HIS REGRET (1st BOOK) 18+

THIRTEEN : NEA

God he is making me feel so good,I'm getting addicted to his lips,when he went down on his knees and looked up at me with that intense in his eyes,i felt like I might just come seeing him like that,he is driving me crazy just the way he said I was driving him crazy too.

I was about to tell him,that I like him,as soon as I try to confess,he suddenly stops touching me and takes a step back,my heart does a thing that it never did before,it fucking hurts like anything,
"Why are you doing this to me?",I ask him,searching for his eyes and all I could see is regression,my heart clenches hard,he regrets doing it,isn't it?
I got down and I fix my top and put on my skirt,
"Let me take you home Nea",he says,
"Don't,just don't",I say him.
"Nea,please let me take...",before he can complete I say,
"YOU don't have to try so hard Quade I get it and I can go home by myself".
He reaches for me but I take a step back,backing away from him.

While driving back home all I thought is about him,does he still like that girl he told me about,is he not able to forget her yet or does he Remember her while kissing me?
My heart hurts again,of course he wouldn't do that,right?
I shouldn't be thinking about those things,but my mind is not helping me to be at ease,it's aching.
When I reached home,I remember me inviting him but he refused that day,maybe he is not ready yet,my mind keeps on searching for the answers which I know I won't be getting.
I go upstairs,inside my room,i lock it,and jump on my bed,lazy and pissed to clean myself, I can't sleep,so I put on some calm music and I go to sleep.

IN THE MORNING
It's Sunday which means no classes,I'm all free today,Normally I would've gone to his shop but now that I'm pissed so I won't be going,instead I go to my parents house,it's been a while since I met my brother,he Said he's going to check about Quade and to my surprise he hasn't called me yet,does that mean he didn't get any info on MY MAN...fuck I...I mean Quade.
I freshen up completely ignoring the feeling that's building in my chest only by remembering him.

"Mom",I scream while entering the house,
"Don't scream you little brat",my brother yells at me.
"Don't call me brat,you asshole",I yell at him.
"No cursing in my home",my mom scolds both of us.
He is annoying as hell and definitely an ASSHOLE because of what he did to my best friend.
Oh,I Don't wanna think about it,even though I like him as my brother,but I fucking hate him for what he did to my friend,I will never forgive him no matter what.

I come back to present from my thinking when my brother smacks my head,god I'm gonna kill him,"you fucking asshole",I yell and mom smacks my head this time,
"Mom", I scream again with pain,
"I told you no cursing Nea,apologise to your brother,right now",mom says,
Am so annoyed right now,I feel like crying thinking about everything,but I Don't,I think people cry because they are weak and I'm not weak,I tell myself as I say "sorry",he fucking grins,I have no fucking idea how my friend was with him.
"How come you are here,instead of being with your boyfriend?",Nick asks,
"So you do know am dating and how come you haven't scared him not that he will be scared,but still",i ask him,
"I did research about him and all I know is when he was 11 years old,he came from Nashville,something happened there but it's not recorded though",he tells me,
"And?",I ask him,because still I didn't get how come he is not doing any shit,
"And you seem happy",he says,
My heart feels warm somehow and I smile saying "Thank you for letting him off the hook".

"Oh you two,I knew you two love eachother no matter what",my mom says filled with love,
I roll my eyes and he does too,no wonder we are siblings.

"Mom can I talk to you",I ask her,
"Of course sweetie,what is it?"
"Ok you two ladies,I'll be get going I have work to do",nick says as he is out of the door,
"Come sweetie,let's sit there and talk",moms says as she takes my hand and drags me towards the couch,
"You look sad,like worried,what is it,you okay right?",she looks worried.
"I'm okay mom,you don't have to worry but I'm confused about my relationship", I tell her.
She nods indicating me to continue,"I don't know mom how to tell you,he feels somewhat detached",I tell her,
She nods again so I continue to tell her about his feelings for the other girl that he had before,I Don't even know the name of her,I never wanted to know anyway.

"Do you think he still likes her",she asks.
"I don't know mom,one day it feels like he's too close and the next second he takes a step back as if he is running away from me,as if he is hiding something from me,I don't know how to stay beside him when all he does is run away and never tells me why",I tell her.

"Did you try talking to him?",she asks.
I shake my head.
"Try talking to him first,maybe he needs some time,if he likes you he will open up to you,so don't worry honey it's gonna be okay,okay?"
"Okay mom thank you for being with me",
"Always honey,you know I love you right?",she says.
I nod my head hugging her.

I check my phone after coming back from my parent's,he didn't send me a message and I suddenly remember we were supposed to exchange it but something else happened,I sigh heavily,thinking about what mom said,I should talk to him,if he still likes her and if he doesn't wants to be in this relationship then I will have to let go of him,my heart starts to clench again,why the fuck am I feeling like this.
It's almost 9pm now,will he be waiting for me or will he be in his home,did he even miss me the way I'm missing him right now?
I think as I drive to his shop,hundreds of questions running through my mind as I enter the shop,it's opened and when I see him sitting in the corner,my heart squeezes in my chest,feeling somewhat revealed.

What is wrong with me,how can I feel happy only by seeing him,when he looks up at me,he gets up from his seat and walks towards me with a rush and he wraps me in his arms,I melt with his touch and I understood one thing right now that, I will be fucking shattered if he ever leaves me.

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