An Unpredicted "Us"

You Vs...

I heard a quote once. It went something along the lines of 'Those who find what they are searching for will never need anything in place of it'. And now I can't unhear that quote. Because if there is one thing I know, my pussy refused to allow another man to touch it, yet when Ryan says my name...it melts my fucking panties.

How? How am I supposed to move on from sex with Ryan and sleep with someone else when the only way I am getting wet is when I think of him?

Why is this even a 'thing'? I'm supposed to be a free, fun, and almost twenty-year-old girl who gets to go to college, live her life, and sleep with people on occasion. Not some girl who can't get wet with other men because she's stuck on her best friend's thirty-three-year-old father!

I'm not even going to think about the fact that I grew up with this guy. In my defense he was young. I met Lacey when I was eight and Ryan was just barely old enough to drink. I thought he was Lacey's brother for the longest time.

Thinking back on it. My dad thought Ryan was Lacey's brother for years. When I told him it was Lacey's father my dad decided to be a dick and dig into their family history. He wanted me to stop hanging out with Lacey. Then my mom snapped at him, telling him he didn't get the right to choose my friends. I miss my mom.

My parents were in a car accident the day I turned eighteen. It was my birthday and they had gone out to get the cake. They never came back.

It was a closed-casket funeral because the car went up in flames. It was a nasty wreck. They were stopped in town at a stoplight. There was a leak somewhere in Dad's car that no one knew about. A semi had been going twenty miles over the speed limit. It slammed into the car, causing it to burst into flames.

When they were able to finally get the fire under control there was nothing left. The coroner did the best they could but even that wasn't helpful to know if my parents died on impact.

Most people would be lost or 'dead to the world' and most people couldn't bluntly state how their parents died. But the thing is. I hurt in the beginning, but I am completely fine now. I guess I am built differently. My mind understands that I live once and even though my parents are gone, there is not a damn thing I can do to ever get them back.

So, after the funeral, I placed a vow to myself that I would keep pushing forward, live my life, never forget them but forget what happened to them, and work my ass off to become what I want.

And then there was the minute of suing the semi company. I had lawyers up my ass calling me every day. And so, I collected a lawyer. They of course said they'd work for free until I won the case because they knew I would. It's been almost two years since I've gone to court twice, and now it's between whatever my lawyer does, and the company does. I told my lawyer at this rate, just do whatever and take whatever, I will sign whatever.

As I struggle to work on my assignment my phone decides to buzz and interrupt my struggle. My heart gallops for a second and my fingers fall numb as I see a text from Ryan.

Why is he texting me?

"Can we talk?" I read and instantly feel a wave of emotions running through me. "It's kind of important."

I bite my bottom lip and raise my head in annoyance. "No, it's not." I write. "And you can't be texting me! This is not okay!"

"Please!" He writes and everything in my body is fighting my brain. My brain is fucking smart! It's saying no! My heart, stomach, pussy, and...everything else is saying go for it!