An Unpredicted "Us"

Remember

My college classes are getting out of control! I love working my ass off and going for my goals! I want to be in a position of power and have enough money to make sure I can survive in this crazy world. But these classes! Fuck! They are a pain in my ass.

I chose to do this. I wanted to become an Architect. I chose this path. But it's an amazing path and the money I'd be making alone forces me to work this hard.

The innovations. The designs. The way my school wants me to plan this assignment all out. It seems stupidly hard to do! And...Okay! I need to be honest with myself. I am not fighting with my schoolwork. I am fighting the thought that keeps pushing into my brain. The fact that Ryan and I bumped into each other and there was a 'ting' of something there!

I don't know what that 'ting' was or why it exists considering Ryan and I will never be anything more than 'My best friend's dad' and that's that! Nothing more. He's an amazing man! He's...

There I fucking go again!

"Hannah!" Claire calls out and I hear the apartment door shut. "Where you at?"

"Literally in front of you!" I shake my head in annoyance. If she couldn't act any goofier! "On the couch! What could you possibly need that would disturb me from finishing my assignment."

She waltzes in, bubbly with a wide smile. "So about last night." She forces a wider smile. "I don't think it was me that went down on you. I want to say it was one of Ryan's friends."

I toss my laptop onto the other side of the couch. "What the fuck do you mean one of Ryan's friends? Do I need to get tested? And what makes you think it was one of them?"

"Because..." She turns her head away, refusing to look at me. "I recall some of that night and I don't want to believe it was Ryan, because that would suck ass for Lacey. But. I think it was Ryan. So, let's just say it was one of his friends. And if anyone else asks ever again. It was me! Because we all know I am very 'playful' and comfortable with it. But Hannah! It was NOT me. And that I am certain of."

I clench my teeth and yank on her shirt, pulling her closer to me. "Are you fucking telling me, Ryan might have been the one who went down on me? And if so, are you trying to tell me he doesn't remember...or he does remember and he's hiding it."

She kisses my forehead playfully and pulls back. "He'd remember. Hannah. Out of all our friends, you're the fucking smoke bomb! You are stupidly attractive, and I know damn well if Ryan did go down on you, he knows. And he's hiding it."

My heart sinks to my stomach. My face feels numb. My anxiety is somehow twisted with an arousing excitement. "Fuck! Claire! If it was him, what am I supposed to do? How do we...what do we...fuck! This is bad! This is really bad! I'm not even attracted to the guy! He's not attracted to me. This is not supposed to...we are not...fuck!"

"Calm down!" Claire presses her hands on my legs, stopping me from getting up and pacing back and forth. Because that's what I want to do right now. I am fucking freaking out!

I exhale a shaky breath, push her hands off me, and start pacing the living room. "Having some thirty-three-year-old man going down on me? Not an issue!" I exclaim. "I am the oldest of my friends and turn twenty next week. Getting drunk and not remembering him going down on me? Not an issue either. If it is my best friend's dad! BIG FUCKING ISSUE!"

"Yes..." Claire agrees and pauses. "But look at the bright side. If it was him, neither one of you will ever admit it and there is no way of it ever getting out to Lacey if it was him."