How deep is your love?

CHAPTER 13 (The start of something new)

Hawak-hawak ko ang puso ko ngayon. Ayoko kasing makuha iyon ni Xavier Tan. Natatakot akong itapon niya lang at wasakin. I'm kinda freaking out because of his crazy proposal and now I'm kinda taking the fall.

Hindi ako makatulog, paano ba naman kasi kasing laki yata ng kama ko ang stuffed teddy bear na pinadala niya kanina. Buti na lang dito sa bahay or else mapapahiya ako kung sa opisina.

1 week. Iyon na lang ang natitira kong panahon sa kompanya niya. Ayokong magtagal dahil natatakot akong tuluyang magkagusto. Wala sa plano ko ang magustuhan siya, and like I'm the kinda girl who'll fall at his feet voluntarily. It's not even in ny vocab to have this sort of relationship thing.

Bad love. Young love. Unconditional love. Pare-pareho lang naman silang lahat na nakakasakit. Ayoko na nga eh! Sawa na akong maniwala pero I'm a naive woman so I'll believe in him and take the fvcking fall.

He makes me feel special. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya ako nagustuhan. What is it that I have that he likes? Is it because I'm a doctor? No, kasi mayaman siya. He won't need my money.

But why does he keep on making me feel beautiful?

I wonder why. It's impossible for him to love me that fast. He's not in love with me. Challenge? Maybe but why is it making heart stir? Nakakaramdam ako ng sakit pag may kasama siyang iba.

I see red when he's with someone.

Ahhhh... Please be still my heart, it's hard to cope up with your beating. It drains all my energy and I can't think straight. I'm being dragged to him. My heart drags me towards him.

Bakit naman siya magkakagusto sa akin? Ahhh! Sirang plaka na nga ako pero hindi ko mawala sa isip kong baka hindi totoo lahat ng feelings niya para sa akin.

1 new message

Fr: +63927566xxxx
-Save my number. It's Xavier, babe.

Babe?!

I replied after I saved hi is number.

To: Xavier (babe)
-Why the babe?! I'm not a pig.

Fr: Xavier (babe)
-my baby not babe the pig. Grrr

To: Xavier (babe)
-I am not a baby, infant or a child. I'm 26

Fr: Xavier (babe)
-Funny. I ❤ your humor as always.

Ang isang bruskong si Xavier Tan ay gumagamit ng emoji na heart?! Is this a frigging joke?! Pero in fairness, ang cute. My heart is fluttering and I can't stop it. Anong ire-reply ko?

To: Xavier (babe)
-Nope. I'm the worst joker. Good night.

I hit send. Wala namam sigurong masamang mag-emoji. It's a basic necessity in messaging kaya I'm gonna act like it's normal. Pero I don't use emojis!!! Kinakabahan akong nag-aantay sa reply niya habang naka-duster akong nakadapa sa akin navy blue na kama. Mainit kasi at sayang ang kuryente kung mag-aircon ako, centralized kasi.

Fr: Xavier (babe)
-That's an improvement. Next time add this to your messages. I want to fell your heart. Good night and I ❤ you.

Oh my freaking madness! I love you?! Sa buong twenty six years of my existence. Ngayon lang ako nasabihan ng I love you nang walang halong pagdududa. My heart feels at ease nung sinabi niya iyon. Oh my goodness. Nahuhulog na ako kay Xavier Tan and this is... well lovely. He's my fresh start.

We are starting something new.