You Don't Know Me | A Andy Gibb What If Story

Chapter 93

"What's up with all the affection? You made breakfast this morning, helped clean the house, and now you wanna make dinner?"  I asked Andy who just brought me tea without me asking him.

It was my favorite day of the week: Saturday. We were in the final countdown till we went to Croatia. But, since this morning, Andy has been doing the absolute most. 

Andy smiled.

"Can't the man that loves you just do things without a reason?" he asked.

I chuckled.

"That's a good reason I mean I ain't complaining. I was just curious," I asked him as he sat with me.

He chuckled this time.

"Good. Don't ever ask why I'm doing things," he told me as he left a kiss on my cheek.

It was weird but nice to be loved.

"I won't question anything," I told him as we flipped channels.

A lot of repeats of syndicated television shows were playing.

I had everything I ever dreamed of right in the room. Days like this were so hard to concept. I had manifested it.

"So what's left on the Croatia to-list?" Andy asked as we settled on a game show to fill the background noise.

"Oh, good question. Well, we need to verify the tickets and also make sure we have the passports in a place where we won't forget," I listed off.

"That's it?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so. We got all the stuff ready in the luggage already," I told him.

"Wow, I didn't think we had gotten that far ahead on this trip," he remarked.

"If you don't know me by now, I'm always five hundred feet ahead," I told him chuckling.

He laughed.

"No no, I know. I remember the trip to Florida and how much we had prepared and it was only for a week I think we were gone," he remarked.

"It was my first time being away in a long time and going to be with your family. I didn't want to mess anything up," I told him.

"How could you mess anything up?" he asked curiously.

I shrugged.

"Who honestly knows but I always overthink,"  I told him as I grabbed my tea to sip it.

It finally had cooled off enough.

"I know darling," he replied as he wrapped an arm over my shoulders.

At this point, I felt like I was a 20-year-old on a first date for some reason. He was being sly. 

I shook it off as we focused back on our conversation.

"Anywho I literally cannot wait till we get to Croatia. I miss Violet so much," I told him.

"I know you do darling. But just think, in just a week, you'll be able to see her for a few days. Then, she comes home in December," he reminded.

"Wait that's right. Violet comes home in December. It ain't too terrible to think in that aspect since it's already gonna be September," I told him.

"Speaking of which, the demo of "Man on Fire" arrived this morning. When did you want to listen to it?" he asked.

It was a really beautiful song Andy, Barry, and Maurice had worked on earlier in the summer. It was probably my favorite Andy song to date. He sang it around the house a ton before going to Crietia with his brothers to cut the demo. Andy was hoping for a comeback in the spring of 88. I wanted it for him. I was ready to cheer him on like I always did.

"After dinner?" I asked him.

"That'll work. I hope this gets me officially back on my feet. If I had just never," he commented.

I shook my head.

"Andy, you cannot stress over the what-ifs. Things happened and before you knew it, they taught you a lesson. Now, you are here in the present and you got the rest of the road ahead of you," I told him.

He sighed.

"I know you are always right darling," he remarked as he played with the ring on my hand.

He had a nervous thing like I did. If we were standing face to face, I'd mess with his necklace.

"I'm not always right but I do usually have a hunch. And who's to say if you never did those things and got your life back in order at Betty Ford, we never would have crossed paths?" I remarked.

He looked at me with a really serious look.

"You know, that's a very good point I had not thought about. We wouldn't be sitting here together talking about our upcoming trip. Or being together for over a year if I had never done those other things," he realized.

"Somethings come at a price. But you earned your stripes," I told him as I brought my hand up to his face to swipe my thumb across his cheek.

He leaned into my hand. He closed his eyes and opened them.

"I love you. I hope you know that I do. Times like this I feel like make it a lot harder to love me when I have my doubts," he remarked.

"I love you exactly just the way you are," I told him as I let go of his face.

I leaned over to wrap him in a hug.

"I know your inner demons sometimes play with you. But you are loved," I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair.

He sighed as he gave me a squeeze in the hug.

"That's why I've been doing extra cause I feel like sometimes I'm never enough. And I swear it's nothing you are saying or doing. I have to prove it to myself," he told me quietly.

"You do what you have to for yourself love. But, know that I am proud of who you are becoming and have been since we met," I told him.

He sighed at my words. He was absorbing what I was saying. At least, I hoped he was. 

I looked at him. He had silent tears. Anytime he cried, it hurt my heart. He was vulnerable and I was too. But crying wasn't something we opened our hearts to accept and do with each other.

I swiped my thumb over the tears.

"I didn't do the things today out of pity. I did them 'cause I love you," he commented quietly.

"I know that. Why are you questioning it?" I asked softly.

He was in one of his moods and he had been suppressing his feelings all day. I hadn't noticed till now it was too late. 

"I just had to say it," he remarked.

"We need to learn it's okay to cry in front of the other. It's not good suppressing it when we are feeling bad or not like ourselves," I told him.

"I know I mean but," he commented.

This had turned into a therapy session.

"No buts. I couldn't comprehend how you were being extra and not like you don't do that. I even asked you earlier and you didn't tell me," I told him.

"Right," he remarked.

He had stopped crying now. I wrapped him in a hug. 

"I need to listen more to my body," he remarked.

"Yes you do," I remarked as I kissed his cheek.

A therapy session I did not expect.