UNDER Series #1: I'm in love with your eyes.

CHAPTER 18

I ran away from our house that night. Hindi ako pwede manatili doon dahil sa bigat na nararamdaman ko.

Ang sakit pa rin ng mga salitang binitawan sa akin ni Papa. But, the thought that he gave me, marked.

Baka nga tama siya, baka nga hindi pa talaga ako handa...

I was just walking around trying to clear my mind from everything that happened. I received a lot of feelings and thoughts as I felt lost. I'm now walking barefoot down an unfamiliar street while holding the heels I wore earlier.

My feet are now bleeding because of how long I'm walking. I can't throw these shoes; these are custom-made chrome heart heels that Kuya Cloud gave me when I turned 16. It's been 2 years, but it still fits me. This was the second time I wore this because I thought this day would be special.

My phone keeps vibrating, and I slowly look at the screen when I see Drix's phone number. Napadaan ako sa isang kana at itapon ang cellphone ko doon. I want to be alone, I want time for myself, and I know if I answer that phone, they'll track me down.

I'm such a mess; my hair was messed up, my make-up was messed up, my feet were messed up, and I messed up.

Hindi ko na alam kung anong oras na, pa lalim na ng pa lalim ang gabi pero parang hindi napapagod ang katawan ko. Hindi pa rin maalis sa isip ko kung sino ang sinasabi ni Papa. I only knew a few people here.

"It can't be Bea..." I whispered to myself as I shook my head.

It can't be Bea, she was so clumsy and couldn't handle herself well. She was harmless, she was just a pure girl who loves teasing and playing around like a normal student and a friend. After all, matagal na nag aaral si Bea sa eskwelahang pinapasukan namin kaya impossible na siya si Hannarah.

I know her daughter should be the same age as me, and she just came here. Bea has been studying at our school since she was a kid. So it can't be her.

"Argh!" I shouted as I gripped my hair and pulled it out. Hindi ko na alam kung anong iisipin ko.

Bobo ba ako? Bobo ba ako, para hindi mapansin kung ano ang nangyayari sa paligid ko?

My breath started to get heavy again as I felt that I was getting suffocated by my own thoughts. Kinukulong na naman ako ng nararamdam ko. I can feel the heat inside my body rising, and I can see my eyes turning bloodshot.

I kept banging my chest on how doleful I was. I don't know what to do, the tears from my eyes burst out as it rushed down to my cheeks. My lips were trembling, as I looked around to find something to hold onto, because I could feel that any moment from now on I would collapse.

As I turned my gaze, I realized that I was alone, and no one was beside me. There was no Kuya to hold me; he wasn't here to support me.

In this kind of situation it was Kuya who's besides me, he was always the first person to hold and calm me down. He was the person I could cry into, but...he wasn't here.

Sa bawat paghinga ko ay mas lalo kong naramdaman, na wala na akong masasandalan.

I'm hopeless, everyone that I thought would help me wasn't here.

Mama didn't even dared to stand for me. Drix, betrayed me, he could have just said that and explain to me. Maiintindihan ko naman siya, pero mas pinili niyang itago sa akin at pag-mukhain akong tanga.

Even though everyone stayed silent, I could feel, and I'm sure they were judging me. They pity me for not having the position that should have been for me.

I just can't understand why they did that to me. Maiintindihan ko naman kung sinabi nila...

Napatakip na lang ako sa bibig ng bumuga ang bibig ko ng malakas na iyak.