Risk it, Lose it (Remington Series 3)

Chapter 34 -Wounds of the Past

Rylee's POV

Napalunok ako sa sinabi niya. Hindi pa ako handa. Ilang beses kong sinabi sa sarili ko na wala pa akong plano para sa aming dalawa.

"No, Tristan," sabi ko. "You—, you're just confused."

I scoffed at him. Napakaimposible kasi kung bigla niyang sasabihin sa akin na gusto niya ako. The first time we crossed paths, he filled my world with sharp-tongued insults, making it clear he wanted nothing to do with me.

I was certain he'd moved on from the tangled mess we once were. Ngayon, sinasabi niya sa akin na gusto niyang ibalik ang dati? Anong ibabalik? 'Yung panloloko ko sa kaniya? I think his confusion stems from the fact that the children are now in the picture.

"Confused?" hindi makapaniwala niyang sabi.

"Yeah, I mean," I paused, unsure of what to say to him. "Well, I have plans, okay?"

He didn't respond, he just stared at me intensely, as if expecting me to spout nonsense.

"Okay, let's hear your plans."

Umigting ang panga niya.

"Kailangan ko pa kasing mag-ipon para sa pang-aral nila, tapos para na rin sa apartment na titirhan ko. Kailangan ko rin maghanap ng trabaho sa Maynila para may pantustos ako sa kambal."

I was proud of my plans. See? I won't just sit and drain all your money, Tristan. May plano na ako para sa sarili ko at para sa kambal.

"May ipon naman na ako pero hindi ko kasi sigurado kung kasya ba 'yon gayong mas malaki ang gastos sa Maynila," pagpapatuloy ko. "Uhm... pwede naman akong maghanap banda kila Liese noon, sa Tondo, ayos naman siguro roon dahil—"

"Where am I?" he asked, his voice betraying the pain within.

I paused. His eyes were now void, a pitch black gaze directed at me like daggers.

"You already planned your life, you already have a plan for everything. Where am I?" pag-ulit niya.

Hindi muli ako nakasagot. Hindi ko siya maintindihan. He's just confused! He hated me. I saw the hatred in his eyes that night. He doesn't want me. He's only saying this now because we have kids.

"Nasaan ako sa plano mo, Rylee? Are you going to drop me like there was never an 'us'? Will you live without me?"

I let out a fake laugh at his words.

"There was never an 'us,' Tristan—"

"Yes, there was!" he shouted. " I felt it! I knew it was real. Don't play me with your 'hindi kita minahal' line, Rylee. I know what I felt. I know what happened. Hindi ako tanga."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita. He was furious. It's like the patience he had held onto for so long finally snapped.

"Why are you so eager to get back together, Tristan? You insulted me like I was a damn lowlife not matching your life!" I laughed bitterly. "Kaya mo inimbita si Dylan sa bahay mo noon, 'di ba? He was invited so you could show me how your life got better without me. How extravagant your life became while I struggled because I couldn't keep up."

There it was. My anger finally surfaced. I had chosen to ignore it before, but Tristan had hit a nerve. He exposed the harsh truth that stung my ego.

Tristan's brow furrowed. He looked confused and hurt.

"What do you mea—"

"Don't act stupid, Tristan! Maiintindihan ko pa kung galit ka talaga sa akin! You insulted me when we first met. Oo, tama ka! I was a lowlife, a servant, and I had sleepless nights because of my leaky roof," my voice trembled. "Kaya bakit mo ko hinahabol nang ganito ngayon? Noong nakita mo ang mga bata, biglang nagbago ang opinyon mo sakin?"