(+18) Dare Me

Chapter 14: Decisions

Today the office has been quiet. Too quiet for my liking. Since I arrived this morning I haven't seen Michael. And actually, I appreciate it, I don't feel able to see him and I don't want to either. My mind since yesterday has been over thinking and I couldn't sleep much.

That's why I want to spend this weekend with my family. I need to get out of here and distract myself with something else other than being locked in four walls, by myself, and probably thinking about a man who doesn't like me as much as I like him. He hasn't called the office. It's almost noon and he is nowhere to be seen.

I've been trying to work, but my brain keeps going back to his words last night. "I'm not that person you want". Not the person I want? Of course I want him. He can be sweet, caring and even protective when he wants to be. But it seems more like he can't keep his dick in his pants and loves being the player who every girl drops her panties for as soon as he walks in the room.

"Michael called. He's not coming today and told me to tell you to send him an email with the contracts you were supposed to work on today." Cristy snaps and I get back to earth.

"Okay. Thanks." I say not looking at her.

So he called her again instead of me?

He's so childish. We're back again with the 'I won't call you' game. That pisses me off and I continue working with a black cloud over my head for the next few hours. It's past lunch time, I'm not hungry but I can use that time to at least rest my mind and drink a coffee. I grab my phone and wallet. Checking my notifications I see Carlos invited me to have lunch with him two hours ago. I reply saying I had too much work and that now I'm going to eat. Still checking, I see I have 5 missed calls and some lovely texts from Michael.

Look who crawled back from hell...

'Good morning. How are you going to go to work?'

'I'm sorry about last night'

'Don't ignore me. I'm your fucking boss'

'Answer the stupid phone'

'Let's talk tonight. I want to see you'

I smile. But the same smile fades as soon as I remember how quickly this man changes and I'm not up to that. Just three weeks with this man and I feel already drained emotionally. He feels like a fucking tsunami of emotions and at the end of the day, At the end of the day the only one affected is me. He returns to his place and I am left in fucking rubble. If that's how I feel now, what if I was in love with him?.

Dead and ruined for sure.

Ignoring that, I turn off my phone. If he wants to call me, then he can do it through the office phone. I buy a frappuccino and I sit at a table near the window to look out over the city. Since it's past lunchtime, the place is empty and I like it to be that way. Suddenly the door opens and Carlos enters and walks towards me.

"Hey, Ms Lost!" he says smiling and sits next to me.

"Heyy you, sorry I've been busy working" I give him an apologetic smile.

Yeah working...

"I see that, hope your boss is not exploiting you or he's going to have trouble with me" Carlos tries to sound threatening.

Poor thing.

In another stage of my life, I would've dated him, but not now. I'm not looking for a guy who seems like I have to teach him everything. And now that Mr. Asshole is in the picture, I can't see anyone else but him. Carlos is not that bad, but it's a no.

We keep talking for a while and he invites me for a drink tomorrow night, but I tell him I'm going to see my family. But to not disappoint him, I tell him that we can go out next week. After I finish, he walks with me to my office. I'm again alone with my thoughts

When the day is done, I feel happy with the fact that I'm going to see my mom. A 3 hour road trip will help me and my mood will change too. And I want to leave from today. The sooner, the better. I arrive at home and see the time. It's early, 5:30 pm. After thirty minutes packing all my things and Brandys, we start our trip.

Ten minutes after leaving the house I want to put on some music, and I remember my phone is off. I sigh remembering why I did it. As soon as the phone is on, it gets drowned with notifications. 21 missed calls. 1 from my mom and the rest from Michael.

This man needs to sleep and leave me alone.

I'm not even going to check the messages, because there are a lot. I put the music on, and let it drive my mind to another world instead of this one...

But Michael keeps calling and interrupting the stupid music. I better answer or he's going to make me go crazy.

What's his fucking problem now?

"Hello." I answer bluntly.

"Why the fuck didnt you talked to me during the day?" Michael sounds mad. Like really mad.

Good. I don't care.

"I've been working, Mr. Jackson. I thought you already knew it"

"I'm not joking, Alejandra. Why didn't you answer your phone?" he starts to inhale sharply.

"Because... My phone is personal, if you wanted to call me for, obviously, work related things, then I can recall you have the number of that phone which is actually, your office-..."

"I know the fucking number. I wanted to talk to you and you-..." he stops and I hear him mumble something to himself. "Where are you? I want to see you"

"Where am I? That's not your business, boss." I start to get sad when I remember all the things he said "And also, you don't want to see me. I think everything is very clear and please try to keep your word."

"Okay, I can go to your house and we ca-..." He says softly.

This man has some nerves. The rage is getting over me.

"Michael... I'm not in my house. And if you want to know, you're not welcome there anymore. Do you seriously think that after the humiliation you gave me after fucking me and telling me all the corniest stupid things that came to you at the time, I'm going to let you in again and then leave me like an idiot and feeling like a whore in my own house? I'm sure you have many others that would pleasedly do that, but not me."

A single tear runs down my cheek. This feels so degrading. I'm not asking him for a relationship or to be exclusive, for that matter. But it's the fact to feel used. Especially him trying to do things to charm me just for a simple fuck. He could've kept that for him and told me straight away he just wanted sex and avoided the 'you're special' part.

"Princess, let's talk about it. I can pick you up and go to another place, it doesn't have to be your house" he says and I hear desperation.

"I said no. You were clear, and we agreed to just go on like nothing happened. And please stop calling me, I can't keep my phone off or my mom would be scared if I keep avoiding her calls too..." I try to breathe deeply. "Bye Michael, see you in the office next week."

With that, I hung up the call and surprisingly he doesn't call me anymore. As I continue driving, I start to cry. I allow myself to get rid of the anger and sadness. Anger for being so stupid and sadness because I like that man too much.

Thoughts about whether it is a good idea to continue working there or quit come to mind. Well, if it becomes a torture, I have to get out of that place. And if now I'm running away from my own house to not see his ghost, it's going to be worse when I go back to work and have to see him every day.

Decisions, decisions...