How deep is your love?

CHAPTER 34 (He's my person)

"Uhmm... k-kamusta na siya?" I asked the doctor in charge. He just gave me a pair of sad eyes.

"He's... not stable. He had a cardiac arrest and it was difficult for his body to take. He's getting worse and all we could do is ask the lord God for a miracle. Magdasal tayo." Para akong pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa. My best friend and my soul mate is really close to death. What will happen if he doesn't wake up? It's been two weeks now. Hindi ko masabi ang totoo sa nga magulang ko, lalo na sa mga magulang ni Ismael.

"Doc, uhmm... just make sure he's properly supplied with all the drugs he needs. Is it possible to transport him to a better hospital? I work as a surgical resident at Falcon Medical Center in Manila and we can help him there. I... can help him there. Tulungan mo kami mailipat siya doon." He took a deep breath.

"It's possible. I just have to make sure his lungs are stable. I'm making sure he won't have multiple organ failure. Mahirap talaga kaya naman sisiguraduhin ko muna. I actuallu would like to suggest that to you kasi magagaling ang neurosurgeons niyo doon. There's a slight subdural hemorrhage on his brain that maybe is the reason why he won't wake up. I'm a cardio so, I'm not the right person to tell you that. All I can provide you here is low quality CT and MRI kasi probinsya 'to."

"Thank you. We will immediately arrange transportation for him. My fiancée can arrange for an air ambulance in Manila. Just tell me when we could move him."

"Of course."

I saw his mother sleeping on the couch at ang tatay naman niya ay nasa telepono, kausap si Sandra. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko pa sinasabi ang dahilan kung bakit siya nagtangkang magpakamatay. It's not my right to talk behind his back while he's lying there, lifeless.

Hindi naman siya brain dead, may signs pa na maayos siya. I'm holding onto that hope na sana maging okay siya. Sana. His mind must be very confused. He must be dying inside knowing that I'm happy with someone else. Ang daya kasi. Bakit ba ako pa ang nagustuhan niya? Madami namang babae dyan na mas deserving sa atensyon na kaya niyang ibigay. Siya ang lalaking papangarapin ng lahat. Napakaresponsableng anak at mabait na kaibigan. He stood by my family when were really at the verge of poverty. He saved me a lot of times.

He guided me with my life.

Now, he could die. Kasalanan ko kasi. Kasalanan ko kasi napakamanhid ko. Kasalanan ko talaga 'to lahat.

"Alex, hija."

"Bakit po Tito Martin?"

"Magpahinga ka naman. Kami na ang bahala kay Ismael. May problema talaga ang anak naming 'to. Ayaw naman niyang sabihin. May problema siya. Ah... hindi ko alam kung tama nga ba ang iniisip ko pero... alam ko kasi dahil may gusto siya sayo. Nakakahiya, Alex. Nakakahiyang sobra sayo." Nalungkot ako bigla.

"A... alam ko na ho. Sinabi niya..." I started crying. Himagulgol ako na parang bata. I can feel my heart aching for him. Kasalanan ko talaga 'to eh.

Naramdaman ko ang kamay ni Tito Martin sa braso ko. "Hija, sinabihan na namin siya dati pa na tigilan na ang ilusyon niya sayo. Kahit ako, anak na ang turing sayo at hindi ako palagay na magiging iba bigla ang turing sayo ng anak ko. Mabait naman 'yan si Ismael. Napakasipag niyang bata, pero kapag nagalit naman eh nakakatakot. Minsan nga... bigla na lang siyang nag-inom na di ko alam ang dahilan. Galing siyang Maynila noon. Nagbasag siya ng madaming gamit. Halos ubos ang gamit sa bahay. Lagi silang nag-aaway ni Sandra."

"B... bakit ho ba talaga sila nagpakasal ni Sandra? Sa totoo lang ho, nagulat na lang ako."

"Sabi nila, pinikot daw si Ismael. Ako naman sa tingin ko, nakita niyang disenteng babae si Sandra. Mabait na bata naman 'yon at maaalahanin. Laging nagluluto at mabait na asawa. Okay naman sila nung mga naunang buwan pero biglang naiba."