How deep is your love?

CHAPTER 21 (The stranger in the mirror)

I can't sleep. Pakiramdam ko nasa paligid lang siya and this time he left a name. A name I can't take out of my mind. Pangalan pa lang kinikilabutan na ako. The name speaks for its supremacy and superiority. Hindi ko alam kung paano pa ako makakatulog ngayon. Natatakot ako.

CICERO

Marcus Tullius Cicero (/ˈsɪsɨroʊ/; Classical Latin: [ˈmaːr.kʊs ˈtʊl.li.ʊs ˈkɪ.kɛ.roː]; Ancient Greek: Κικέρων Kikerōn, sometimes anglicized as Tully /ˈtʌli/; 3 January 106 BC – 7 December 43 BC) was a Roman philosopher, politician, lawyer, orator, political theorist, consul and constitutionalist. He came from a wealthy municipal family of the Roman equestrian order, and is widely considered one of Rome's greatest orators and prose stylists.

Ano namang konekyon ng isang philosoher sa stalker ko? He's a smart man, I think. He knows history very well and he wasn't even seen by any security personnel. Feeling ko tuloy nakamasid lang siya palagi. It feels creepy to sleep or to even take a bath. Ganun katindi ang takot ko ngayon. Why would someone do this to me? Hindi naman ako kagandahan at talino lang siguro ang lamang ko sa ibang babae, pero bakit niya 'to ginagawa? Hindi ako makauwi ng Bicol kasi baka madamay ang parents ko sa mga nangyayari. Gustong-gusto kong umuwi kasi namimiss ko na si nanay at tatay pero wala akong magawa.

I feel helpless. Ayoko ng ganito.

Who are you Cicero? Why are you doing this to me? Why would you like to hurt the people I care for? Hindi na ako natutuwa kung sino ka man. Ayoko ng ginagawa mo sa akin. I feel unsafe. I feel scared for everyone especially for Xavier. I don't want him to get hurt just because a crazy stalker is after me. Ayokong madamay siya lalo na't nandyan si Ethan. Ethan needs him and I can't let anything bad happen to Xavier.

"Tulala ka na naman." Si Xavier pala.

"Natatakot ako, sa totoo lang. I'm not a brave person, Xavier. Hindi malakas ang personality ko. Hindi rin ako palabang tao. Maingay lang ako pero mahina ako. Hindi ko kayang i-handle ang ganitong problema. Siguro analytical akong tao sa paningin ng iba pero hindi ako nakakapag-isip 'pag natatakot ako. This... is too much, Xavier. It's too much. Why would this person threaten me?! Why me? Why does it have to be me." I covered my face with my hands and started crying hysterically. Sa loob-loob ko kahit anong kalma ko eh nagpapanic talaga ako. Hindi ko mapigilang matakot.

I felt him hugging from me from the back. Oh god knows how I love when his silky smooth skin is against mine.

"I'm sorry I can't stop this guy. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko siya masisi kung bakit ka niya nagugustuhan. You're an amazing woman, Alex. I've never seen someone with this perseverance. Dedicated ka sa trabaho mo at higit sa lahat, mabait ka. Your humility is overwhelming. You have lots of things to boast to, but you managed to keep yourself low key. Ngayon lang yata ako nakakita ng katulad mo. You might have flaws, but those don't make me love you less. You had me whipped, Dr. jung."

"I want to know who's Cicero and why is he in love with me. I want to know if he's one of the people I meet everyday. The chances of me knowing him is quite high, Xavier. Pwede kasing nasasalubong ko lang siya every single day. This person is in love with me. Wala akong maisip na ibang tao na posibleng may gusto sa akin. Imposible din naman si Nathaniel Corpuz kasi nasa ibang bansa siya ngayon. He's also not the type kasi alam ko nagkakaigihan na sila nung babaeng kasama niya accroding sa instagram account niya. God, this is insane."

"Don't stress out, okay? Just stay still and let everything go smoothly. Ayos din ang lahat."

"Sana nga Xavier. Ayoko naman na nakatira ako sa inyo. Ayokong makigulo at gusto ko din naman ng normal na buhay. I want to move freely without thinking someone might be following me. Ayoko na. Naiinis na ako. Hindi na normal ang buhay ko. Hindi na ako makakilos ng maayos. Hindi ako makahinga."