An Unpredicted "Us"

A Part Of Me

There was a time when I was a child when someone saved my life. Well, as a child we were overdramatic so I will never know if they saved my life or if I was being overdramatic. And it was Ryan.

I remember being eight or nine. Lacey and I were enjoying a scorching summer day swimming in the pool Ryan and Brenda had just got. It was a deep pool! I recall Lacey splashing water in my face because we were kids, that's what you did. Except, I didn't know how to swim, and this was a huge pool.

Water filled my mouth and the next thing I remember was my arms flailing in the air, choking on the water, and then screaming. Lacey was trying to help pull me toward the ladder, but she was failing. I kept kicking and screaming, which made it impossible for her to help.

The sunny day made me see the bottom of the pool and it looked so far down. My heart was beating so hard it was bursting through my chest. My head felt numb, I was fucking terrified. I screamed and screamed. No one but Lacey was around.

And then in a quick flash, I remember that terror turning up a notch because Lacey was no longer in the pool with me. She was gone and I was all alone. It's fucking hell to drown all alone.

I fought and fought but the water was winning. I couldn't do anything besides allow it to take over me and pull me under. And then it happened! A pair of hands swooped me out of the water, saving me, making that terror disappear in an instant as I looked up at the angel known as Ryan.

Water smacked his face as I spit it out. I remember gasping for air and feeling like my world had ended and then he restarted it. My heart instantly started slowing down and my anxiety started to disappear. I never knew what fight or flight was and that day I had both inside of me. I fought, then I gave up and tried running but I was drowning.

I never imagined in a million years what I woke up feeling today. Twelve years after that man saved my life, I feel like he is saving it again. Yeah, sure. The sex between us is fucking phenomenal. Brenda was a complete dipshit for cheating on him, yet at the same time if you don't love someone, you're not bound to stay with them and that is her problem.

But! It makes me jealous as hell that Ryan has to be around Brenda all day today. This fucking wedding is going to be amazing, but me being at it and watching Brenda try to claw her way into Ryan's pants. I want to fucking punch her already! And I am not a violent person...until today.

In a way, Ryan has saved me by making me feel wanted and comfortable. I feel so fucking safe around him. And the thing is...I don't allow people to let me feel safe around them. I know I am the one who takes care of myself. No one can do it for me. At the end of the day, I'm responsible for me. So, the thought that I somehow let him make me feel comfortable. That means one thing. I feel something for him.

"Hannah!" Lacey calls out my name bringing me back to reality and this wedding that is fucking gorgeous. "Are you okay?"

I nod and look down at my tight but beautifully handmade dress. It's a deep blue and it shines. It's strapless and the length reaching my knees couldn't be any more perfect. I feel like a million dollars.

"I'm good!" I say and look over at our crew of friends, finally together for the first time in what feels like forever. Lacey, Claire, Macey, Becca, and I all came back together.

We girls have needed this night out. It's been forever and being at this wedding reception feels like we are in a millionaires mansion. Everything is white! It's outdoors overlooking a massive lake. It has two giant tents with warm lights surrounding every inch of this location, wherever the hell we are. The tables are set with fine China and center placements that look like ice sculpted into swans. It's beautiful.