The Oleander Woman [Free Space Series #1]

CHAPTER 40: her pov (6)

"Birthday n'ya ngayon." Rinig kong pagpaparinig ni mama sa gilid ko.

I continued eating my food and didn't bother responding to what she had said. Nandito kami ngayon sa uncle john's, nakipagkita rito si mama. Hindi ko siya hinahayaang magpunta roon sa puder ng tatay ko dahil nga sa mga ugali ng kamag-anak ko na nandodoon. Ayokong makarinig siya ng mga masasakit na salitang palagi kong naririnig sa bibig nila.

"Debut nun ngayon.. naku, malamang maghahanda ng bongga ang papa nun."

I sighed. But mama continues.

"Nagpadala nga sa'kin ng mga pictures sila Tirseng, e. Dalaga na talaga si Miss Amhara. Nakakatuwa, 18th birthday niya ngayon."

"I know."

"Anong plano mo?" Mabilis at marahan na idinugtong niya. She doesn't want to offend me.

"I don't.. have a plan.." Iniling ko ang ulo ko. "Mama, p'wede bang huwag na muna natin siyang pag-usapan? I'm not comfortable."

"Pero anak.." matunong na napabuntong hininga ang mama bago ako himasin sa balikat ko. "Anak.. kung ano man 'yang tumatakbo sa isip mo, nandito lang ako para makinig. Mahal mo naman siya diba?"

"Of course, I do love her. "

"Kung gano'n.. gagawan ko ng paraan. Huwag kang matakot dun sa tatay niya. Ano bang gusto mo? gusto mo bang tawagan ko sila Tirseng at manang para naman magkausap kayong dala-"

"Hindi na po, hindi na po, mama," pipigilan ko siya. "Mama? Hindi ba kayo natatakot sa buhay niyo?"

"Kung ang kapalit naman nun ay ang kaligayahan mo, bakit hindi-"

"No. No. Don't say that." I shook my head and held her hands tightly. 

Honestly? Hindi ko alam kung magagawa ko pa bang kausapin si Tamg dahil pinutol ko na lahat ng puwede naming maging daan para mag-usap ulit. I blocked her on all of my social media accounts, just like her father wanted me to do.

I don't even have the power to talk to her right now. I don't know if I can handle a conversation with her.

I have no choice but to stare at the letter I wrote for her.

Dear Tamg,

Tonight, as I sit to write this, my heart is heavy with pure sadness and regret. I always dreamed of you, Tamg. I can't help but think back on all of our memories together. It feels like only yesterday when we first met, and little did I know how much you would mean to me.

I recall the laughter that filled your entire room, the way your eyes sparkled with happiness, and the warmth of your touch, which gave me comfort. But life has its own way of changing things, doesn't it?

I've made the difficult decision to leave, and although it breaks my heart, I have no choice but to do it. I want you to know that I am truly sorry for leaving you. I never meant to cause you any pain, baby, trust me, all I ever wanted was to see you happy. To see you happy in my arms.

happy 18th birthday, even though I won't be there to celebrate it with you. God knows how hard it is for me. But please.. please remember that even if we are no longer at each other's sides, my love for you will never fade.

You deserve nothing but the whole world, Tamg. I refuse to let this be the end of us. I'm sure our paths will cross again someday to fix what happened to us and to continue our begining.

Take care, my Amhara. I love you.

"PRE! PROMISE! Hindi ka magsisisi d'yan kay Kaori, magaling 'yan!"