How deep is your love?

CHAPTER 28 (It's either he dies)

World renowned pianist Xavier Tan is planning to go back to his roots and play piano again. Yesterday, his agent Marcus Alemain said in an exclusive interview at The Times that Xavier is planning on going back to the piano scene. According to him, "He's hating the finance scene and wants to go back to where he truly belongs. Piano was his first love and it's one of the things that keeps him alive. His son, Ethan Hugh will be coming along with him back to Germany as soon as we settle a house for them to live in. We are very happy for his return." According to his manager. No further comments from himself was given but his father already confirmed his resignation at their family corporation.

Last weekend, he played an emotional Moonlight Sonata and is rumored to have issues with his on and off violinist girlfriend, Amanda Britt. Some sources say that he is involved with a female doctor. No one really knows if he's dating anyone but his music speaks heartbreak. Xavier Tan had been involved in numerous scandals involving women. His conquests with women are what paparazzi had been waiting for. Are we welcoming back our classical playboy?

Yes, he was a playboy to begin with. Nothing comes good nga daw kapag narinig mo ang pangalang 'Xavier Tan' eh. He's really the kind of guy women adore.

Xavier is going back to Germany and he's bringing Ethan along with him. Talaga nga yatang nasaktan ko siya, pero nasaktan din naman ako. I am not made of stone; I get hurt. Hindi siya nagtiyagang suyuin ako. Instead, tatakas na lang siya sa mga kasalanan niya. Hindi niya ako sinuyo at ni hindi niya yatang masabi na ako! At hindi ang malanding babaeng yun

"Uuwi ako ng probinsya." Sabi ko kay Anthony na nagre-ready na pumunta kala Kayla sa San Isidro. Tumambay muna ako sa Condo nila Cassie tutal dalawa lang naman kami na naiwan sa barkada.

"Sumama ka na kasi, para kang ewan. Hinihintay tayo doon nila Kayla. Para naman maiba tayo ng bakasyon. I feel sick just looking at needles. We need a breather. We have to clear our heads. Gusto mo bang umuwi nang malungkot tapos makikita ka ng mga magulang mo? You were so happy the last time you went home." Sabi naman niya habang kumakain.

"Ewan. I don't know what I wanna do. Xavier just wants to escape this. Hindi niya siguro talaga ako mahal kaya aalis siya. Hindi man lang niya ako ipinaglaban. I was so stupid to fall in love with him. I was so fucking stupid to fall in his trap." Naiinis kasi talaga ako. Gusto ko kasing nakita man lang siyang mag-effort. For the first time in my life, I was hoping someone would beg for my forgiveness. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero gusto ko. I want it badly.

Anthony just sighed and sat with me in the couch. Nagsimula siyang manigarilyo.

"If you keep on seeing yourself miserably, talagang magiging miserable ka. Maiksi ang buhay, Alex. You have to cherish and enjoy every frigging second of it. You don't make yourself miserable; you make it happy and worthwhile." He patted my back and went inside the toilet. Tama nga naman. Dapat magpakatotoo ako at magpakasaya ako. Maiksi lang ang buhay. 

I am always used to how people see me. Ngayong resident na ako, siguro lalong lumaki ang ulo ko. Siguro dapat talaga tinigilan ko na ang masyadong mataas na tingin sa sarili ko. I am always defined by my accomplishments. Hindi ako kilala dahil sa character o attitude na pinapakita ko. I am always driven and competent.

Then a doorbell.

Lumabas ng toilet si Anthony and pinagbuksan ang nagdoorbell. Dumating na yata 'yung pizza na kanina ko pa tinawagan. Ginugutom na ako kakadrama.

Tumayo ako para abutin ang wallet ko para bayaran ang delivery boy.

Only, it's not a delivery boy. Then I tried catching my breath. Bigla akong kinabahan.

"Alex."

"Xavier."

"Doon muna ako sa kusina, akala ko 'yung pizza na." Sabi naman ni Anthony habang naglalakad palayo.