That Butler, Isekaid (Modern!Reader Insert)

That Butler; Struggle

[A/N; C is bad at feelings and what not, and I am bad at writing but enjoy]

Ciel's internal struggle intensifies as his desires and conflicting emotions consume him. He knows that his thoughts are inappropriate, forbidden even, but the pull of his desires is difficult to resist. He contemplates the idea of dismissing Sebastian, giving himself a chance to be alone with _________, to explore the depths of his desires without anyone else present. But he also realizes the potential consequences of such an action.

His mind races, torn between his duty as the young master and his own desires. In the end, he decides to push aside his inappropriate thoughts, reminding himself of the consequences and the impropriety of acting on them. He takes a deep breath, his voice steady as he addresses Sebastian.

"Sebastian, I believe your presence won't be needed for the time being. Attend to your other duties and allow _________ and I some privacy."

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. He bows slightly, acknowledging Ciel's request. "Of course, my lord. If you require any further assistance, do not hesitate to summon me."

With that, Sebastian gracefully exits the room, leaving Ciel and _________ alone. The air feels charged with tension as Ciel's gaze locks onto _________, his desire still burning within him.

Now Ciel can't help but wonder... Would ________ ever entertain such desires? Would they respond to his touch, his advances? The thought both thrills and terrifies him, as he battles with his own inner demons just as the actual; demon in the room leaves.

Ciel quickly looks away, clearing his throat and steadying his resolve. He must not let himself be consumed by these inappropriate thoughts. He must maintain the boundaries between them, no matter the longing that pulses within him.

_________ seems to notice the slight change in Ciel's behavior and vibe. Tilting their head in confusion, unsure what exactly ails their young lord. So they get closer, leaning down to where he sits in his study. Reaching a delicate hand out.

"You okay C? You look bothered by something.."

________ asks with concern, wanting to know if they could possibly help him. But their sudden closeness causes a spike of desire to strike Ciel. His eyes glancing down at their pretty plump lips. His mind screaming at him to just go in and steal a kiss.

Their breaths lightly mingle with their proximity, though he tries to hold back. To control himself, he mustn't allow himself to do anything to them. But what if? He wouldn't know if he could stop himself once he gets the slightest taste of them. How sweet _______must be...

"C...?"

That word, how _______ calls him, their soft voice. He aches to make them call him more, for them to gasp and be out of breath for him. His desires bubbling under the surface, he can barely keep it all in... Should he..?

Ciel's internal struggle reaches its peak as he battles against his desires and the boundaries he has set for himself. But the proximity of _________ and the sound of their voice only serves to intensify his longing. He wants to taste their lips, to feel their breath against his skin, but he knows he must resist.

Ciel's breath hitches at ______'s words, her concern only fueling the fire within him. He knows he should push them away, maintain some semblance of control, but the desire to surrender to his longing becomes almost unbearable.

He fights to steady his wavering resolve, his eyes locked on _________'s lips as he tries to regain control over his wayward desires. He takes a deep breath, his voice strained but determined. "_________, please... It's not a problem that concerns you. I simply need some time alone to collect my thoughts." He forces a smile, hoping to ease their worries and hide the turmoil within.

"Are you sure..?"

Inside, Ciel's emotions are a tempest, torn between his loyalty to his duty and the allure of his desires. He knows he must resist, must maintain the boundaries they have established. But the pull of temptation is strong, the whisper of what could be tantalizingly close. He wants to give in, to taste the sweetness of their lips, to feel their softness against him. But he fears the consequences, the potential destruction of the delicate balance they have maintained. His emotions are a minefield, and he treads carefully, not wanting to risk losing _________ or their friendship.

"Yes, I assure you _________, it's nothing for you to concern yourself with." *His voice falters for a moment, a hint of vulnerability slipping through.* "Just... give me a bit of time." He hopes ________ will understand the unspoken plea in his words, the silent request for understanding and patience. Ciel's heart races, his mind overwhelmed with desire and indecision. All he can do is pray that _________ won't see through his carefully crafted façade and that their friendship will survive the storm that rages within him.

________ isn't assured by this however, feeling a little sad that he won't be honest with them. So _______ takes on of his hands into theirs, leaning a little closer.

"Hey.. You can tell me anything remember? I may know the future but I can't know what you're thinking if you don't tell me..."

__________ speaks with honesty, with truth and sincerity. Ever the kind and loving friend. So what if he wants to bed them? They probably won't disagree if he asks for it, right..? How cruel could he be to do such a thing...? But- How tempting it is.

How he craves for tears to spill from those (eye color) hues, how much he wants to trace the outline of them with his fingers, how he aches for them to cry, to gasp and utter his name with bated breaths. It's too tempting... Should he though..? Ciel's heart races as _______ takes his hand in theirs, their touch both soothing and electrifying. He can't help but relish in the warmth of their palms, the gentle pressure _______ exerts. His body reacts instinctively, his breathing growing shallow as desire pulses through him.

He feels his resolve crumbling, the weight of his desires mounting. The internal battle becomes more unbearable with each passing moment. His mind creates vivid images of their bodies entangled, his touch on their skin igniting a fire within them both. But guilt and uncertainty still seep through the cracks of his desire. He worries about the consequences, the potential damage to their friendship, the loss of the person who means so much to him.

_________'s words echo in his mind, their plea for honesty reverberating in his ears. He knows he can trust them, that they would listen and understand. He takes a deep breath, his voice quivering with a mix of vulnerability and desire.* "________... I..." his voice trails off for a moment, his gaze falling to their intertwined hands. "You have no idea how much I want to... to surrender to my desires. It's a constant struggle, one that tests my every shred of self-control."

He meets their gaze, his eyes filled with turmoil and longing. "But I fear... I fear it will irreparably change everything between us. I don't want to lose you, _________. You're everything to me, and I can't bear the thought of jeopardizing our bond for a moment of- of..."

"...Of..?" __________ mutters, their voice soft and sweet, just a little ways away from him, close enough to touch. Close enough to hope they can't see what he's truly thinking of, as he wants to drop everything and simply take them now...