(+18) Dare Me

Chapter 32: Routine

I feel bad.
Last night I saw Chris and got dinner with him. One innocent kiss ended up with us having sex.

Last night.
Chris and I arrive at the restaurant he made the reservation. I keep looking around if I get the chance that person who Michael have spying on me. Of course, I don't see anyone.

After dinner we decide to get some drinks at a bar near his hotel. Bad combination. We talk, we dance, we laugh. Something I really need, and I would feel happier if it was with my sweet torture named Michael.

I'm feeling a bit lightheaded and my face feels hot. Too much alcohol definitely. Chris looks drunk too.

"I think we should leave, if I drink more I won't get home walking straight!" I laugh.

"Do you want to come to my hotel?" Chris speaks slurring words. "I want to talk to you about something serious."

I hesitate. What else do we need to talk about if we haven been doing that the whole night? Anyways, I accept. Chris helps me to walk to his hotel room. I have to get seated now. Suddenly the energy has changed and feels a bit tense.

What the fuck?

He gives me a cup of coffee to sober a bit and he drinks one too. Chris seats in front of me and after a minute in silence, he speaks.

"I missed you, you know that right?" Chris says.

"I missed you too, Chris. Tonight made me remember those party nights when we were in high school." I say, trying to talk about something else and not take the path where he wants to go.

"You know it's not exactly that what I was referring... but yeah, I missed that too." Chris walks to me bending over me. "I missed you."

"Christopher, you're getting this wrong... I missed you as a friend and thats it." I say as I get up about to walk to the door.

He steps in front of me and grabs my arm, stopping me. Chris pulls me to his body with his forehead closer to mine.

"Give me another chance, please, honey. You already said you missed me too. I know I fucked up before but I was immature. Let me prove you that we can be together and finish our story. You're beautiful and I have always liked you, you know that."

He keeps going with the litany of sweet words. I want to be pampered, and his words right now, are like a balm to my wounds. I can't stop thinking about my fucking boss.

I close my eyes, and immediately Michaels possessive eyes appear. My body gets tricked by that thought and I kiss Chris. I kiss him with need and deeply.

We kiss for some minutes as we stumble to his bed. I let him touch me but I feel like a traitor because I think it's Michael doing it. Chris is delicate and paused, something completely different than the way Michael makes love to me. Michael is rough and possessive.

Too different men with different ways to make love. My head is spinning and my heart is racing. I think about Michael and that turns me on. It's strange, but right now while Chris is touching me, it's actually Michael who is possessing me.

I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want to see Chris. I want Michael here again with me. Chris leans back taking off my underwear and he gets his trousers and boxers off.

"Are you sure?" He asks while putting on a preservative.

I nod. I can't talk. He smiles and seconds later, he slides himself slowly inside me. More... a bit more... I get frustrated and move my hips upwards to get more of him. That move makes him gasp and he grabs my hips, thrusting fast.

Yes... keep going...

I want more but the dick I want is not this one. Great... now I'm dickmatized by my boss. I miss his dick too. And what's worse, after a few more thrusts, Chris cums and falls on my chest breathing fast.

I close my eyes wanting to cry so bad. I fucking want Michael and everything he gives me. Whatever kind of sex I had before this last month, was wonderful. Now, after Michael, this feels insipid and boring. I need more and only Michael knows how to give me that.

Chris gives me a kiss and gets up, asking me if everything was okay. I say yes, I don't want to hurt him. I get up and go to the bathroom to clean myself. When I close the door, I wet my face with cold water as I look myself in the mirror.

"What the hell did you do to me, asshole?" I whisper to myself thinking about Michael.

Once I'm ready, I grab my purse already wanting to leave. Chris is sitting on the bed looking at me.

"I'm going home."

"No, honey, don't go... you can stay here tonight."

"I don't think it's a good idea, Chris..."

I'm well aware that I'm behaving like a bad person. Like a bitch. That I'm the worst person in the world.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asks softly.

"Sure. I'll let you know when I'm free." I give him a little smile.

After giving him a hug, I leave to my house. I feel the need to get another drink but maybe it's a better option to have it at home and alone. And forget about what I did tonight with Chris.

When the week starts, I haven't heard anything from Chris. I feel so ashamed for that. I'm a bitch with all the letters. I keep looking through my email a million times, but Michael is still missing.

His silence is his answer and I get mad. I get mad knowing that I was never important to him, not a little bit. I was just a fling and I have to face that.

I'm so stupid!

As the days go by, I still don't get news from Michael. I keep going out with my friends and then going back home, only to feel sad when I see the tshirt, the keychain and cry my eyes out, when I smell his cologne.

And my routine stays like that... Every single weekend, going out and drinking, trying to forget the man has me like suffering soul, with alcohol.

Will I ever be able to forget him?