In Too Deep

23

"Well how you getting on with the reading text?" Robyn asked Riley after the rest of the students had left for the day.

"Yeah it's interesting, it's a bit of dystopian nightmare, made even scarier by the fact that it's not that implausible."

The teacher smiled as Riley sat down at the side of her desk. "That's nice actually, you should think about using that in your essay."

"Can't, I read it on the blurb thingy on the back of the book. The New York times said that so it'd be plagiarism." Riley grinned.

Robyn punched her shoulder playfully, "you're such a goofball."

"Goofball? What are you 12?"

The blonde smirked and bit down on her bottom lip.

"Really though it's not an easy read, and I don't just mean because I find words difficult. The subject matter is intense it's essential state sanctioned rape."

""Yeah. And I think it also speaks to a number of themes, obviously the gender divide, but then there is almost classic racism- a lot of the Martha's are women of color."

The teacher nodded, "what do you make of Moiras character?"

"Well she's a rebel isn't she, she epitomises the point of the book in one character."

"How do you mean?"

"Like she's a feminist, lesbian it's like the ultimate rebellion to a state where men are the rulers and sex is about procreation."

"I think you're getting there. Your making some good arguments. Now what you have to do is relate it back to the text and some of the other things we've learned. Like color imagery."

Riley furrowed her brow.

"Think about it. The handmaids where what colour?"

"Red."

"And what does red say to you?"

"Danger."

"What else?"

The biker looked bemused.

"What if I was to say scarlet."

"Well a scarlet lady is promiscuous. So scandalous. Adulatory. Dangerous."

"Yeah red is passion, danger, sex. It also means stop."

"So by that thinking the wives are in an almost teal blue green."

"Pure like water is blue, and green is like the earth but unlike the earth they're not fertile."

The teacher smiled, "so what else could the green mean?"

"Green eyed monster. Jealousy."

"So think about all of that stuff. I can get you a scribe for the mocks at the end of the year if you want but you need to submit the course work the best you can. I can't help, it would be unethical but maybe you could ask someone you trust to have a read through them. And this is a phone number for a charity that supports people to get a test for dyslexia and can help out with some support. I know that coloured paper helps and u think settings on any computer would be able to change the color of the background screen."

Riley nodded, slightly embarrassed by the conversation.

"There's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It's the equivalent of them walking you into the water and helping you to float."

The brunette smiled at the teacher's choice of analogy. "Thank you. For doing this I mean."

——-

Things carried on in that fashion for almost six weeks. A mix of compassion m, learning and a bit of flirting.

Robyn was confident in the water now and was swimming a bit at a depth where she could stand up.

Riley was improving in English they settled on Wednesday lunchtime for the extra tuition after Coach Sanderson persuaded her to join the swim team.

It was a Sunday mid November when Riley walked Robyn out the front entrance to the pool and into the arms of a waiting woman, the woman was a lot older her light brown hair was graying, it was short but not cut the same as the bikers. She has a square jaw and she noticed how she smiled at Robyn.

"Riley, this is Chris." Robyn noticed the brunette gulp as the twinkle disappeared from her eyes.

"Hi." The newcomer offered her hand. 

Riley shook it. "Hi, I'll see you tomorrow. Nice to meet you." She walked away to her bike, somewhere in her head she'd thought that maybe the teacher was waiting for her to graduate, she'd been flirting a bit but not too much and she thought it had been reciprocated. Obviously not, Robyn had been seeing someone else. She pulled her helmet on and revved the bike up before pulling away at full speed.

——

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Robyn asked, trying to get a conversation from an unusually quiet Riley.

"Nothing much Dad's out of town on exercise."

"You spending it with Chris?"

Robyn noticed an edge to the question. "No since college I've always spent it with Demi. I thought you were going to Theresa's"

Riley looked confused, Theresa she thought, "Teri you mean? No."

"It's just Dorothea was saying that her sister's new partner was coming to dinner."

Riley put her book down. "I haven't seen Teri since homecoming. Nothing happened between us."

"Oh, I saw you kissing the night of the dance just assumed."

"No, she kissed me. I told her that I didn't want to take it any further."

Robyn looked on as Riley started to pack her bag, "why?"

"You're telling me you've not worked it out yet? Why would I spend so much time trying to be with you, making sure you're okay, trying to make you smile."

Robyn stood up. She looked on as the student packed away her things. "What are you saying?"

"I'm in love with you, Robyn. You gave me permission to fall and you know what when I started I couldn't stop, I could just about handle you not loving me back, but knowing you love someone else. It sucks." Riley put her bag over her shoulder, "I can't do this to myself anymore. I have been holding onto a notion that if we could get through the year, then maybe." She shrugged her shoulders, "just spending time with you, and the hope that in the future you'd be free to love me too. It was enough, the couple of hours we had like this and in the pool was enough. But I know now that you have someone. I should be wearing green." Riley left the class.

Robyn stood stunned. There was only one thought left in her mind, she loves me. She loves me too.