I’d never actually spoken to him, but when it was time to choose courses at the end of the year, I wanted to match with him.
As I expected, I assumed he would prepare for the exam on time, so I decided it didn’t matter which optional courses he chose. It didn’t matter to me because I was mostly judged on my grades, and I usually got decent grades. Then I wanted to boost my chances of being in the same class as much as possible by enrolling in courses that the other students didn’t choose.
It’s now useless.
I never expected the atmosphere to be this gloomy when I first arrived at Tay's house. I’d rather be at home resting. I pinched my earlobes firmly because Tay, who sat opposite me, made me feel awkward and embarrassed.
Instead of eating downstairs like yesterday, I ate breakfast in the living room of a kalae. At the table where we chatted at dawn. When he woke me up, the table was already full, most likely because Tay had purposefully planned a meal here.
Gemini, who was sitting on Tay's lap, raised his face and gazed into his eyes. Tay did not eat in a hurry as usual but he looked at the rice and then slightly looked up at me. I felt like an uninvited guest.
“P'Nu…”
Gemini called me. When I looked up, he was holding out Khao Soi with a spoon and a fork and offered it to me. Oh, I hate it. Because I knew who was creating the atmosphere in this situation, I deliberately raised the corners of my lips.
“Thank you, Gem.”
When I picked up a bowl of rice to accept it, Gemini shook his head and said, “Eeung.” He then says, “Aaa…” I drew the corners of my mouth down as though noticing, then slowly opened my mouth. My mouth was filled with the different flavors. I didn’t expect it to be that big, but my mouth was full. Looking at it now, Gemini picked up one meatball and ate several bites at a time.
Tay was staring at me from the top of Gemini's head. My face stiffened as soon as my gaze met Tay's which I didn't mean to, yet I did it unknowingly.
Tay tilted his head. When he touched Gemini's head, Gemini raised his eyes and smiled. Tay feigned not to see for a moment before raising his gaze upwards and grabbing the spoon Gemini was holding.
“New Thitipoom.”
“…Yeah?”
“Let’s eat and talk.”
I nodded instead of responding, and Tay scooped up his rice.
~
I didn’t like dating advice shows, but now and then, I saw a story on TV about a lover who was dissatisfied because he didn’t express his dissatisfaction. If that was the case, why were you dating in the first place? I used to think like that, but I had no idea I’d become one of them.
Tay and I sat on the floor, looking out into the backyard. Gemini went downstairs. I had nowhere else to look, so I focused on the bamboo in the backyard corner. I’d never seen bamboo planted in a typical house before, but it was understandable given that it was Tay's.
Tay sat on the floor and looked straight ahead with his head tilted. I bit my lips as I was both awkward and shy.
“That…”
Tay spoke up shortly after. I sat quietly waiting for Tay to say something.
“I didn’t mean to tell you.”
“…”
“Because you might not be interested.”
“… What?”
