How deep is your love?

CHAPTER 29 (Ecstasy-like)

It's another day again to hunt him down. Is it really? Hindi ko alam. Malamang kasi hindi namin siya mahuli. He's starting to get scarier. Hindi ako makatulog sa gabi dahil sa kanya. Hindi ko mapigilang mag-imagine na baka nasa loob siya ng kwarto ko habang natutulog. Never pa ako nabahala ng isang stalker. I am not that pretty to begin with. Hindi naman ako kagandahan para may ma-obsess sa akin. Nakakasakit ng ulo kung iisipin.

Konti lang ang tao ngayon sa bahay nila Xavier. Nasa US ang parents nila Xavier. Apat lang kami dito nila Xander, Ethan at Xavier (including the maids, bodyguards and other staffs). Todo bantay sila sa amin at para kaming pamilya na nasa action movies na may kumpletong security team. It sounds cool but it's not.

Bumaba ako sa kusina at halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang makita ko si Xander na umiinom ng tubig. Nasa dilim kasi siya. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. "Ikaw lang pala." Sabi ko sa kanya at ngumiti siya. Binuksan ko ang ilaw at kumuha ng juice sa ref.

"Sino pa ba? Ikaw talaga napakanerbyosa mo na. Hindi naman kita masisisi. It's really scary to find out you have a stalker. Hindi naman kasi talaga komportable. My brother will protect you so don't worry." Ngumiti ako. He will protect me, just like always.

"Oo naman." Sabi ko.

"Mukhang puyat ka. Hospital is kinda difficult for a workplace. Nakakastress, buti kinakaya mo." Sabi naman niya. Umupo ako sa tabi niya.

"Syempre kakayanin. It's my dream. My parents want this for me. I want this badly for myself as well. I'd die for this." Nakakahiya mang aminin pero totoo. Hindi ako pwedeng mabigo. Being a doctor is the blood in my veins.

"Maganda 'yan. You're just like Xavier. Noong nakakita siya ng piano sa TV, hindi na siya napigilan. He started piano lessons a little late kaya doble ang effort niya. He would practice piano in his notebook na may drawing kahit nasa school. Grabe ang naging determinasyon niya. Talagang pinaghirapan niya kahit halos mamayat na siya. He would play than eat before. Piano is his life." Hearing this for the first time made my heart feel warm.

"Wow. I felt like I connected another red string of him to myself." Natawa siya.

"Xavier didn't know anything about relationship before kaya nabuntis niya si Aileen at nabuo si Ethan. Hindi siya tulad nang iba na ide-deny ang anak kasi bata pa siya noon. He accepted the responsibilities na tinakbuhan ng nanay niya kahit na may sakit itong kakaiba. Cystic fibrosis is rare at alam mo 'yan." I felt like I saw him in a different light. I finally understood some parts of him.

"I feel bad for Ethan. Ang hirap na tingnan siya sa ospital at walang magawa. Wala pa kasing treatment." Sabi ko naman.

"My nephew is fighting for his life. Hindi mo siya makikitaan ng kahinaan. He's a bright kid. I hate to see him get sicker. I love that child. Kamukhang-kamukha namin." Nagtawanan kaming dalawa. Bigla namang sumeryoso ang mukha niya.

"Para lang maintindihan mo Alex, may dahilan kung bakit attached si Xavier kay Amanda. Actually, not romantically attached, parang magkapatid lang. It all started when Xavier went to Germany. Siya ang naging kaibigan niya doon at inintindi siya ng buong-buo. They have the same passion for classical music kaya magkasundo. You see, walang tatay si Amanda kaya siguro ganun na lang ang pagdikit sa kanya nito. Pareho silang may emotional baggage with Xavier being a young dad and her looking for a father's affection. The bond is kinda deep pero ikaw ang minahal niya. You're something. You're just like a breath of fresh air to Xavier."

"Xander, hindi ako impokrita kaya sasabihin ko sayong gusto ko siyang sampalin at sabunutan. She's really trying to break our relationship. She made him sleep with her. May kasalanan din si Xavier doon pero she's got premeditated plans to lure him. Pero, hindi naman ako bato na hindi maintindihan ang mga nangyari sa kanya. Hindi ko kasi sinubukang intindihin. Mali din ako." Bigla akong nalungkot.