stereotype - matt sturniolo

❥ 𝒾'𝓂 𝓈ℴ 𝓈ℴ 𝓈ℴ𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒾'𝓂 𝓈𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝒶 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝒹ℯ𝓃

𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑶𝑻𝒀𝑷𝑬
(ง'̀-'́)ง

(TW: hidden self harm, hidden self hatred, hidden depression, just sad)

Matt feels horrible.

But he won't let anyone know.

He only told someone how he was feeling like shit once, and he got called selfish after that.

He wants to be anything but selfish. It only happened about a year ago, but since then, he had kept his feelings to himself, being totally selfless.

He'd be the one comforting others, he'd be the one listening to them explaining why they feel like shit, while he was actually the one who needed it most.

The person he opened up to was Rachel. She literally told him "I don't know what to tell you, Matt. You're extremely selfish. You never think of other people and you're always thinking about yourself"

It wasn't true back then either. Even then, Matt was a closed book. But that sentence made him wrap a lock around his pages so he never opened up again.

That's why he'd cry himself to sleep a lot, doing his best to stay silent since he didn't want to seem selfish by waking up his brothers.

He has been doing a very well job on not sharing his feelings for ages. That was until today.

Currently, Matt's cheeks are tear stained as he breaks down into sobs. He feels extra depressed than he usually does. He wants to distract himself from the voices in his head.

He only knows one way to coop with that. His coping mechanism is always the same. Self harm. Self harm. Self harm.

Matt hasn't worn a short sleeve since he became addicted to self harm.

Which was around the age of 13.

It was an accident. He got bullied because of his long arm hair and he was gonna shave his arms.

He ran the blade of the razor across his wrist (even though there wasn't any hair there) and accidentally cut in his skin.

He winched as he dabbed up the blood. Young him didn't want to confess how much he liked it.

He'd do it often, convincing himself he was doing it to prevent the bullying. But he actually just loved the pain.

So, here he is, four years later, still addicted to self harming. "Fuck. I hate myself." Matt sobs, his arms now covered in blood from the deep cuts he gave himself.

Matt's knees give out as he drops to the floor, breaking down into sobs. He tried his best to stay silent, he really did, but he wasn't silent enough.

Next thing he hears is his bedroom door open. His house is pretty old so the floors and doors creak.

Matt's eyes widen as he gets up from the bathroom floor. His door is locked so nobody can get in.

He thinks.

Next thing he knows, is his bathroom door getting kicked out. Matt flinches at the sudden noice.