Embracing love

- 34 -

Zephyr

"Dear, are you ready to go to school now?"

I heard Esme knocking our room's door.

It's been days since I saw Mr. Zeev. And it still hurts me whenever I think about him.

I hurt him.

And it hurts me too.

Esme hugged me as I cry again.

Everything screams at me, like my whole body was torn into pieces, all my system was numb and my energy all left me.

I feel like I was drowning, suffocating and cannot breath.

Like the air was choking me. My breath was suffocating me. Like my Existence was killing me.

I just cried and let Esme comfort me.

He was like the only reason I'm alive and breathing right now.

"Dear, can I tell you something? It is actually my secret." He said out of the blue.

It piqued my interest.

"Hmmm?" The only reply I could give.

"Well yesterday, when I was picking you up, minutes before I saw you crying while entering the car. I felt pain. Like my body is telling me that something is wrong with my mate. Like my mate was drifting away. A feeling that I was losing someone. Then I saw you entering the car and the feeling grows stronger. I thought it was you. Yet something is telling me otherwise. A premonition or gut feeling." He told me.

Not me?

"Then who do you think it is?" I asked, breaking our hug and looking directly at his eyes.

What is happening?

Did he also have another mate? Or I am not his mate anymore?

Am I losing another mate too? Did I lose Esme too?!

Oh God please no.

I can't bear it.

"Well, I am guessing it was your other mate my dear. It was just a guess. I am not yet convinced about it." He said.

What's happening? I'm already confused with everything that's happening right now. This destiny, why do it keeps playing with my fate? Why does it like to play with me? I just wished to be happy and contented. I didn't ask for power, for fame, or richness. Just happiness. Just someone to be with me and be contented.

Why is it always me?

Why do I always have to face those suffering.

Ever since I opened my eyes, I saw pain, suffering and tears. I even saw blood. The father that was supposed to care and protect me was the one who showed me that people are bad , they give pain, they will stomped you down till you can't get up no more. The so called friends who used and left me. All of them left me alone and helpless. But my mama, she was the only one who cares for me. I only knew love through my mother. The only person who loved me truly and showed me that there are good at everything. But why did she have to be taken away from me? Why do I have to lose him?

Now I also lose Zeev, Am I losing Esme too?

What is it now? What does joke destiny gave to me? Does destiny saw me funny?

Why do I always have to be hurt? Why do I always have to feel pain? Why do I always be left alone? Can't I be happy? Can't I be successful? Can't I get what I want like others? Can't I have my own happiness?

Why is it happening to me now again?

I can't bear with another unknown problem anymore.

"Dear, I am guessing it was..." He paused.

What? What it is now?!

"Something is telling me it was your other mate. Like I also feel your mate bond with him, or I have a bond with him, I do not know what exactly it is." He continued.

What?

I'm still confused.

It can't be right?

"I don't really fully understand" I said.

"I am also quite confused my dear. But isn't it good to see your other mate and see the answer to all our questions and solve the confusion? I do not want to rush you to decide it now my love, but I do not like seeing you hurt also." He explained

See him?

But what if he doesn't want to see me anymore? What if I hurt him too much that he hates me. What if he doesn't want to have anything to have with me after what I did to him. Am I ready to see him? To feel his anger and pain?

Am I ready for it?

But when would I be ready for it? If not now, is it tomorrow? Or the next year? Or maybe never . I'll never be ready to face Zeev and hurt him once again.

But is hurting him the only answer?

"I think you're right, I wouldn't answer all of my questions if I keep questioning my self or keep running away from the problems."

I need to see him.

I need to see Zeev.

"I want you to remember that I am here for you, mamá and papá also. Specially our baby boy Zylak is there with you. You are not alone. You will never be. " He kissed my forehead.

"But will your parents be upset about this? Will they be mad at me for giving you problems?" I asked.

I would never be able to show my face to Esme's parents again. I hurt their son too. I promised to make their son happy but all I do is give problems and headache. I don't really deserve Esme.

"My dear, I will always remind you that you never give me problems. We are mates, what's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours. We share and solve it together. Being mates means we will be with each other at anything that comes to our lives, it can be happiness, sadness, problems, or achievements, we have each other's back. And mamá and papá will never be mad at you for this stuffs, and besides I already told them and asked about this. Papá is looking for answer now, mamá is also worried for you, she even wants us to live with them temporarily to be with you. They want to help you as much as I do
And besides this is our problems, we are mates remember that. And there is something we couldn't do if we solve it together " He said.

I really hopes that he is right, because  I'm really so confused and in pain right now. I couldn't do this on my own.

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(Is it time for Zephyr to choose now? Hmm 🤔)