The Oleander Woman [Free Space Series #1]

CHAPTER 62: Feelings

"Kaori, you're drunk-"

"No! I'm not!" She let go of the hug and wiped her tears disappointedly, like she was disappointed in what was happening right now.

Even I was surprised and confused by how the situation changed so quickly.

I have to slightly look up to look at her. Her eyes were staring into mine. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nervously looked away. 

"I'm not fucking drunk! My mind is working properly, and I can understand every bit of the things happening at this moment."

Anxiety starts to grow inside of me.

This.. is what I'm afraid of the most. There's so many what-ifs building up inside of my head. What if she hates me even more after hearing my explanation? What if she throws everything away when I tell her what my true reason is? After all, seven years is too much, just like what Lynpen said. 

Fuck! I'm going insane. I don't want to talk about it. I know damn well I will break down again, but this time in front of her.

"Why did you left, Tamg? Why did you left me? Tell me, please? What's your reason? T-Tatanggapin ko kahit ano.. just please.. please tell me why you did that.. I deserve an explanation."

My lips trembled as my eyes and nose began to burn from hearing her voice beg for the answer I had been keeping hidden for so long.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. I don't trust my voice not to crack when I say those words. 

"No, no, I don't need that. What I need is your explanation, Tamg. Tell me, tell me why you leave me.. tell me what's the reason behind all of this."

Nang lumuhod siya at hawakan ang mga kamay ko, hindi ko narin napigilang maluha habang tinititigan siya.

"Manipulate me.. do whatever you want, I just want to hear your explanation."

This is too much.

"Kaori, please stand up," lumuhod din ako at pilit siyang pinapatayo.

But she just won't move!

"I tried everything. I tried everything to make you suffer just like what you did to me, but it seems like I'm the one who suffered even more." She laughs bitterly. "You left and went to Paris, became famous, and forgot about me." 

"Kaori-"

"How'd you do that, Tamg? Habang ako.. halos hindi na makabangon kasi nawala ka."

I reach over and grab her hand with one of mine and wipe her tears with my other.

"Do you know how shocked I was when I saw you in the news? I saw you smiling with happiness in front of the interviewer while you explained to her the dress you just made. That's my first hearing about you after you left, and it hurt me so bad after realizing that you already achieved your dream to be a fashion designer without me by your side." 

"That's my first hearing about you after you left, and it hurt me so bad after realizing that you already achieved your dream to be a fashion designer without me by your side." 

"That's my first hearing about you after you left, and it hurt me so bad after realizing that you already achieved your dream to be a fashion designer without me by your side." 

Her words kept repeating inside my head, I couldn't move a single part of my body. 

"It's only been three years. It's only been three years. Tamg, I'm still hurting from that time, yet you're already happy."