He shook his head.

"No no, darling. My therapist said because I worry about you, my body goes into a flight or fight system. If you ever left or something bad happened to you, my body would not know how to respond. You are one of the most important people in my life and because you have helped me, I worry if you leave I'll repeat the cycle. And no, I am not blaming you, darling. It's the way my therapist explained it," he told me.

"I don't want to be the reason for your panics," I expressed.

"Darling it's not like that. I go into those panics because I don't know how to take care of my own feelings half the time or respond to your worries. I know I can't protect you from everything. That's one thing my therapist said will come in due time," he told me as he wrapped me in a hug.

"I love you too much and I," I began to comment.

"No don't say anything darling. It's because I love you and worry about you that I stress out on the what-ifs," he replied.

Little did he know what I thought about all these months and the what-ifs that play on my mind too. But, if I told him, it would only make him sicker.

"I love you and I won't ever hurt you. At least not on purpose. I'm accident-prone as you know," I told him.

He started to laugh.

"That's my girl. Going from being serious to using a joke as comedic relief," he teased.

I chuckled at his comment.

"Well of course I do. I don't know how else to respond except in a joke sometimes. That's how I cope," I told him.

"That's the best way they say. Laughter is the best medicine," he told me as he kissed my forehead.

That always felt protective. I never felt more protected in my life till now.

"Wait I didn't show you the flowers," he commented as he grabbed the vase.

"You always know how to pick the best flowers," I told him.

"I've learned your favorites," he told me proudly.

"I hope you like your roses. I don't know if you have a favorite flower," I told him as he put the flowers back on the kitchen island.

"Actually, I don't know if I have a favorite flower. I think roses will be my favorite now cause of you," he told me.

"I think it's funny to think of things like that. Like do we just like it or is it assigned to us?" I replied.

"Both honestly darling. Things are assigned to us as children and other things we develop," Andy commented.

To a wonderful afternoon full of love.