It was fortunate that tomorrow was a Saturday.
I spent my time quietly lying on Tay's bed with my hands on my stomach. What was the time? I fumbled and reached the bed for my phone. A bright light shone through the darkness. It was 1:15 in the morning. There has been no contact from Tay yet.
Fortunately, my parents said they would spend the night at my grandmother’s house in a row and return in the morning, and my brother sighed as I began talking without hesitation and then told me to do whatever I wanted. Even if my older brother had said, ‘Hurry up and go into the house!’ I had no intention of stopping. I had to finish talking with Tay in some way.
I lay on the bed in the dark house for a long time, remembering my time with Tay. I had an emoticon arm pillow that looked like Tay on my arm. Far from the interior, I looked up at the unpatterned, pure white ceiling.
To be honest, there were times when I initially thought that the actions that Tay showed me were coercion or harassment. But he was always by my side so there was no room for my resolve to avoid him. And as if by magic, I wondered who Tay Tawan was.
For me, the conclusion was the same. I fell in love with Tay as if I were being dragged helplessly by him. It was my first relationship, so I was clumsy and unfamiliar. Was that how you did it? I even thought about it. But he was much better than my doubts.
I couldn’t have imagined wanting to be with Tay at school, on the way home, or even when I got home a few months ago. For me, dating was a distant future, and when it came unexpectedly, it felt like a sweet dream.
Maybe if I broke up with Tay because of this incident, I thought I’d never meet someone like him again in my life. And that I couldn’t have another heart-pounding loving relationship like the one I had with him. Not because Tay was my first time, but because he was a very nice person. I realized it again as I recalled my time with him.
So, I couldn’t break up with Tay. Even if he hated me, I wanted to be by his side.
Beep- beep- beep, beep-
With each button pressed, the house door opened. Of course, it was Tay. I squinted my eyes. The sound of footsteps was strange.
“Ha…”
Tay sighed. I expected him to walk into the room and see me, but he didn’t. I got out of bed slowly and walked toward the door. Tay opened the lid of an unopened 2-liter water bottle from the refrigerator. He drank it while holding it in one hand.
“Te…”
I crammed in the doorway and called him. Tay, who had been drinking water with his head tilted back, slowly turned his eyes towards me.
He nearly spits out the water. He barely drank it all and covered his lips with the back of his hand.
I faced Tay after opening the sliding door that separated us.
“New Thitipoom, why are you here?”
Tay couldn’t continue speaking. As I approached him through the door, I naturally lowered my head and tears welled up in my eyes. The bridge of my nose then twitched. This smell…
“You…”
“…”
"Have you been drinking?”
I know because I’ve had it a few times. I didn’t notice it. until I got closer because he didn’t appear drunk. When he entered the door password, there was a slipping sound and the sound of his footsteps was urgent for some reason. There was a reason for him to drink water.
Tay averted his gaze and bit his upper lip. It reminded me of him before we started dating. He did all sorts of bad things. He, who had always slept curled up in the corner of the classroom, did not even come to school arrived late, and his presence alone disturbed the classroom atmosphere.
