Enveloped with Love! (Taekook)

CHAPTER XXXVIII

⚠️ Trigger warning!

July 30, 2022- Seoul- Taehyung's residence

Taehyung lay on the cold kitchen floor. The iciness of it seeped into his skin making it prickle and stab but he didn't move from his position...not even an inch.

His phone lay next to him as he continued to stare at the wallpaper. It was him and Jeongguk, after their very first date.

Who would've thought it would come to this?

After Jeongguk had ended the call, Taehyung had cried and wept ...screamed and wailed.

Pulled his hair till his scalp felt raw.. scratched at his throat that felt like it was being strangled.

Rubbed and beat his chest where it hurt... hurt beyond bearing.

His skin was burning, temperature so high that his eyes were going up in his head... He couldn't make out his surroundings anymore, a strange sort of high pitched ringing in his ears as he laid in that semi conscious state.

Mind filled with images of Jeongguk, of their time together. How happy he was...to have someone like Jeongguk.

How blessed he felt to have his love...his warmth... his kindness.

And now it is all gone.

But truthfully, was it ever there? Jeongguk didn't love him.

He didn't. All of it that Taehyung was so sure of was in his head.

What else had his desperate pathetic mind conjured? How could he miscalculate everything so much?

Fresh tears leaked out of his eyes, body too tired to move or sob. His chest felt heavy and continued to get heavier the more he thought about what had happened.

For the past 8 days, he was holding on. Barely but still holding on that his Gukkie will come back. That this person who is treating him so badly is not his Gukkie.

He made excuses for the bad behavior because he had no other alternative.

He was scared for a reason, he concludes now. Maybe somewhere his heart knew that something was wrong, right from the night of the dinner.

He chose to ignore it completely but maybe it was kind of like a sixth sense that kept warning him over and over again that something is terribly wrong.

Maybe he should have figured it out when he confessed to Jeongguk. Opened up to him. Completely bare, so vulnerable... Yet Jeongguk stayed quiet. Shouldn't that have been his first clue that the man did not love him?

His silence was just the calm before the storm and now it was crystal clear to Taehyung.

But he was so blinded by feeling so happy, something that had been missing in his life for almost a decade that when he got even a sliver of that feeling, he grabbed it with both hands like a man starved, not bothering to see that it was, in fact, poison.

Poison that he's willingly taking. Power... that he's willingly handing over for his own destruction.

So maybe he deserves it?

That must be it, right? He deserves to be treated this way.

Because he walked right into the trap with open eyes. So whatever terrible consequence comes of it, he should accept it, right?

What right did he have to complain?

Maybe he is the problem. That is why it keeps happening to him, right?