Double Black

look chuuya, i just want a divorce

Dazai Osamu was a simple man (he really wasn't). At the ripe age of twenty-four, there wasn't much he wanted. He had a (questionably enough) stable job at the Armed Detective Agency; even though he lazed around more often than not, he was way too much of a genius to be a dispensable employee. He had a great place to live in, that is, the wonderful penthouse he shared with his equally wonderful husband. No seriously, the penthouse was great. Dazai got to wake up to Yokohama's beautiful skyline every single day.

He also got restaurant quality food every day; his husband was a good person and made him food, knowing he wouldn't really bother to eat otherwise. So yes, there wasn't much he wanted at this point of his life. But there was one thing he wanted, and that was a divorce from said wonderful husband. Don't get him wrong, he absolutely loved Chuuya; yes he was married to the infamous Port Mafia executive, and what about it? But he just... Wanted a divorce. The reason to this decision was probably unknown to Dazai himself. Alas, who knows how shitty, genius minds work, right?

But Chuuya simply would not even give Dazai the chance to present him with the divorce papers, and ask for the damn divorce. Really, Dazai had tried five times now, and none of his extremely-well attempts worked. It was safe to say that Dazai was getting just a little annoyed now, after his fifth try.

i.

Dazai had totally planned to get home early for work today. He'd told his partner Kunikida that he would be leaving early and everything too! Of course, his work partner had wanted to know why he had to leave early. To that, Dazai had responded with, "Oh, I'm going to ask Chuuya for divorce today!" Kunikida and Atsushi had, of course, looked at him strangely, but knew better than to ask for an explanation. Unfortunately for everyone, their last mission of the day had run a little longer, prolonging Dazai's wait time till he could finally ask for his long-sought divorce.

So, Dazai got home later than he had planned to. And usually that would be fine, but today he had something important to ask his husband. The universe was obviously against him today, considering said husband was already home before him.

Dazai heard Chuuya humming in the kitchen as soon as entered his apartment. A few strides into the house, and towards the kitchen, and he could see the mafioso cooking in the kitchen, his usual work attire replaced with something more comfortable; namely, he was wearing just an oversized shirt with black boxers underneath.

Chuuya snorted when he saw the bandaged detective, "Took you long enough."

Dazai sighed as he made himself comfortable at the dining table, "Work ran late. I told Kunikida-kun that I needed to be home early, but when has he ever listened to what I have to say?"

Chuuya hummed as he seasoned whatever he was cooking, "Nobody in their right minds should listen to what you have to say, shitty Dazai."

The detective whined, his voice lacking the usual bite, "Chuuya is mean."

The said mean person spoke as he served his soup into two bowls, "Nothing you don't deserve, darling."

Dazai fought down a blush at the nickname, focusing on the food instead, "Is that crab soup?"

His husband nodded as he placed a bowl of the soup in front of him, "Yeah. It's a new recipe actually. Tell me if you like it."

Before Dazai could taste the soup (or bring up the divorce), Chuuya raked his fingers through the other's soft, brown hair, before dropping a kiss to the top of his head and then kissing him soft and proper. Mind you, he could do that only because the taller was seated and he was not. The mafia executive whispered after he'd kissed his husband, "Hi, shitty Dazai."