Double Black

only a fool would believe

A/N- im a sincere fyozai shipper now (real not clickbait)

"Give it up, shitty Dazai. It's not going to work."

For the twentieth time that evening, Dazai sighed exaggeratedly, as if he was really so frustrated, "But, I'm one hundred percent serious! I promise I'm not lying; what can I do to make you believe me?!"

Barely looking up from his wine glass, Chuuya just sighed, "Your promises don't mean much, you know."

An immediate, affronted gasp, "Wha-! How rude! I'll have you know I always speak in factually correct statements."

"Bullshit."

Well, let's back up a little bit. The day started as normally as ever. Both halves of Yokohama's Deadliest Duo woke up as usual, had a quick breakfast together before parting ways and going off to their separate workplaces. The gravity manipulator dutifully completed all his missions and attended all his meetings, as usual, whereas the other one lazed around, serving to be a bother to everyone around him.

Except, some of his co-workers would undeniably argue that the annoyance factor was much worse than usual today. Everyone got pranked and joked with every time they even tried to breathe in peace. Yosano's surgical instruments went missing, Haruno-san's cat had a different collar than usual, Kunikida's pens had all been messed with to have caps that did not match, Atsushi had more paperwork than his own share- scratch that; that was pretty much an everyday thing.

All this nuisance surely had to do with the date today. It was April first, after all. April Fool's Day. Anybody who's worked at the Agency for even a day would know Dazai enough to expect such behaviour from him, especially on a day that was solely dedicated to pranks and white lies. Which continued on to his home life, even after work hours.

The detective returned home to an apartment that wasn't empty for once. His partner was home before him, curled up on the couch, wine glass in hand and some terrible sitcom playing on the TV. Dazai had heard the dialogue for five minutes now, and it wasn't even funny. What was the point of watching such a thing then!

Wait no, back to the point. Dazai was seriously trying to break some very important news to his little chibi of a partner. Which, said petit mafia refused to believe a word of. In his own words, he's spent way too much time with the shitty mackerel, and hence had enough brain prowess to have the ability of not buying any of his bullshit.

Dazai tried again, "See, I'm telling you-"

Chuuya groaned, "Listen. I'm well aware that it's April Fool's today, okay? I had to suffer Tachihara messing with Gin for the entire day. And Kajii leaving scented bombs all over the fucking office. Did I mention even Hirotsu-san was helping out Tachihara?! And Gin got fed up with all this and decided to join them and try to pull pranks on Akutagawa."

Forgetting his extremely important mission for a bit, Dazai asked curiously, "How did that turn out?"

The mafia executive deadpanned, "Tachihara got a new haircut, and Gin needed to find a new mask. Courtesy of Rashoumon."

Dazai cackled, "I've taught him well!"

For a second, it looked like Chuuya was going to verbally disagree, but he let it slide. All for the sake of his peaceful evening. Instead he made his point yet again, "Yes, so. I'm well too aware of the sort of day it is today. Nothing you say is going to work on me."

Dazai complained, "But I really am getting married, Chuuya!"

Rolling his eyes, his partner pointed out, "You're already married. To me."

The certified genius clapped his hands together, "That's exactly why we're having this conversation! I'm going to need a divorce! So I can finally marry my beloved, my one true love, the light of my life!"