As The Pink Blush Appeared....

8.

As Saanvi entered her hostel after the last day before the vacations began, she came across a group of girls jumping about here and there, packing their luggage. Mala, one of occupants in the room adjacent to Saanvi's, asked her if she was packing and when would she leave for her home. 'Home,' Saanvi sneered at the word and entered her room.

As she entered, she sensed a faint aroma of her perfume she sprayed earlier in the morning. That's how lonely she was. Butshe found nothing wrong with that. She looked around the gloomy room. She hatedbeing trapped in that space there but at the same time it gave her the peacewhich was never there earlier. She opened her Spotify playlists and looked upfor her favourite energy booster. She sighed and went in the balcony. Luckyher! Her room at least had this lone source of fresh air and light, other roomswere quite congested and dark.

 She then checked the direct messages to find Uncle Sani asking her whenshe would visit him and others as the vacations had began. He added that her mother had called her as well. She was tired, tired of everything and just wanted to giveup. She still picked up her ringing phone. "Hello dear, how do you do? Yourvacations began, right? Come over here, we'll visit Uncle Sani. Plus his weddingis also approaching," her mother chirped in her usual jolly voice. "Hello toyou too, mother," Saanvi replies. Her mother said, "Listen, I even made yourfavourite papadi, you'd come this time won't you?" "Ma, I've talked toyou about this earlier as well. I don't want to come back there," Saanvi saidin her serious, deep voice. "What? What will your maternal grandmother say?Think about your Uncle Sani at least," her mother said. "Ma, I've something todo and it's really urgent, bye."

Saanvi sighed deeply. Oh! Where was her life taking her? Why did everything feel so wrong? Why was she feeling numb, drained and lost?

Saanvi loved her family members, who wouldn't?But she hated going back to her home. She was torn and tormented between thepast which seemed nothing but some strange sweet memory, so distant that it appearedunfathomable and formidable. On the hand, she was headstrong about fulfilling herambitions, her dreams. She couldn't explain anything regarding all of this toher family. 

Her family cared about her a lot. But she saw herself as unworthyof their love, care and trust. She felt as if she was carrying a fragile glassalong a rough terrain. She was afraid that everything would shatter, break intomillions and billions of minute pieces and all because of her, just because ofher recklessness. She was terrible and she knew it and hated herself for thesame.